Man Didn't Vote In Election

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 13 December 2019

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By participating, you are putting your interests in others' hands

A man has revealed how he decided not to seize the opportunity of casting his vote in the UK General Election yesterday, and went to work instead.

Myke Woodson told friends that he really couldn't care less what happened in the election, and hoped with all his heart, that NOBODY ventured out to vote, to give a strong and clear message to all politicians that they are dishonest, wannabe-intellectuals with no scruples whatever, whose time has finally come, and who should be loaded into an incinerator and torched.

The friends were surprised at this. One asked:

"Boris Johnson? He's going to get Brexit done, you know."

"He's a cunt," said Woodson. "He should be chopped-up small, and launched into outer space in a titanium flask."

Another said:

"If you don't vote, you won't be able to complain about the result when it's not the result you wanted."

Woodson replied:

"First of all, I don't want ANY result. Secondly, however, I CAN complain, because all the available options - that is, the political parties - are terrible. It's a bit like going into a restaurant, and having to choose from the only two items on the menu, which are 'dog turd on toast', or 'chicken marinated in dog piss'. No thanks!"

When another friend asked him what kind of arrangement he would like put in place for a fairer society, he replied:

"It's already way too late for that. 'Society' was the beginning of the end. There is no way back. We are moving further and further away from our intended path of development. To make things a little more interesting, however, I advocate sharpening the spears, and let's get back to basics."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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