Greta Thunberg Is Pregnant

Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 8 December 2019

image for Greta Thunberg Is Pregnant
With ideas, you understand...

There were 'knowing smiles' and sideways glances aplenty all across the scientific community today, after it was announced that the Swedish environmental activist, 16-year-old schoolgirl, Greta Thunberg, is pregnant - with ideas on how to save the planet.

Greta, who only last week reacted to claims by grown-ups, that children of today were "angry", by retorting:

"We're angry because you're making us angry! Stop making us angry!"

may now have an excuse for her angry outburst - the early stages of her pregnancy.

The schooltot has had several good ideas:

• cutting back on processes that increase environmental waste

● cutting back on carbon-generating air travel

■ cutting back on the bullshit spoken to your children, parents!

☆ cutting back on the use of strange 'bullet-point' symbols

She has plenty more where they came from, she says, and we'll begin to see the fruits of her labour in the coming months.

Her parents say she is tired, however, and they are considering enforcing a period of confinement on her.

Greta's mum said:

"She's bursting open with ideas. Me and her dad are a bit sick of it, actually."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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