HRH Prince Andrew, the Duke of York, currently eighth in line of succession to the throne, has expressed warm approval and admiration for the efforts of the Swedish schoolgirl and climate activist, Greta Thunberg.
"Yes, a marvellous creature. High temperatures and all that. Smashing. Splendid, splendid! And she's only 16, isn't she? Now that makes her particularly appealing. Would absolutely love to meet her."
Prince Andrew's recent brush with the law concerning his sexual exploits at a Jeffery Epstein party with the American, Virginia Roberts, a minor at the time, appear not to have dampened his appetite.
"Most interesting indeed. And so petite and...young," said the Prince, with a scary look. "Maybe I can invite her to my lair...sorry, palatial abode, and discuss how icebergs melt and why..and what happens next," he giggled. "And she could bring some of the girls from her class. Terrific idea. Actually, my father's more into this environmental, horticultural stuff, but I'd be more than willing to learn, and she's welcome to spank me if I'm too slow on the uptake...figuratively speaking, of course," he added, licking his lips. "People say I'm a dirty old man, but you can only understand young girls if you get into them, sorry, onto them, sorry, off with them, no, on with them or together with them, or whatever. Most important thing is for them to come at all. I'm sure Greta can open my eyes and, of course, I have one or two surprises down my, sorry, up my sleeve to improve the atmosphere."
And with that the lecherous Royal returned to his chambers in great haste, and not a moment too soon....