After a series of sketchy denials that were, quite frankly, somewhat difficult to believe, Prince Andrew has issued his most dramatic denial yet this afternoon, when he denied ever having met his mother, the Queen.
Andrew, also known as the Duke of York, as well as 'Randy Andy', made the astonishing claim to reporters who were clamouring to ask him whether he would be going to the United States to make a statement with regard to the Jeffrey Epstein sex trafficking inquiry. The Prince denied ever having heard of Epstein, and hesitantly asked what sex trafficking was.
"I've never met that Virgin girl, and I've never met that kiddyfiddler. I've never been to the USA, or even out of London. I hope that clears things up for you."