There were 197 spoof news stories published in December 2019. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Liverpool FC In Trouble After Five Fail Drug Tests
The row over Liverpool fielding a young and inexperienced team to face Aston Villa in the EFL Cup defeat last week gathered new momentum today, after it was revealed that five of the youngsters had failed their drug tests. The names of the players...
Read full storyManchester United Ready To Give Pochettino Manager's Job
Manchester United executives are thought to be putting the finishing touches to a deal that would install Mauricio Pochettino to the coveted Old Trafford manager's job, but will wait until after today's game with Aston Villa to make an announcement.
Read full storyMauricio Pochettino Spotted In Manchester Trafford Centre Buying Household Items
Shoppers at Manchester's Trafford Centre retail complex became excited this afternoon, after former Tottenham Hotspur manager, Mauricio Pochettino, was seen with his wife, shopping for bed linen. He was also carrying some towels and two cushions.
Read full storyGreta Thunberg Is Pregnant
There were 'knowing smiles' and sideways glances aplenty all across the scientific community today, after it was announced that the Swedish environmental activist, 16-year-old schoolgirl, Greta Thunberg, is pregnant - with ideas on how to save the p...
Read full storyHarry Maguire: Manchester United Can Be Champions
Harry Maguire, the Manchester United and England central defender, has said that his team can still win the Premier League title this season - and he can prove it. The Yorkshireman was speaking after United's stunning 2-1 victory over their intens...
Read full storyChick-fil-A Admits "Eat Mor Chikin" Ad Written by Semi-Literate Employee, Not Cow
Restaurant chain Chick-fil-A recently admitted that its popular misspelled advertisement playing off the idea that cows want people to eat more chicken so that they, in turn, will not be eaten, was written not by a cow, as the ad implies, but by a se...
Read full storyCat And Dog In LGBTQ+ Row
As the world slowly learns to come to terms with the countless new rules imposed upon it of genderbending, an even newer and potentially more controversial consequence has raised its ugly head - involving a cat and a dog! In what has been termed '...
Read full storyFacts about your anus
Here are some interesting facts you might not know about your anus. Your anus is the coldest place in the solar system. Your anus is tilted at 98 degrees. Your anus has its own atmosphere. Your anus is made up largely of ammonia and metha...
Read full storyManchester United Supporters Boo Team Off Pitch
In absolutely astonishing scenes never before witnessed at Old Trafford, Manchester United players were booed as they left the pitch at the end of their 2-2 draw with Aston Villa yesterday. United, looking for a win that might keep manager Ole Gun…
Read full storyHarry Maguire Warned About Christmas Carol Singing Nuisance
The festive season is well-and truly upon us, and not without an early controversy, as Manchester United and England central defender Harry Maguire and his girlfriend Fern Hawkins have upset some of their neighbours with their own particular brand of...
Read full storyDonald Trump Talking Doll - With New Added Phrases - Expected To Be Christmas Bestseller
The festive season is upon us once more, and as parents desperately wrack their brains for ideas to excite and surprise their children, help is at hand, as this year's most popular toy is set to be the new, updated Donald Trump Talking Doll. The d…
Read full storySpoof Writer's Book On Amazon Was A Bit Pricey
A man who was looking into the affairs of a writer on the satirical news website, TheSpoof.com, was astonished to find that a book written by that writer was listed on www.Amazon.com at a rather pricey $965.90, which took some believing, I can tell y...
Read full storyHarry Maguire Has Decided To Leave His Christmas Shopping Until After The Sales Start
You wouldn't have thought he'd have been short of a bob or two, but that's the impression several people have been given tonight, after Manchester United central defender, Harry Maguire, announced that he is to leave his Christmas-present shopping un...
Read full storyHarry Maguire To Play Father Christmas At Manchester United Christmas Party
Harry Maguire, the Manchester United and England central defender, is to take on an extra responsibility over the coming Christmas period, when he will be donning a Santa Claus suit and a big, fluffy, white beard, and acting as the official club Fath...
Read full storyTrump escapes impeachment by promoting himself to President Of Planet Earth aka POPE.
Following a tiring mind-numbing exercise in composing a six-page letter to Nancy Pelosi sprinkled with vehement denials and accusatory finger-pointing of ‘ impeachment scam & sham’, ‘witch hunt’, ‘fake news’, ‘open war on democracy’, blah blah, P...
Read full storyVirgil out of Thunderbirds stole my innocence: Local woman's shock claim
A 63-year-old woman from Whitechapel in East London has revealed that she lost her virginity to Thunderbird 2 pilot, Virgil Tracy, weeks after starting a job as a cleaning lady at the International Rescue HQ, Tracy Island in 1967. Mary Terry, a wi...
Read full storyEtch a Sketch cafe launches festive Coffee
Kevin Wilkes, the 24-year-old owner of Chutney on the Fritz's latest coffee emporium, Sketchy, has revealed his new range of seasonal drinks. There is the Marshmallow Maximiser, which is just an extra two marshmallows with a Hot Chocolate - perfec...
Read full storyShane McGowan To See Dentist About Having His Teeth Out
Shane McGowan, the frontman of Irish punk and folk rockers, The Pogues, has stunned friends by booking a dental appointment to have his teeth out. McGowan, 61, underwent a nine-hour operation in 2016, during which he had an entire set of teeth in...
Read full storyNew England Patriots' Tom Brady Urges Spoof Writer Not To Bother
New England Patriots quarterback, Tom Brady, fresh from an embarrassing 27-24 home defeat at the hands of the Miami Dolphins yesterday, which pitches the team into their first post-season Wild Card game since 2009, has warned journalists not to write...
Read full storyRacism News: Apes At Zoo Resent Monkey Chanting
Monkeys at a British zoo have called for football fans to stop using monkey chants to taunt black players, as it tends to portray monkeys as somewhat lower on the evolutionary scale than humans, which they resent. Their concerns relate, more speci…
Read full storyNew Year To Have The Lowest 4-Digit Total For Nine Years
As 2019 slowly, but surely, approaches its conclusion, and we get ever nearer to another new year, it's been noticed that next year - 2020 (twenty-twenty) - will contain the individual digits' lowest total since nine years ago, in 2011. It will al...
Read full storySanta Putin
Sung by Donald Trump, in his negligee. Santa Putin, just slip some oppo on Joe Biden, For me. Been a really useful tool, Santa Putin, So hurry down my chimney tonight. Santa Putin, the 2020 election too, For my coup. I'll wait up for you d...
Read full storyNashville Man Secretly Thinks World Has Gone Crazy
Although Ray McGowan of Nashville, Tennessee, doesn’t like to ruffle feathers or cause offense, he admitted to secretly thinking that the modern world has gone a little crazy. “More than a little, if I’m really truthful,” he said. “Just between yo...
Read full storyBrian Clough Has Risen From The Dead
The former Derby County and Nottingham Forest manager, Brian Clough, who many in those areas held to be immortal, died in 20, but may have gone beyond the realms of mere mortals and come back to life - as the Secretary of State for Wales, Simon Hart.
Read full storyAre You Fit for the Cross? Nashville Church Launches Christian CrossFit
"Are you fit for the Cross?" is the motto of the new fitness program known as Christian CrossFit, which largely entails hauling a six-foot-tall wooden cross up a hill in high heat. "You get a real workout, and you also get to appreciate the sacrif...
Read full storyGreta on Prince Andrew's radar
HRH Prince Andrew, the Duke of York, currently eighth in line of succession to the throne, has expressed warm approval and admiration for the efforts of the Swedish schoolgirl and climate activist, Greta Thunberg. "Yes, a marvellous creature. High...
Read full storyFallon Sherrock Injects Some Glamour Into The Sport Of Darts
Fallon Sherrock, one of only two women to make it into the 96-player PDC World Darts Championship in London, has made history by winning her first round tussle - with a man. There was more to it than that, though. Sherrock, 25, and a bit of a d...
Read full storyManchester United Half-and-Half Scarves Were Made By Idiots
Whatever your own personal feelings are towards 'half-and-half scarves' - those tacky scarves made up of both teams' colours - you can imagine the fake disappointment felt by fans of Colchester United when they turned up for their historic match with...
Read full storyManchester City Fan To Be Banned From Pulling His Trousers Up
Anthony Burke, the Manchester City supporter who is accused of gesticulating to a Manchester United player, and making monkey chants, but who denied this, and said he was just pulling his trousers up, has been banned from pulling his trousers up.
Read full storyMan Can't Seem To Get Rid Of Phlegm From His Chest
A man who has been suffering from some kind of virulent Asian 'flu for more than three weeks now, has admitted that, despite taking various medicines to lower the fever, provide pain relief, and to loosen the breathing-restrictive matter on his lungs...
Read full storyMichael Buble CDs to become Legal Tender
Following high-level discussions in Parliament, with talks of a post-Brexit financial catastrophe, politicians have revealed that Michael Buble CDs will become legal tender in 2020. The CDs often kept following divorces, and relationship breakups,...
Read full storyNew York Writer Realizes She Must Have Genuine Love of Writing Because She's Definitely Not Getting Anything Else Out of It
Charlotte Bonner of New York City, who spends her days doing a Manhattan office grind and her evenings working on short stories, blog posts and a novel-in-progress, none of which have ever garnered her any professional attention let alone financial r...
Read full storyToddler savaged by government watchdog
There were calls for changes to The Dangerous Bureaucrats Act last night, after a 3-year-old girl was admitted to Great Ormond Street Hospital suffering from wounds inflicted by a Government Watchdog that had been left free to roam in a London Park.
Read full storySix-Year-Old Prefers Santa Claus to Jesus
While not opposed to celebrating baby Jesus’s birthday, six-year-old Liam Fitzpatrick of St. Augustine, Florida, stated that, overall, he prefers Santa Claus to Jesus. “With Santa Claus, I get to make a whole list, and I usually get a lot of what...
Read full storySanta Claus Considering Sending In Sick Note
Santa Claus, the maker of children's dreams the world over every year on December 25th, is on the verge of creating a huge controversy this festive season, after it was revealed he is tired, overworked, and considering sending in a sick note. Sant...
Read full storyMan Utd v. Tottenham: Spurs Favourites To Take All Three Points
It's the big game at Old Trafford tonight, and former Manchester United manager, Jose Mourinho, is back for the first time since he was sacked from the job a year ago. This time, however, it's with Tottenham Hotspur, the team that trounced his Un...
Read full storyMan In Dispute With Wife, Over Motorbike
A man has revealed details of a dispute he is having with his wife, over her daughter - his step-daughter - riding their motorbike. The daughter/step-daughter is only 13 years old, and cannot legally be in charge of a motor vehicle anywhere on the...
Read full storyManchester City Fan Accused Of Racism Is, Himself, Descended From Apes
A Manchester City supporter accused of making monkey noises directed towards Manchester United player, Fred, in Sunday's local derby, is himself descended from apes, it's been reported. Anthony Burke, 41, has been arrested by police, and is curren...
Read full storyMan Went To Bed In Tracksuit, Scarf And Ski Hat
A cold snap that he was ill-prepared for resulted in one man going to bed last night clad in his tracksuit, big, thick football socks, a scarf, and a ski hat. Moys Kenwood, 56, a resident in Tapon commune, usually retires for the night in a T-shir...
Read full storyTories Wreck EastEnders Christmas Show Script After Surprise Election Result
BBC bosses are, this morning, running around in a frenzy, after the surprise General Election result left the producers of the channel's miserable soap drama, 'EastEnders', caught them off-guard, and ruined the Christmas Special show, which hinged on...
Read full storyTrump ID’s Whistleblower: Obama’s Mother In Law Was Trojan Horse
BILLINGSGATE POST: Not since Odysseus snuck into Troy in a wooden horse has such an audacious plot been attempted. In a replay of this mythological ploy of skullduggery, Marian Lois Robinson, mother of Michelle Obama, was identified by President Tr...
Read full storyTrump Socks It To Nancy Pelosi
BILLINGSGATE POST: Trump socks it to Nancy Pelosi. As a token of Christmas giving, President Trump sent The Speaker of the House a pair of his favorite socks to hang over the mantle of her fireplace to commemorate his impeachment. He attached th...
Read full storyJoe Rogan Secretly Yearns to Go Vegan but Fears Alienating Fans
Sources report that comic and podcast show host Joe Ragan, known for his protein-pounding, bow-hunting ways, secretly yearns to go vegan, but fears alienating his meathead fans. "It's not just a marketing thing," said one inside source. "He's gen...
Read full storyNashville Poet Narrowly Escapes Drowning in Stream of Consciousness
Weary of trite rhymes and predictable turns of phrase, poet Walter O'Malley of Nashville, Tennessee, decided to try his hand at free-form verse, only to narrowly avoid drowning in a stream of consciousness. "I just thought I'd dip my toe in and ge...
Read full storyCockerel Broke Duckling's Legs, So Man Dealt With It
There was high drama in one back garden in southeast Asia this morning, after a confrontation between a huge cockerel and a much smaller duckling left the latter with two broken legs. The cockerel, which stood around two feet tall, took issue with...
Read full storyNashville Man Decides to Cut Himself Some Slack
"I don't tend to try very hard at things, so I never thought I could be a perfectionist," said Dave Bagwell of Nashville, Tennessee. "But I realized I had it backwards - my standards were so ridiculously high that I didn't think there was even any po...
Read full storyThe Spoof Guide to making a generic feel good Christmas Film
With the Christmas channel seemingly starting to broadcast films from mid-March, they have a serious number of hours to film with cheap, made-for-television films. It can be a lucrative market, particularly if it is shown during the day in November,...
Read full storyNew set of love letters between Trump and Kim exposed by disturbed CIA whistleblower
In a dramatic follow-up to impeachment articles yesterday, new disclosures have appeared today. These may lead to retraction (and reconsideration) of House impeachment articles, so that Democrats may add further indications of Mr. Trump’s instabil...
Read full storyAsk Dr. Billingsgate: He Knows All, Sees All, Tells All
BILLINGSGATE POST: Dr. Billingsgate takes questions from vitally-concerned non-entities who wish to take advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to probe the innards of the good doctor’s inner-self: Dear Dr. B: You have been very critic...
Read full storyPelosi and Schumer unveil "artichokes" of impeachment
Nanny Pelosi and Upchuck Schumer, speaking on behalf of the “Democratic” Party, announced two "artichokes of impeachment" against President Donald Trump. “Today, in service of our party,” Pelosi said, “we are charging the president with having hig...
Read full storyChristmas Is On The Way
News is just now emerging that Christmas, the Christian festival that supposedly marks the birth of Jesus the Son of God, and is now celebrated around the world by giving each other various unwanted gifts, is coming. If this wasn't bad enough, the...
Read full storyMan not watching Home Alone II
It is has been revealed that a man in Numpty, Winnipeg, won't be watching Home Alone II because it stars President Donald Trump. The film, in which two thieves chase a young child, who caused them nothing but pain once before, through the tourist...
Read full storyNeil Shipperley Is A Wanker
The world of football, and of sport, in general, was alive with condemnation tonight for the former Chelsea, Crystal Palace, Southampton, Nottingham Forest, Sheffield United, Barnsley and Wimbledon centre-forward, Neil Shipperley, who, it turns out,...
Read full storyThe 'Teflon Don' Gang Bunkers Down In The Washington Senate Building
A creepy figure creeps along the side of the long, white stone building, avoiding the lights, embracing the shadows. He was searching for the secret entrance his co-conspirators had informed him of. Finally locating it he carefully, quietly pulled it...
Read full storyBoxing Fan Stunned To Discover Fighter's Entire Career Wasn't Real
A boxing fan from Philadelphia who closely followed the progress of a former Heavyweight champion of the world, says he was stunned to learn that the entire saga of the 'rags-to-riches' pugilist is not real, and is merely the fabrication of somebody'...
Read full storyManchester United: Ole Gunnar Solskjaer Will Be History If United Lose To Another Shit Team
Manchester United manager, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, has been told that he should tidy his desk and prepare his locker for a full clear-out, because if United lose to just one more shit team, he will be out of the club on his ear. Solskjaer was made t...
Read full storyNew York Office Worker Leads Rich Inner Life
Although her day job doing data entry at a Mahattan financial services firm is not glamorous, exciting, or even remotely interesting, internally speaking, Laura Driscoll of New York City leads a life that's second to none. "It's so much fun!" said...
Read full storyMacron and Trump compete over “brain dead” and other matters
On the heels of an unsavory moment with Mr. Macron, Mr. Trudeau, and Mr. Johnson at the G-7 summit in London, Mr. Trump has angrily denied he will give a closing press conference. Recently, Mr. Macron is on record as having said NATO is “brain de...
Read full storyNew Type Of Vampire Discovered (And They Are In Your Bank!)
A new, terrifying species of vampire has been discovered that has begun a feeding frenzy throughout the world. The horrifying part is that it haunts the least likely of places - your local bank! This vampire is a new one for the books - it feeds n...
Read full storyTrump Denies Rumors that He's Been Impeached
Blasting the liberal-leaning media for propagating "fake news," United States President Donald Trump denied rumors that he had been impeached. The president went on to announce that he would soon be taking a trip to Ukraine to do some last-minute...
Read full storyCharleston Man Urges Reinstatement of Slavery for Canines
Speaking out against the - in his view - overly sentimental pet-parent culture that's pervaded much of the United States, Brett Gallatin of Charleston, South Carolina, is advocating for the reinstatement of slavery for domestic canines. "I'm not a...
Read full storyWorld Leaders Become Gossip Girls At NATO Conference
Professional two-faced gossip girl, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau of Canada, was caught on mic with other NATO world leaders, mocking President Trump's impromptu press conference, but there were more tidbits caught on hidden microphones at the recept...
Read full storyArsenal Mikel Arteta Statement Expected Today
After what has seemed like an eternity in football terms, Arsenal have said they will make a statement regarding Manchester City assistant coach, Mikel Arteta, later today, though it's not known what the statement will say. Earlier this week, City...
Read full storyPrince Andrew To Cut All Ties With Prince Andrew
After yesterday's news that Prince Andrew had been advised to submit himself to making legal testimony before a US court, and with more and more of the Duke of York's business associates disassociating themselves from him and his projects, the Prince...
Read full storyNashville Man Does a Total Three-Sixty
Discontented with life as usual, Bertram Harvest of Nashville, Tennessee, did a total about-face, followed by another, ending up in precisely where he had started. “What goes around comes around,” said Harvest. “In this case, it was me.” Accord...
Read full storyJeremy Corbyn Underestimated The Sheer Stupidity Of The Public
Labour Party leader, Jeremy Corbyn, has said he had underestimated the stupidity of the voting public, and will move quickly to remedy this, by resigning his post in the next few weeks. Corbyn said that, despite all the online jokes and memes at h...
Read full storyPrince Louis Learns To Speak With The Help Of Gordon Ramsay
Royal tot, Prince Louis, has learned to speak his first few words in the English language, thanks to the help of TV celebrity cook, Gordon Ramsay. His mum, Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge, says that Louis, 19 months, who can already speak Lati...
Read full storyArt Lover Eats Mona Lisa's Banana
At a recent Miami art show, a newly discovered Leonardo da Vinci sketch of Mona Lisa eating a banana sold for $1,200,000. But before the piece could be transferred to the new owners, a man posing for a selfie with the newly discovered work of the mas...
Read full storyDuckling Now Doing Much Better, Thank You For Asking
A duckling that was the victim of a callous and unprovoked attack by a cockerel not yet two weeks ago, (TheSpoof.com 9 Dec) is making a rather splendid recovery, and is now able to stand on its own two feet again. The cockerel had attacked the muc...
Read full storyMan Feels He Is Being Pressured Into Getting An Arab Girlfriend
Meeting a new partner can be a delicate matter, and one that shouldn't be taken lightly. Imagine the feelings, then, of one man, who was confronted with an online advertizement that, he says, put him under pressure to get an Arabic girlfriend. Moy...
Read full storyMan's Father-in-law Has Become Nocturnal
A man has revealed how his father-in-law has taken the unusual step of refusing to go to bed at bedtime, and staying up all night, then sleeping right through the next day, instead. Moys Kenwood, 56, a resident of Tapon commune in Battambang, clai...
Read full storyPrince Andrew Denies Ever Having Met The Queen
After a series of sketchy denials that were, quite frankly, somewhat difficult to believe, Prince Andrew has issued his most dramatic denial yet this afternoon, when he denied ever having met his mother, the Queen. Andrew, also known as the Duke o...
Read full storyBoy Fell Into Patch Of Nettles
A boy who was playing in a back tenfoot with his friends back in 1970, has related, years later, how, whilst sitting precariously on a neighbour's fence, he fell off it, and into a rather large patch of nettles, which stung like fuck. Wearing only...
Read full storyGreen Light Means Maybe in Nashville
While drivers in more "Type A" cities can scarcely be bothered to stop at red traffic lights, let alone yellow ones, the more laid-back city of Nashville, Tennessee, has gained a reputation for its drivers' tendencies to stop at, and often even sit t...
Read full storyTop 10 Reasons Nasty Pelosi Didn't Turn Over Articles of Impeachment for Senate Trial
Washington D.C. - This week, Democrats fulfilled their over-three-year-long dream by passing two articles of Impeachment against President Trump. A journey proclaimed the day he was inaugurated, and even voted on by the House of Representatives three...
Read full storyNashville Man Notes that Sun Also Sets but Appreciates Hemingway's Positivity
Ian McNee of Nashville, Tennessee, couldn't help but note that, in addition to coming up every day as documented in Ernest Hemingway's classic The Sun Also Rises, the sun sets without fail every night, but he appreciates Hemingway's intentional focus...
Read full storyFrustrated Part-Time Coworkers Find Proper Way To Vent, Successfully Communicate Feelings, And Reach Ultimate Understanding
Midwest, United States. On the morning of Tuesday, December 10th, Biff Spud, 47, finally grew tired of Nathan Harbor's bullshit, as well as the lack of enthusiasm he was displaying for his job. Sensing that the part-time, 39-year-old administra...
Read full story1, 2, 3, Impeach
Simple as one, two, three, impeach! Of course, Trump abused his power of office by holding back $400 million in defensive weapons for Ukraine. Ukraine was in the middle of a battle with Russia. Congress had already appropriated the $400 million.
Read full storyTeenager won't make up his mind about the new Star Wars films until the Internet does
Thomas Johnson, the son of Gary, and one of Chutney on the Fritz's more 'with it' teenagers, has decided that he won't make up his mind about whether or not he likes 'The Rise of Skywalker' until the internet decides for him. The fourteen-year-old...
Read full storyDesperate FDA Authorizes Two Christmas Cookies per Day during Holiday Season
Desperate to prevent Americans from ignoring its half-hearted health recommendations altogether, the Food and Drug Administration authorized eating up to two Christmas cookies per day for the duration of the holiday season. "We encourage people to...
Read full storyMan Could Die Any Minute
There were severe concerns, last night, for the welfare of a foreign man living in an area of the world which some have described as being "out of his comfort zone", and fears that he could, quite literally, die at any moment. The man in question...
Read full storyNew Dating Reality Show Features a Lot of People Sitting Around Texting
A new, refreshingly true-to-life dating reality show called AuthenCity features an eclectic cast of single men and women who largely just sit around and do a lot of texting. "It can be tough to get any really good action shots," said cameraman Wes...
Read full storyFamily Already Have Christmas Tree Up!
It's been reported by a Neighbourhood Community Vigilante Action Group in Sheffield, South Yorkshire, that a family on the city's Woodhouse Estate have already put up Christmas decorations outside their house - despite there still being more than 362...
Read full storyPelosi starts impeachment proceedings against ALL Senate Republicans
Following the House impeachment of Mr. Trump yesterday, Speaker Pelosi has lost no time in follow-up activity. First, she indicates there will be delay in getting House impeachment articles to the Senate, because so far the senate process does not...
Read full storyMan Didn't Vote In Election
A man has revealed how he decided not to seize the opportunity of casting his vote in the UK General Election yesterday, and went to work instead. Myke Woodson told friends that he really couldn't care less what happened in the election, and hoped...
Read full storyUS Women Astronauts Set Space Records But Lack Reproduction Rights On Earth
A 40-year-old electrical engineer broke the 288-day record set by a former female space station commander in 2016-2017. The engineer is planning to spend a total of 328 days aboard the space station before returning to Earth. She has an additiona...
Read full storyWhy not try Big Game Hunting in 2020?
It has risen massively in popularity during 2019, especially among people with too much time and money on their hands who really, really love animals. Why not go to Africa and have a go at "The Big Five"? Geoff Arse is a professional tour guide in...
Read full story"H.R. 666 - Minority Report Future Crimes Protection Act" soon to be introduced in Congress
Washington, D.C. - After passing the House Judiciary Committee last Friday, the articles of impeachment of President Trump will be voted on by the U.S. House of Representatives Wednesday or Thursday. Democrats have called the vote historic. Yes, hist...
Read full storyPure as the driven snow competes with peculiar stench over Washington
Reports continue that occupants of the Washington D.C. area have been distracted by a mysterious odor, difficult to identify. Apparatus to cover the mouth and nostrils--plus gas masks--is seeing an uptick in sales this holiday season. The comme...
Read full storyLocal man slavers visibly during machine gun fantasy about noisy supermarket family
A 54-year-old Whitechapel man found himself salivating during a trip to his local Lidl supermarket, as he fantasised about scything down a noisy family in the shop with an old fashioned Tommy Gun. Toby Dell, a forklift truck engineer, had to wipe...
Read full storyToy Shop Recalls Action Man Figures In 'War Crimes' Fiasco
A major toy retailer has recalled millions of play figures after announcing that it had charged Action Man, the toy soldier with gripping hands, and realistic hair and beard, with war crimes against humanity. Toys-R-Bust say the toy, originally cr...
Read full storyNashville Man Tries Being Himself but Quickly Gets Confused
Fed up with feeling like a poser, Ryan Cosgrove of Nashville, Tennessee, tried just being himself but found that things quickly got confusing. "To thine own self be true was going to be my motto," said Cosgrove. "But it ended up being kind of a s*...
Read full storyWhere’s Ruthie? Ginsburg’s Dead, But Nobody Knows It
BILLINGSGATE POST: In the National Lampoon’s movie “Vacation,” the deceased corpse of Aunt Edna toured the USA tied to the rack of a 1979 Ford LTD driven by Clark Griswold in the family’s iconic vacation trip to Wally World. Where’s Ruthie? The...
Read full storyFootball Fan Abuse
A football team has turned the tables on abusive fans, as they booed a section of their home support at the final whistle. Siddrington Town, who play in the 15673rd tier of English football, turned on their support at the end of a dismal 0-0 draw...
Read full storyChickadees: Taking A Cold Edge Off Your Chisel
BILLINGSGATE POST: In a campaign speech to 23 farmers stuffed in a corn silo in Pocahontas, Iowa, Democrat candidate Joe Biden told the gathered hay shakers that he fully supported the conversion of corn to ethanol, even though it didn’t make economi...
Read full storyTwelve Days of Impeachment
Washington, D.C. - After a marathon Thursday session of the U.S. House Representatives Judiciary Committee, known as the Impeachment Markup Hearing, a vote on two articles of impeachment against President Donald Trump was postponed until Friday morni...
Read full storyMan Successfully Deprogrammed Trumpist Cult Followers With Neuralyzer Prop From “Men In Black” Movie
Culver City, California - A local man who worked on the "Men In Black" movie series was able to bring several brainwashed devotees of cult leader Donald Trump back to reality by simply flashing a neuralyzer prop that he kept as a memento of his work...
Read full storyAnti-boxing man held for domestic violence
A 45-year-old man who regularly speaks out against the sport of professional boxing, was last night arrested at his home and charged with assaulting his wife. Neighbours raised the alarm when a heated argument between the couple developed into v...
Read full storyEarring Manufacturers produces gene to give Humans 6 Ears
In an interesting development in the meshing world of manufacturing and genetics, where the two are teaming up to to improve demand, no longer will extra earrings rely on body piercings! Extra ears are on the way! You can even choose to have ears lik...
Read full storyRudolph Files Anti-Bullying Suit Against All the Other Reindeer
North Pole. Woof Blister reporting for SIN - Spoof International News. Following his great success as Santa's lead reindeer, and despite the heroic reception he subsequently received from his peers, Rudolph has charged all the other reindeer with bul...
Read full storyAssange removal program fully explained
There ARE laws against many actions, which citizens here and there around the world may be unaware of. *If a company leaves its manual for how to create a product lying around on the sidewalk, you must not pick it up and sell it to one of that com...
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