Man Could Die Any Minute

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 17 December 2019

image for Man Could Die Any Minute
Is that car laughing?

There were severe concerns, last night, for the welfare of a foreign man living in an area of the world which some have described as being "out of his comfort zone", and fears that he could, quite literally, die at any moment.

The man in question already has a pre-existing condition - diabetes mellitus - which requires him to inject insulin four times a day, and leaves him susceptible to other illnesses that may be prevalent from time to time.

His age is also against him. At 56, the intensely-hot climate does him no favors, and, if he should become ill, there is a distinct lack of adequate health provision available in his locality.

These problems are compounded by extremely poor standards of sanitation, and the complete lack of a household waste disposal system, which results in a veritable and vast variety of vermin vying for victuals.

But it's the roads that are the most hazardous factor that might lead to the man's untimely death at any given moment. Poor standards of road surface, potholes, and deep ruts provide ample opportunity for a grisly end, but even these are no match for the complete lack of road safety techniques employed by his fellow roadusering motorcyclists, the Cambodians.

Driving either too fast or too slow - but never at a safe speed - without proper head protection, being totally unaware of the presence of other roadusers, pulling out of junctions without the slightest inclination that something might be about to slam into them, being unaware of the concept of driving on the correct side of the road, being unaware of the relevance to other vehicles around them of signals warning of a 'right' or 'left' turn, being unaware that overtaking often involves oncoming traffic, being unaware that four adults (or more) on a motorbike is not considered safe, being unaware that 'pulling wheelies', weaving in and out of traffic at breakneck speed, or other acrobatic stunts on a motorbike is contrary to the laws of any country on Earth, and participating in any other number of dangerous acts of pure stupidity whilst riding a motorcycle, the locals make travelling on the country's roads a tad hazardous, not to say life-threatening.

Which is where we came in, really.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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