Top 10 Reasons Nasty Pelosi Didn't Turn Over Articles of Impeachment for Senate Trial

Funny story written by JennyNorthStar

Friday, 20 December 2019

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Washington D.C. - This week, Democrats fulfilled their over-three-year-long dream by passing two articles of Impeachment against President Trump. A journey proclaimed the day he was inaugurated, and even voted on by the House of Representatives three times previously which didn't pass.

However, before the left's "Impeachmas Parties" and celebrations could commence, Nasty Pelosi told reporters she intends to delay formal, physical delivery of the articles of impeachment to the Senate. This seemed a little bizarre, since her Democrat co-conspirators, and herself, have been telling the world for weeks that Trump is a "clear and present danger" to the United States. Just one more day of him being in office would create irreparable harm to this country, and destroy all chances of children to live free, and would adversely impact all generations to come. He is an existential threat to humanity, even more devastating than climate change.

So why wait? Such a delay would be historically unprecedented. Of course, the entire impeachment process has all been made up by Nasty Pelosi as she has gone along. Why should delivering the articles of impeachment to the Senate be any different?

Several constitutional scholars have reasoned that "impeachment" is not technically official until the Articles of Impeachment have been delivered to the Senate. The "distinguished" Harvard law professor, Noah Feldman, who also served as a Democrat-called impeachment witness, came to that same conclusion.

Maybe Trump hasn't been impeached after all. That would make some of those gleeful, euphoric, exuberant, jubilant, ebullient talking heads on most of the major news networks holiday season not so merry! It may also explain why Trump at his last "Keep America Great" rally said "It doesn't feel like I'm being impeached."

Some have speculated Pelosi just got cold feet. She knows it ultimately will go nowhere, and there will be a decisive acquittal in the Senate trial. For you Trump haters out there, that means he won't be removed from office. Maybe she knows that there are no crimes enumerated in the articles of impeachment, and her long-pronounced accusations of bribery and extortion, which she conveniently left out, could never be proven anyway. Maybe she knows, if it goes to the Senate for trial, the Democrats only hope against Trump in the 2020 election, Joe Biden, will be exposed for all his extortion schemes for making his son millions of dollars from the Ukraine, China, and even Romania.

Whatever reason she has, or may be cooking up in her witches brew, in the interim, here are the Top 10 Reasons Nasty Pelosi didn't turn over Articles of Impeachment for Senate trial.

Top 10 Reasons Nasty Pelosi Didn't Turn Over Articles of Impeachment for Senate Trial

10. After weeks of telling America how often she has prayed for President Trump, and how sad she was about impeachment, she was just too overcome with sorrow, and needed extra time to go through the five stages of grief: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance; she even wore all black the day of making the announcement.

9. After all the long impeachment proceedings and vote counts, she was having a bad hair and denture day, and didn't want to talk to any Senators.

8. After over three years of not working with the Senate on any meaningful legislation, she has simply forgotten where the Senate chambers are.

7. After thousands of hours of testimony transcripts, constitutional opinions, legal briefs, investigative documentation, and 500-page impeachment reports, the House copy machines simply ran out of paper.

6. The traditional wooden box used to carry the Articles of Impeachment to the Senate was lost and accidentally mixed up with her personal belongings.

5. This being the fourth House impeachment vote, and after only one passing, there are still eleven months remaining before election day to try a few more.

4. It's a lot more fun to say "Impeached" rather than "Impeached and Acquitted"; even better to say he was Impeached multiple times.

3. In the catastrophic event Trump gets re-elected in 2020, instead of just talking about Impeachment, she will be 'ready to go' on inauguration day.

2. For weeks, she has been channeling the Founding Founders: Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, and George Washington, and wrapping herself in the Constitution. Her body fluids smeared Article I, Section 3, Clause 6, which says: The Senate shall have the sole Power to try all Impeachments.

1. She is already underway on her plans to impeach Vice President Mike Pence, and wants a twofer. Since the Speaker of the House is third in line to the presidency, that would make her President! (God help us all.)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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