World Leaders Become Gossip Girls At NATO Conference

Written by Stefano M. Stefano

Friday, 6 December 2019

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Professional two-faced gossip girl, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau of Canada, was caught on mic with other NATO world leaders, mocking President Trump's impromptu press conference, but there were more tidbits caught on hidden microphones at the reception at Buckingham Palace. Here are just some of them, courtesy of our renowned big-shots:

Belgium Prime Minister Sophie Wilmes: "Can you hear me now? I can hear you, too! I know! What about now? Can you hear me now?"

Greek Prime Minister Kynakos Mitsotakis: "Me so horny!"

(Unknown Guest): I shouldn't even be here! It's all a bit of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey!"

British P.M. Boris Johnson (to the unknown guest): "Get away from me, you strange, skinny man! Security!"

U.S.President Trump (to a waiter): "Can I get a cup of covfefe?"

Waiter (to Trump): "Are you on drugs?!"

German Chancellor Angela Merkel: "What the *** is this ***ing ****?! I asked for a ***damned, ****** piece of ***** and I get a *********************, you stupid ***** son of a *****!!!"

Canadian P.M. Justin Trudeau: "Of course, I always tell them it's 10 centimetres, instead of just 4 inches! It sounds better!"

Lithuanian President Gitanas Nauseda: "Fer shizzle! Lithu's in da house!"

Latverian dictator Doctor Doom: "I'm going to destroy all of you!"

Waiter (to Trump): "Do you want some calamari, Mister President?"

U.S. President Trump (to waiter): "I want nothing! I want no squid pro quo!"

Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau (to Merkel): "Say 'hello' to my little friend!"

Angela Merkel (to Trudeau): "Uh...no, thanks."

Trudeau to Merkel: "I was talking about Emmanuel Macron of France!"

Spanish Prime Minister Pedro Sanchez (to Netherlands Prime Minister Mark Rutte): "So I says, 'Bernie, I need two sheeps!', and then Bernie says, he says, 'I ain;t got no sheeps!', so I tells him, I says, "But, Bernie, I gotta have two sheeps!"

Congratulations Planet Earth.

These are some of your revered heads of state.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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