Jeremy Corbyn Underestimated The Sheer Stupidity Of The Public

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 19 December 2019

image for Jeremy Corbyn Underestimated The Sheer Stupidity Of The Public
Mr Corbyn wondering if people could be any more stupid than they were last Thursday

Labour Party leader, Jeremy Corbyn, has said he had underestimated the stupidity of the voting public, and will move quickly to remedy this, by resigning his post in the next few weeks.

Corbyn said that, despite all the online jokes and memes at his expense, calling him a 'terrorist-sympathiser' and 'anti-British', he had imagined that, when it came to casting their votes, the public might remember they were voting for 'parties' rather than 'individuals'.

"We seem to have adopted the American model," he said, "where what you did and said 20 years ago, or what colour tie you are wearing, will be the things that grip the public's attention, rather than your party's ideologies, and what good you could do for the country."

Mr Corbyn thinks that, because of how people in the US have become 'involved in politics' - that is, to get behind their favourite, like they would a popstar - voters in Britain have somehow convinced themselves they have a 'political stance', although, in truth, many have adopted an ideology based on what colour a given party's leader's tie was, or if he looked 'grumpy' or not.

This is, clearly, not what 'politics' is about.

Concrete and well-intentioned plans for the country's future, even though these might mean having to endure some harsh realities along the way, are, says Mr Corbyn, preferable to half-baked, pie-in-the-sky ideas and ridiculous promises which cannot possibly be kept once the 'promiser'has swept to power on its magic carpet of fantastic lies.

All swallowed whole by people with no ideas of their own, and who were only too willing to chomp down those of Mr Johnson, and wash them down with some of Tescos best economy wines. Or a Diet Coke.

Welcome to the next five years.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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