Six-Year-Old Prefers Santa Claus to Jesus

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Wednesday, 25 December 2019

image for Six-Year-Old Prefers Santa Claus to Jesus
Liam Fitzpatrick appreciates that unlike God and Jesus, Santa operates on a deadline.

While not opposed to celebrating baby Jesus’s birthday, six-year-old Liam Fitzpatrick of St. Augustine, Florida, stated that, overall, he prefers Santa Claus to Jesus.

“With Santa Claus, I get to make a whole list, and I usually get a lot of what I want,” said Liam. “Not everything, of course, but that’s okay. My mom says that would unrealistic.”

Liam noted that on the occasions that he’s asked Jesus or Jesus’s father for things that he wants, he generally sees little in the way of results. “I understand that the big things can take some time, but it’s nice that with Santa that we know what to expect. He’s on a deadline.”

All that being said, Liam emphasized that he is not in any respect turning away from Jesus, but that his expectations with Jesus are limited. “He’s only a baby. How could he really be expected to answer prayers? That would be really hard.”

Liam went on to wish Santa, Jesus, God, and the whole wide world a very merry Christmas. “I hope everybody gets everything they want.”

He added, “But it’s probably Santa, not Jesus, they should ask.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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