Hands Off The Threads, Creep

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Saturday, 11 January 2020

image for Hands Off The Threads, Creep
Hands Off The Threads, Creep

BILLINGSGATE POST: It was right out of Guys and Dolls. Nathan Detroit was Frank Sinatra, and Frank Sinatra was Nathan Detroit. This was in 1955, when girls were broads because they didn’t know no different. They smoked cigarettes, wore pink dresses with truffles, and looked you straight in the eye when they said, “Hands off the threads, creep,” when your hands started to wander.

The line was right out of Sinatra. At the Democrat Convention in 1956, he was greeted by Speaker of the House, Sam Rayburn, who had the audacity to place his hand on Sinatra’s shoulder.

“Hands off the threads, creep.”

Slim: “No one could touch him. But he touched everyone.”

And now, the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. Mind if I spin one of my favorites?”

Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me know what Spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars…

Slim: “You been munching on those edibles again?”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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