The festive season is upon us once more, and as parents desperately wrack their brains for ideas to excite and surprise their children, help is at hand, as this year's most popular toy is set to be the new, updated Donald Trump Talking Doll.
The doll is 10 inches high, and has realistic hair and movable hands that are able to grab things. Like crotches.
It comes in a navy blue suit and red tie, but alternative clothing sets are available.
The doll's speaking mechanism allows it to say stock Trump phrases, such as:
"You really screwed up!"
"Think big and live large."
"Brand yourself, and toot your own horn."
"Have an ego. There's nothing wrong with ego." And, of course:
The new, updated version of the doll has extra phrases, such as:
"No smocking gun! No smocking gun!"
The mechanism is operated by pulling a crude drawstring in his neck, just like the real president.
The 'New Updated Donald Trump Talking-Bullshit Doll' is available in all good stores now, at just $89.99.
Early purchases are advised, as the product is expected to be a popular Christmas purchase amongst those who cannot make their minds up about what gift to get for someone, and end up buying any old shit.