Prince Andrew To Cut All Ties With Prince Andrew

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 4 December 2019

image for Prince Andrew To Cut All Ties With Prince Andrew
Prince Andrew: wants nothing more to do with himself

After yesterday's news that Prince Andrew had been advised to submit himself to making legal testimony before a US court, and with more and more of the Duke of York's business associates disassociating themselves from him and his projects, the Prince, himself, has decided that enough is enough, and has cut ties with himself.

Prince Andrew has found himself embroiled in the unseemly activities of the former financier, Jeffrey Epstein, who, before his apparent suicide, was being held in custody as investigations rumbled on with regard to his involvement in mass child trafficking for sexual purposes.

Prince Andrew, as Epstein's high-profile friend, has been accused of knowing more than he is prepared to tell, and also faces a charge of having had underage sex with an American woman, Virginia Roberts - now Giuffre - whilst she was still 17 years old.

Today, Andrew became the latest person to cut ties with himself, vowing that he would not talk to himself - as he often does - nor interact with himself in any way, shape or form, and that includes playing with himself.

Andrew said:

"I've examined my conscience over the last two weeks, and, I have to admit, I can't continue to have the same kind of relationship I previously had with Andrew. He and I have grown apart, and I feel it's only right that I break off my association with him, as I should have done with that kiddyfiddler, Epstein."

It's understood the Prince has turned all the mirrors in Buckingham Palace to the walls, so that he won't have to look at himself anymore.

Others that have put a large distance between themselves and Prince Andrew are Lord and Lady Molestershire, and the French-German nobleman, Goethe Farquhar-Dévier.

Prince Charles talks to trees.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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