Santa Putin

Written by Matt Birkenhauer

Monday, 23 December 2019

image for Santa Putin
Sign your 'X' on the line, Santa Putie, / and I’ll also throw in Ukraine tonight.

Sung by Donald Trump, in his negligee.

Santa Putin, just slip some oppo on Joe Biden,
For me.
Been a really useful tool, Santa Putin,
So hurry down my chimney tonight.

Santa Putin, the 2020 election too,
For my coup.
I'll wait up for you dear, Santa Putin,
So hurry down my chimney tonight.

Think of all the fun I've missed,
Think of all the despots that I haven't kissed.
Next year I could be just as good,
If you'll check off my Christmas list.

Santa Putin, I just want a shot, and really that's not
A lot.
Been your asset all year,
Santa Putin, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa Putin, one little thing I really need,
The deed
To the Electoral College.
Santa Putin, so climb on down my chimney tonight.

Santa Putie, I’ll let you now annex
All the Czechs.
Sign your 'X' on the line,
Santa Putie, and I’ll also throw in Ukraine tonight.

Come and trim my Christmas tree,
With votes by blacks suppressed by the GOP.
I really do believe in you,
Let's see if you believe in me.

Santa Putin, forgot to mention one little thing,
A ring,
From Volodymyr Zelensky
With even more dirt on Hunter Biden tonight.
So hurry down my chimney tonight.
Hurry, tonight.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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