New set of love letters between Trump and Kim exposed by disturbed CIA whistleblower

Written by joseph k winter

Thursday, 19 December 2019

image for New set of love letters between Trump and Kim exposed by disturbed CIA whistleblower
Mr. Kim's pet monkey Griselda regrets she might not get a trip to The White House

In a dramatic follow-up to impeachment articles yesterday, new disclosures have appeared today.

These may lead to retraction (and reconsideration) of House impeachment articles, so that Democrats may add further indications of Mr. Trump’s instability to the list.

Further delay in sending the impeachment indictment to the senate is thus clearer at this time.

A new, anonymous CIA whistleblower has come forward after he heard about a letter-exchange between Trump and Kim Jong Un, President of North Korea.

This response is in tandem with the previous whistleblower who was told about Trump’s phone call with Zelensky and became terribly alarmed.

The impeachment enquiry directly followed.

Chain of letters between Trump and Kim:

Dear Donald,

I am sooo disappointed, especially after our tryst at the DMZ last June when we swam naked in the swimming pool together.

I had actually thought that after you got rid of that moron, Bolton, you would come to me and say, Kim, old buddy, let’s get on with this denuclearization thing.

But all I hear from you now, dear amigo, is silence. Perhaps you are too busy with the impeachment business?

My sympathies.

Your pal, Kim Jong Un.

~~

Oh, Kimmy, old stick, I tell you I’ve been ponderously busy.

Do I remember that dip in the pool at the DMZ when we swam naked and held hands? Of course I do!

And all the wonderful amity and friendliness, especially since you gave me some Chinese chocolates you’d been saving for the past ten years!

I tell you, my friend, I am fully ready to go ahead with the deal, including getting the troops the hell out of South Korea!

Wouldn’t that save a bundle! And they wouldn’t have to pay the 5 billion I’m demanding. Everybody would be sooo happy!

But nooooo. The idiots at State will have nothing to do with it—it has to be war war war, and they haven’t had enough war under my administration.

Plus, I hate to tell you this--they never intended a deal in the first place!

Is this MY way?

You know it is not.

Apologies, my friend, until maybe after the election?

~~

Mr. Trump,

I must advise you that the end of the year is a few days away, and I have my finger on a new rocket test in the spirit of defense of our homeland.

Either you get on with it as a leader or—do you mean to tell me you’re a helpless orange dotard and cannot do a deal here?

I’m pissed.

His excellency Kim Jong Un

~~

Look, moron, my hands are tied! Did you not hear me, little rocket man?

As though I don’t have enough to deal with at this time!

President With the Greatest (and most stable) Brain in US History,

Donald J. Trump

~~

Thoroughly alarmed that this president may be resisting a new war, especially with Iran and/or in South America, the new CIA whistleblower has turned to Ms. Pelosi.

“Definitely!” she replied. “This must be added to the rest! Endangering national security!”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more