Chickadees: Taking A Cold Edge Off Your Chisel

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Wednesday, 18 December 2019

image for Chickadees: Taking A Cold Edge Off Your Chisel
Major Amos B Hoople

BILLINGSGATE POST: In a campaign speech to 23 farmers stuffed in a corn silo in Pocahontas, Iowa, Democrat candidate Joe Biden told the gathered hay shakers that he fully supported the conversion of corn to ethanol, even though it didn’t make economic sense. They appreciated that.

They were all wearing brand new Dickies Short-Sleeve Tractor Coveralls. Allowing for a generous fit in the shoulders and chest, its bi-swing back and elastic waist inserts offered them easy access as they mounted and dismounted their John Deere tractors.

To show he was a common man, he told the farmers, "I will never have a plane with my name on it,” a sly comment comparing himself to rival Donald Trump. Adding, “unless I am elected president and change my name to Air Force One.“

One can never take a politician’s word at face value.

Whenever there appears to be a comprehensive misunderstanding as to the intent of a politician, I always fall back to what Major Amos Barnaby Hoople once said when addressing a convention of tin horn cowboys who had been rode hard and put away wet the evening before:

"HAR-R-RUMF! Would any of you imbeciles be interested if I could pull a few strings and get some chickadees to take the cold edge off your chisels this morning? KAFF-KAFF, WHEEEZ, GULP, GLUG-GLUG!"

Slim: “You can count me in.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. I’ll take two.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more