Harry Maguire To Play Father Christmas At Manchester United Christmas Party

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 11 December 2019

image for Harry Maguire To Play Father Christmas At Manchester United Christmas Party
He might also thrash out a few traditional Xmas tunes for the lads

Harry Maguire, the Manchester United and England central defender, is to take on an extra responsibility over the coming Christmas period, when he will be donning a Santa Claus suit and a big, fluffy, white beard, and acting as the official club Father Christmas at the Old Trafford Xmas Party on 23 December.

United have tried to get away from the 'boozy', rowdy and raucous antics of previous years' parties, and have gone back to a traditional, family-friendly arrangement, for which wives, girlfriends and children will all be welcome.

Maguire, 26, who cost United £80million in his summer transfer from Leicester City, has made the defensive anchorman position his own, although this hasn't done much to bring the club any nearer to ending its title drought.

But, if he can't help on the pitch, Maguire believes it is his duty to try and help off it, and he has approached the new responsibility with a professionalism fans of United have come to expect.

Said Maguire:

"I've been learning all about the history of Santa, and how he manages to keep the children of the world happy. I've been shown pictures of his sleigh, his team of reindeers, and his grotto, and told about how he operates huge factories full of elves. It's all jolly interesting!"

And 'Santa' has some interesting gifts in his sack for the guests at the Old Trafford bash. He laughed:

"It's well known that Paul Pogba wants some more money, Fred might benefit from some kind of protective headgear, and that Ole Gunnar Solskjaer is in desperate need of a new job!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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