Virgil out of Thunderbirds stole my innocence: Local woman's shock claim

Funny story written by Clive Danton

Friday, 6 December 2019

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A 63-year-old woman from Whitechapel in East London has revealed that she lost her virginity to Thunderbird 2 pilot, Virgil Tracy, weeks after starting a job as a cleaning lady at the International Rescue HQ, Tracy Island in 1967.

Mary Terry, a widow from Vallance Road, told newsmen: "Virgil came onto me a couple of days after I started the job.

"He was very charming and persuasive, and I fell head over heels.

"He took me out for a number of Sunday afternoon spins in Thunderbird 2, and even took me up into space in Thunderbird 3 when Alan was away on holiday with Tintin.

"He once let me have a go at driving the Mole, but had to take the wheel back when I got too close to the centre of the Earth's core.

"Then one night, after we'd had a few beers from the fridge, he started kissing me.

"Before I knew it, we were rolling around in front of a roaring log fire. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world.

"Our affair lasted a few months, and then, one night, after sex, he chucked me.

"He told me that he still loved me, but that, his dad, Mr Tracy, had told him that being with me was affecting his work.

"Apparently, his dad had bollocked him about a recent fuck-up when Virgil had loaded the wrong pod into Thunderbird 2, and had deployed a number of trucks with hydraulic rams instead of Thunderbird 4 while on a rescue mission at the bottom of the Indian Ocean.

"I quit the job shortly after, and started working as a cleaning lady for Joe 90, who was too young to have sex with."

Mrs Terry's revelation comes just a week after a 60-year-old woman from Bow revealed that, in 1967, she'd had group sex with 5 Mysterons while Captain Scarlet watched.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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