Santa Claus Considering Sending In Sick Note

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 19 December 2019

image for Santa Claus Considering Sending In Sick Note
He's looking a bit weary, but who'd do the job, if not Santa?

Santa Claus, the maker of children's dreams the world over every year on December 25th, is on the verge of creating a huge controversy this festive season, after it was revealed he is tired, overworked, and considering sending in a sick note.

Santa's only problem is, he doesn't know where to send it.

Hundreds of millions of children worldwide would suffer by not receiving a single present.

But, says Santa - who is also known as Father Christmas - that is not his problem. His only problem, as I already mentioned, is that he has never before taken a day off work sick, and doesn't know who to give the medical certificate to.

Santa has been in his current position for hundreds of years, and is starting to feel the strain.

"I'm getting on in years," he said, "and things aren't getting any easier. The weather doesn't agree with me, the toy production process is getting more difficult, elves want more pay, and the kinds of toys kids want are bigger and more expensive, making the delivery process that much more cumbersome. I've just had enough!"

For the moment, the grumpy old bastard is playing it by ear. He's going to take a couple more days of rest before deciding what to do.

"It certainly is a bit of a conundrum," said Santa. "But then again, they - whoever 'they' are - can always give me the 'sack', can't they?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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