Why not try Big Game Hunting in 2020?

Wednesday, 25 December 2019

image for Why not try Big Game Hunting in 2020?
Hector, like Donald Trump Junior, was a lion bugger

It has risen massively in popularity during 2019, especially among people with too much time and money on their hands who really, really love animals. Why not go to Africa and have a go at "The Big Five"?

Geoff Arse is a professional tour guide in Kenya. "I've had all sorts of really great people here, from Donald Trump Junior to Vladimir Putin. They all want to say that they've done The Big Five."

"The Big Five are the lion, the elephant, the rhino, the hippo and the honey badger. There are two ways of doing them, either tranquilised or untranquilised. Most people prefer to do it without a condom as it gives a better sensation around the shaft. Obviously women can't do it, but we do get a few inquiries about that."

Boris Cowshagger was a satisfied customer. "I just came back from doing the elephant. Tranquilised, of course. I could hardly get my cock in, but they managed to get a photo just before the elephant woke up. That's going on my Twitter right away. It really is a life-changing experience. I'm going to try the honey badger next. They're vicious little critters, but I hear they're very tight!"

Arse's Big Five Tours are available from £15,000 on the internet.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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