Assange removal program fully explained

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Monday, 23 December 2019

image for Assange removal program fully explained
Best to say “Good evening, your honor” as you walk by here? Or not?

There ARE laws against many actions, which citizens here and there around the world may be unaware of.

*If a company leaves its manual for how to create a product lying around on the sidewalk, you must not pick it up and sell it to one of that company’s competitors.

*If somebody sneaks up to your ear and passes along a secret government program you must shut the ear immediately.

*Information lying on the sidewalk, that slipped out of somebody’s briefcase--government lies, dissimulation, and propaganda—leave it to somebody else.

*A document lying on the sidewalk listing criminal activities in various wars, possible war crimes, should not be passed along to any news source whatever.

*That is, although it was not handed to you by a whistleblower, it was just lying there stained and wrinkling on the sidewalk, do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

*And, if you find any representative of a government lying on the sidewalk, do not walk by and pretend not to notice.

Now to Mr. Assange:

*If you are given information of government war crimes and other criminal behavior by a whistleblower who works for that very government you must NOT publish it.

*Do not talk about it, whisper it, email it, social media it, or think about it.

*Now, if that same information is then ALSO published by mainstream press organizations, that is NOT against the law.

*That is, it IS against the law.

*But because the MSM normally salutes and services the government in all its enterprises, it will be forgiven this time only, with one dark warning look.

*But! If you are a rogue publisher with a history of commentaries critical of government in general you will be arrested, imprisoned, extradited, and put away for the rest of your life.

*Especially when the national security matter in the documents is revealed as “criminal.”

*Now, notice this official response does NOT resemble behavior of the Gestapo of Nazi Germany.

*The Gestapo of Nazi Germany would have kept Mr. Assange bound with barbed wire in his cell, blindfolded, and subject to flesh-eating bacteria in his bunk.

*It would not have cooked up a sex charge job to harass him, or have allowed him sanctuary in an embassy in the first place.

*Mr. Assange would have been hauled out of bed in the middle of the night, disappeared into the nearest estuary, and completely forgotten.

*Let us be careful to think long and hard about the dissimilarities here between “the free nations” and Nazi Germany.

*Finally, if we find a judge involved in the current Assange extradition case lying on the sidewalk, we must not walk by without a “Good evening, your honor!”

These are laws.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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