Nashville Poet Narrowly Escapes Drowning in Stream of Consciousness

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Tuesday, 10 December 2019

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Poet Walter O'Malley learned firsthand that a drowning man has no use for eloquence.

Weary of trite rhymes and predictable turns of phrase, poet Walter O'Malley of Nashville, Tennessee, decided to try his hand at free-form verse, only to narrowly avoid drowning in a stream of consciousness.

"I just thought I'd dip my toe in and get a sense of the word flow," said O'Malley. "Little did I know the torrents that awaited me."

As O'Malley explained it, allowing his thoughts to roam unfettered by sound or structure caused them to come on like a tidal wave, utterly overwhelming him, and leaving him gasping for air and in fear for his life. "I had to swim against the stream and grasp at whatever simplistic verbiage was available. A drowning man hasn't the luxury of eloquence."

Fortunately, O'Malley was able to pull himself out of the raging river of consciousness by grabbing hold of a cliché and holding on for dear life - and came out a better man for it.

"What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger," he noted. "Never again will I doubt the power of words."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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