A Manchester City supporter accused of making monkey noises directed towards Manchester United player, Fred, in Sunday's local derby, is himself descended from apes, it's been reported.
Anthony Burke, 41, has been arrested by police, and is currently being kept in a locked cage.
Burke denies being racist, and wrote on Facebook that he was only putting his hands in his trousers, and not scratching under his armpits, whilst repeatedly voicing:
like a monkey.
The ex-Army veteran was said by his ex-wife to be infested with fleas - especially in his beard - and has a distinct liking for bananas.
"I don't know why he was making monkey noises. I've heard it said that he, himself, is descended from the apes. He's a daft bugger!"