There were 223 spoof news stories published in September 2014. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Bedbug Riding The NYC Subway Interviewed
Learning that bedbugs have been found in the subway, spoof reporter Gail Farrelly recently set out to get the skinny by interviewing a bedbug living in a Manhattan subway car. What follows are a few of Farrelly's questions and the bedbug's replies. WHY LIVE IN THE SUBWAY? it's better than being homeless. And the convenience to citywide transportation is a plus. FAVORITE SONG? Duke Elling...
Read full storyIce Bucket Shortage Plagues U.S.
Okay, the ice bucket challenge HAS been a boon to ALS research. But how about the poor folks who are just in need of ice buckets? Y'know, like to carry ice. They're out of luck! There's not an ice bucket to be had. They're all being used for The...
Read full storyIrate Raccoon Booted out of Bronx Beauty Supply Store
"No way to treat a lady," the startled raccoon complained. She continued, "I was just stocking up on some manicure and pedicure supplies and minding my own business when some dames, clutching boxes of beauty supplies, started screeching at the si...
Read full storyShia LaBeouf Apologies For Being A Cunt
American actor and director Shia LaBeouf announced today that he would like to apologize to the whole world for being a total and utter cunt, and acknowledges that he is in fact a complete tool and deserves "a dam good hiding". LeBeouf, who is 28,...
Read full storyConservatives Join Hunt for iCloud Hacker After Nude Pics of Nancy Pelosi, Others Surface
Los Angeles, CA - The now infamous and anonymous iCloud hacker, responsible for releasing nude and semi-nude photos of celebrities, now has a new enemy to add to his list - Conservatives. The initial release of risqué pics featuring attractive celebr...
Read full storyEngland Set To Vote Scotland Out of The Union - USA May Want To Consider Voting Out Georgia
The main UK party leaders are urging the English to campaign to have Scotland removed from the Union and to force Scottish people to stop calling themselves British. Prime Minister David Cameron and Labour leader Ed Miliband will abandon their wee...
Read full storyJeff Lynne 'Oasis are Shit'!
ELO frontman Jeff Lynne has launched an astonishing attack on 90s sensations Oasis calling the band and their music 'shit'. In an interview with Rolling Rock magazine, Lynne says Noel Gallagher is a 'Jessie', and 'a talentless one at that'. 'T...
Read full storyJapanese Use Stem Cells to Recreate Godzilla, Threaten New Pearl Harbor With Nuclear Fire Breathing Dinosaurs
Tokyo, Japan Japan showed its true colors today as the island republic announced that they have created a nuclear fire breathing gigantic dinosaur lizard named Godzilla and that they might not be able to stop him once he starts heading toward the sun...
Read full storyPhotos Of Celebrities Taking Leaks On Internet Shocker
Around 20 celebrities, including actress Jennifer Lawrence, had images of themselves taking leaks posted on image posting website 4Chan. Mary Elizabeth Winstead (whoever she is) said the images of her were old - and were snapped when she was taki...
Read full storyBrad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's '$400m superyacht' purchase is a spoof says shipyard
New York - "These guys just don't have that kind of spare cash lying around," a spokesperson for SuperMegaYachts.com said today, "the whole dumb story is a pile of crap." The rebuttal comes after an Irish Sunday newspaper claimed Brad and Ange had...
Read full storyHadrian's Wall To be Re-Built In Attempt To Keep Starving Scottish Out Of England If They Go It Alone
The British government has begun drawing up secret plans to rebuild Hadrian's Wall - the wall built by the Roman's to keep marauding Scot's out of England - to prevent starving undocumented Scottish people from entering England. If Scotland's vote...
Read full storyAfter So Many 'Petite Little Women' have been Assaulted by Players, NFL Plans to Recruit from the U.S.'s State Prison Systems
NFL spokesman Roger Allovem says he's tired of the mamby-pamby wannabe tough guiys whose claim to fame is beating up little women who weigh less than 120 pounds. From now on, Allovem says the NFL won't be looking to the NCAA Division I teams as...
Read full story"Most Remarkable and Kindest Person You Would Wish To Meet" Dies Again
For the 700th time this year "The Most Remarkable and Kindest Person You Would Wish To Meet" has sadly died. This comes after the recent 475th death of "He was a great Man" and comes hot on the heals of the tragic demise of "He was the best son ev...
Read full storyMasturbation Police May Be Necessary
Joni Ernst, the GOP candidate for the U.S. Senate in Iowa today spoke about the "sanctity of sacred sperm." "While it is true that a fertilized egg is a person, which is my position that certainly outlaws abortion in the cases of rape or incest,...
Read full storyTake The NYC:IQ Quiz... How New Yorkish Are You?
New Yorkers are made, not born. So no matter where you come from, you can make the greatest city in the world your hometown. Take this quiz to find out how close you are. And remember to pick up after your pooch. It's the law! 1. What was the real reason Michael Bloomberg banned Big Gulp drinks? A. His fear of drowning. B. Can't "hold it in" as well as he used to. C. Confused corn syru...
Read full storyApple launches iPhone 6 with holographic Caller ID Image
Cupertino, California - A full-screen sized hologram of Caller Identity Images will be popping up each time Apple's swish new all-bells-and-whistles iPhone 6 gets an incoming or makes an outgoing call. And a new voice-over feature will see hologr...
Read full storyChurch of Scamatology Creates New Scientific Method
Clearly Criminal, FL The Church of Scamatology, in an interview about some of the scientific principles of Scamatology, The ecclesiastical head of the church, Little Davy Makemerich, outlined the new scientific methods that Scamatology has created an...
Read full storyPretentious Scientists Deny Existence of Tangle Fairy: Roadies Outraged, Archbishop Conciliatory
Distraught and tear-stricken roadies have never doubted the existence of the wicked imp that tangles perfectly-laid guitar and sound cables when rock bands are touring. It's always a disappointment to find your immaculately-placed equipment all messe...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Dominican Republic Ban Sidetracks Golfing NATO Leaders
The Miley Cyrus ban by the Dominican Republic is sidetracking the conversation at the NATO summit currently being held at the Celtic Manor Golf Resort in Newport, Wales, the home of the 2010 Ryder Cup won by Europe 14 ½ to 13 ½ when Hunter Mahan yip...
Read full storyChurch of Scamatology Says It Can Prove Clams Were the First Life
Clearwater, FL The Church of Scamatology announced today that they had solid scientific proof that the first life on Earth were clams. Most scientists, and consequently science books, have apparently missed this major fact. The Scamatologist's sci...
Read full storyEdinburgh Zoo's panda on medical marijuana program after 'losing' cub
Edinburgh, Scotland - Feckless time-wasting panda Tian Tian has been accused of faking yet another pregnancy despite a certificate of fecundity from keepers at Shanghai Zoo from which she is on loan. Scottish veterinarians had become convinced the...
Read full storySeat Recline Fight Diverts Another Flight - Forces One Airline Into Allowing Only Amputees to Fly
After yet another US flight was diverted; due to an argument about reclining seats and legroom one airline says enough is enough and has taken the unusual step of ONLY transporting passengers without legs. In the third serious airline legroom inci...
Read full storyJeter's Retirement Spells Doom For Franchise
Ask anyone who the "all-star" of the Bronxville, NY Yankee Auto Parts is, and they'll tell you: Bob Jeter. Jeter, 65, is retiring at the end of this month after 40 memorable years at the branch. Working his way up the chain from gasket salesman to...
Read full storyNavratilova upstages Djokovic and Nishikori at U. S. Open
ONLY IN AMERICA - Martina Navratilova, known as much for her lesbianism as for her tennis, upstaged both Novak Djokovic and Keri Nishikori at the U. S. Open when Navratilova proposed to her long-time girlfriend, Julia Lemigova." The magic mome...
Read full storyNFL's Goodell Speaks On New Peterson Revelation
Minnesota Vikings Adrian Peterson, already facing felony charges in Texas for child abuse, was accused in a separate incident involving another son who was 4 years old. In that case Peterson inflicted a head wound on his son, who was in a car seat,...
Read full storySmoking Not Bad For You Says Research
New research is suggesting that smoking is not dangerous, does not cause strokes, heart disease or lung cancer and, in some cases, may improve quality of life and increase lifespan. The study and research, carried out by a conglomeration of scient...
Read full storyNFL Mandates Owners To Develop More Accurate Team Names
With the Washington Redskins under a great deal of pressure to change their team name, the National Football League has decided to address the issue by requiring owners to update their clubs' names to reflect the current realities of their communitie...
Read full storyMan's tight pants bend new iPhone6 into beautiful swan
Many early adopters of Apple's new iPhone6 are finding the lightweight aluminum frame combined with a tight pants pocket can actually cause the phone to bend. Users are noticing bending near more vulnerable spots, such as near the side-buttons.
Read full storyNude celebs' fans "on Cloud 9"
ALMOST HEAVEN -- Has-been celebrities, in an effort to generate publicity and reignite their flagging careers, claim to be "outraged" over nude photo spreads of themselves--and, in one case, at least--a sex tape that were allegedly stolen from a "hac...
Read full storyKKK: Underground Rap A-OK, but ONLY Underground Rap.
The Ku Klux Klan has made a somewhat peculiar (and not necessarily entirely sincere?) attempt to find black supporters and allies. They have stated that they prefer underground rap to mainstream gangster rap, as the following highly authentic and...
Read full storyInvisible Hamsters - Obama's Secret Anti Terror Weapon
In a stranger than fiction planned pre-emptive strike against radicalised Syrian terrorist hamsters, "Stealth" (or "invisible" hamsters) will be deployed to hunt and destroy war gerbils, white assassin mice and suicide bombing laboratory rats on the...
Read full storyKanye West suing CDC for use of "Ebola"
West Africa- Controversial Kanye West is filing a lawsuit against the CDC for their use of the word "Ebola." He is suing because he was led to believe that the news about Ebola spreading throughout Africa was actually referencing his first single whi...
Read full storyLimbaugh Hoisted Up On Own Petard
Speaking on Ohio State's new sexual assault policy, conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh had his own ideas of what consent to sex means. "How many guys, in your own experience with women, have learned that no means yes if you know how to spot it?...
Read full storyDC footballers change their logo to keep their name
Washington DC -- Under fire for long harboring a racially inappropriate team identity, this city's NFL franchise has changed its logo from the silhouette of a Native American warrior to the image of a potato. "This should make everybody happy," a...
Read full storyObama Found To Have Terrible Disease
WASHINGTON - President Barack Obama will consider sending US military advisers into combat in Iraq on a "case-by-case basis," said General Martin Dempsey, American military's top-ranking officer told senators on Tuesday. Dempsey indicated he had d...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Joins Insane Clown Posse
Detroit, MI Crazy clown duo, the Insane Clown Posse, whose followers include topless women and crazed looking guys called Juggalos, admitted new member Justin Bieber to the group. Justin Bieber says that he will start spraying people with Faygo P...
Read full storySean Hannidy Feuds With Jon Stuart
Sean Hannidy, Fox News' TV host, continued his feud with Comedy Central's Jon Stuart over who is the best comedian. Hannidy said his support of renegade, anarchist rancher Cliven Bundy "couldn't be funnier." "It's hilarious that he and his gu...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Rear Ends Dick Cheney
Washington, DC Canadian citizen Justin Bieber risked starting an international incident when he was driving his Ferrari and failed to stop in time to avoid hitting the rear of the Rolls Royce in front of him. The Rolls Royce was carrying ex-Vice-Pres...
Read full storyWar On Terror: ISIS Prisoners To Be Forced To Watch Gay Men Dancing
The US has announced drastic punishments for any member of ISIS caught on the battlefield or returning to America from Syria and Iraq - and the announcement has left many shocked with many would be terrorists reconsidering whether or not joining the...
Read full storyA New Mobile App for the Wives of Husbands with Wandering Eyes
"But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." KJV Matthew 5:28 Jesus knew it. Wives know it too. A man whose eyes are constantly wandering will often wander, s...
Read full storyObama Laughs At Founding Fathers
The framers of The U.S. Constitution were concerned about excessive power in both the Presidency and the military. So, under Article I Section 8, delegates to Congress the power to make war. But since World War II, Presidents have ignored Congress...
Read full storyBugger Queen to Slide Meat Between Tim Horny's Buns
U.S. fast food chain Bugger Queen, aided by a load of seed money from financier Warren Bummit, announced plans to penetrate the Canadian market by buying up coffee and dog nut chain Tim Horny's. "We're really pumped up over this", announced Bugger...
Read full storyScottish Independence - MacDisney Fairytale Park Bid For Scotland
The offer of $40Bn to turn Scotland into a MacDisney Theme Park with Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip as "fairy tale" Queen and King will not be accepted, a Scottish Nationalist claimed while addressing a meeting of the "What to do with Scotland" pa...
Read full storyHead Of ISIS Accidentally Beheaded
Ibrahim ibn Awwad ibn Ibrahim ibn Ali ibn Muhammad al-Badri al-Samarrai, more commonly known by his nom de guerre Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, or BIll, is the Caliph of the self-proclaimed Islamic State-previously the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (...
Read full storyMitt Romney's Re-animated Corpse to Run for President in 2048
WASHINGTON, D. C. (DP)-Mitt Romney, who died in 2028 at the age of eighty-one while running for president for the seventh time, is poised to give it another shot, advisors to the cryogenically frozen candidate reported today. Close advisors to...
Read full story11-Year-Old Attacks Obama In Schoolroom
President Obama, taking a break from his war against ISIS, visited Oakmont Charter School in VA. to show his support for innovative education. The school enrollees include children of diplomats, one of whom is 11-year-old extremely precocious Janna...
Read full storyOorah!!! DC NFL team to possibly become the few and the proud with rebranding
WASHINGTON, DC-In response to continuing criticism about his team's name, National Football League Commissioner Roger Goodell and Daniel Snyder, the owner of the Washington Redskins, are considering changing the name of Snyder's team to something mor...
Read full storyNew Fad - Young People Get iPhones Installed In Their Head Replacing Brains
In the latest cool trend to hit the streets masses of young people are getting their I-phones installed in their heads where their brains used to be. The popularity and 24 hour a day usage of Apples extremely popular gadget has brought about this new...
Read full storyNude celebrity statues to be added to Statuary Hall
WHITEWASHINGTON, AC/DC -- In 1864, Congress allowed each state to contribute two statues of prominent citizens to be displayed in the building's Statuary Hall. There were only two qualifications: the citizens to be so "honored" had to be white and ma...
Read full storyMavericks Owner Mark Cuban Defends NFL
Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban has given an impassioned defense of football at a Dallas news conference. In his opening statement he said that the NFL had more than 200 unique million viewers last season. "Hundreds of thousands of them were po...
Read full storyObama Is Unintelligent
WASHINGTON - President Obama has acknowledged that the NSA and The CIA had underestimated the rise of the Islamic State militant group, ISIS, which has seized control of a broad swath of territory in the Middle East. He said he "follows their advice...
Read full storyGay student won't stand in straight line
When Dylan White's 4th grade teacher, Cheryl Glands, asked him to stand in a straight line before gym class last week, he answered her: "No." White, who is openly homosexual, said he refuses to be, "Coerced into societally-constructed sexual comp...
Read full storyObama Has Rendezvous With Stones
Wiltshire, UK - Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Ronnie Wood and Charlie Watts were left high and dry at a famous London bar today as Barack Obama dropped by another ancient Brit monument to visit some very important stones. The President took time o...
Read full storyScotland poised to pay out millions if they say Yes
If the Scots votes Yes to an Independent Scotland in September, they are facing a huge bill from the rest of the UK. "We're going to charge the Scots for the cost of removing Scotland from the UK," said Boris Johnson, momentarily forgetting his us...
Read full storyRay Rice Scores Endorsement Deals For Dating Site, Workout Video
Baltimore, MD - Exiled NFL running back Ray Rice has landed a couple of endorsement deals in the wake of his humiliating firing from the Baltimore Ravens after video surfaced of him beating his future wife in an elevator months ago. Rice inked a d...
Read full storyOakland Raiderettes worth more than their weight in gold
LAND o' OAKS, CA - Known for their sleazy uniforms, the Oakland Raiderettes, who claim to be cheerleaders, have something to cheer about: they were awarded $125 million dollars in a lawsuit, agreeing to "settle" for representing the Raiders rathe...
Read full storyNew Year Celebrations To Last Until The Following Christmas Every Year After Scottish Independence
New Year celebrations in Scotland will last at least into March and probably through to Christmas each year in a stealthy plan by Scottish Nationalists to boost Whiskey Sales and T.V. advertising revenue. New Year, one of Scotland's most popular...
Read full storyTeen Nudity & Pornography - A Turn Off For Fashion Labels
Sex sells, conventional wisdom asserts, but, according to sales of fashion giant Aberzombie & Bitch, not so much. At least, not lately. Teens, it seems, have largely abandoned the clothing company known more for its nudity and pornographic...
Read full storyMissing Kim Jong-Un's Picture Appears on Milk Cartons All Over North Korea
Pynongyang, North Korea In shocking news, North Korean dictator continues to remain missing and his picture has started appearing on milk cartons yesterday all over North Korea. "The problem with having our beloved dictator's picture on milk carto...
Read full storyU.S. Should Bomb Isis Coming Into Tx. From Mexico
Polls just out indicate that a large majority of Americans 1) support air strikes on Isis; 2) A majority thinks that President Obama has not been "tough enough" on Isis, during a time that he is widely expanding the war; -- 3) A large majority opp...
Read full storyRavens new Ray Rice and wife promotion looks like a hit
To honor Ray Rice, the Baltimore Ravens will be giving away bobble head dolls of the star running back's wife. The dolls come with extra springs to heighten the hitting experience. Mark Conn, Ravens promotions director, feels the freebies will giv...
Read full storyWeather Forecaster Breaks Endurance Record on Television in Norway
Weather forecaster Eli Kari Gjengedali broke a world record for the longest forecast by riding atop a tornado which swirled from Atla, through Harstad where the tornado built up strength. It then carried her through Bodø, down through Saltfjellet-Sv...
Read full storyNSA Institutes New Program, MEMGONE
A program called "MEMGONE," which erases the political memory of the American people who watch, read, or hear the mass media as been instituted by the National Security Administration or NSA. Major newspapers, network and cable news are cooperating...
Read full storyRoyal Family Unhappy With The Scottish "Mess" - Drastic Action Needed - Prince Philip
In an unprecedented attack on the state of the Scottish coastline, Prince Philip told a meeting of Cartographers that Prince Charles had drawn up plans to Polyfill the crevices and uneven edges around the Scottish Coastline so that it would look neat...
Read full storyNew York Mayor Makes Political History by Offering Universal Pre-Kindergarten to Children and Retired Carriage Horses
New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio recently made political history by announcing that free universal pre-kindergarten will now be available to all four-year-old children - and to retired New York City carriage horses of any age. Citing the cruel a...
Read full storyFlorida Man Leaves Big Tip Then Tells Everyone About It So They Think He Is Awesome
Duncan Whitehead of Fort Lauderdale, Florida headed to a new restaurant in town to celebrate his birthday. What happened next caught the attention of the world. Despite a dining experience that "sucked," the generous man left a $2 tip for th...
Read full storyCongressional Inquiry Finds That Spending More Than You Make Can Contribute To Financial Difficulties
Washington D.C. - A recently concluded inquiry by a joint Senate and House committee has concluded that spending more money than you make could be a contributing factor to having financial difficulties. The inquiry lasted two years and cost an es...
Read full storyTechnology giant Apple sues apple farmers for using their name
Apple says apple farmers are breaching copyright laws by producing a fruit named after their company and plans to sue if farmers don't rename the fruit. Apple CEO Tim Crook who declined an interview is said to be even more upset at farmers after...
Read full storyThe Long-Awaited Arrival of the iPill
Cupofteanow, California (STT News) - With the recent and much-heralded arrival of the iPhone 6, there has also been a lot of speculation as to what lies ahead and, in that future, how far we will be melded into the digital frontier. Apple spokesm...
Read full storyQueen Demands Alex Salmond's Head On A Pike
Despite carrying letters of safe conduct and passage to England, former Scottish first minister Alex Salmond was handed over to English soldiers at Robroyston near Glasgow late Friday night and has been transported to London on the orders of Queen El...
Read full storyPurring Queen Raises More Questions Than Answers
Reports that claim The Queen "purred" when David Cameron told her about Scotland's rejection of independence, have raised more questions than answers and have the British public demanding to know what sort of woman their Queen really is. The pri...
Read full storyRoger Goodell Steps Down; Interim Commissioner Ray Lewis to Let Ray Rice Play on Sunday
In a move that surprised no one but the world's biggest misogynists, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell resigned from his duties on Thursday afternoon. In a hastily called press conference, a tearful Goodell said he no longer felt he could make the b...
Read full storyStudy finds homeless people took home £3 million in bonuses last year
Research has found that many of the UK's homeless people are more well-off than previously thought. Despite collecting just pennies in their day job filling our streets, some them took home as much as £3 million in their end of year bonuses. "Man...
Read full storyBudget-Strapped Red States to Use Gladiatorial Fights to Raise Much-needed Funds for Infrastructure Repairs
RED STATE AMERICA--With so many states still strapped for funds after their Republican-led legislatures cut their budgets to the bone, and with gambling casinos and racinos no longer producing enough to make up for the deficit, some Red States are tr...
Read full storyScientists are setting world clocks according to nip slips and celebrity skin
The long standing method of using the Atomic clocks to set the world time pieces has been replaced by Kardashian sitings and other wardrobe malfunctions. Scientists at T.I.M.E, The Institue for Meaningless Entertainment, have concluded that the ti...
Read full storyObese patient sues doctor for "inappropriate" weight comment
A doctor in Carlisle is being taken to court by one of his patients. During a meeting with a Dr Yimenez about his upcoming stomach-stapling surgery, the patient observed that the doctor had made one or two inappropriate comments about his weight.
Read full storyObummer: fighting words for ISIS
EURO -- Away on yet another taxpayer-funded trip, President Barack Obummer has taken a stronger stance than he has to date concerning the terrorist army ISIS that is committing atrocities at will throughout the Middle East and that recently beheaded...
Read full storyWhole lotta twerkin' goin' on!
BENNINGTON, VT - Students--especially coed students--at Bennington, VT's, Catholic academy, Mount Anthony Union High School, really know how to "get down"--and their principal, Susie Q. Maguire is not happy about her student body's fancy moves. In...
Read full storyGoodell: NFL Mistakenly Viewed Erin Andrews Peephole Video in Ray Rice Case
MANHATTAN -- Commissioner Roger Goodell has acknowledged that the NFL mistakenly viewed the Erin Andrews peephole video when originally trying to determine appropriate discipline in the domestic violence case against former Baltimore Ravens running b...
Read full storyMel Gibson Says He Can Beat Hillary
Mel Gibson, the controversial and successful actor, said today that he could easily beat Hillary Clinton in the presidential election of 2016. Using phrases that have gotten him national attention in the past he said, "Hillary was born with light...
Read full storySkincare manufacturer to sell lotion bottle with built-on screen for porn-viewing
Junguns Skincare Products announced that they will soon release lotion that comes in a bottle with a 4 ½ high-definition screen attached to it. Additionally, the bottles will have audio and Wi-Fi capabilities. They will be an industry first and ar...
Read full story64% of Colorado cannabis users don't remember where they put their pot, says study
According to a recent study by the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment, 64% of the state's cannabis users can't remember where they put their pot. 30 people, who admitted to recreational marijuana use at least once day, were anal...
Read full storyNew Shakespeare Maths For Schools
The Government is introducing a new programme for schools, starting this week. A mix up somewhere in the Ministry of Education has led to the ideas for Maths and Literature being confused. Former Minister of Education, Michael Guv, explained that...
Read full storyMust Return To Slave Etiquette Says Angela
A recent report shows that Police officers, security guards, or self- appointed vigilantes extra judicially killed at least 313 African-Americans in 2012, according to a recent study. This means a policeman or security officer killed a black person e...
Read full storyThefts reveal retail giant's plans to sell "adults-only items"
BUG TUSSLE, AK -- Despite its treatment of its employees, many of whom receive minimum wages and no health or other benefits, Mallwart has the reputation, whether deserved or not, of being a "family-friendly" retailer. However, in the wake of rece...
Read full storyBonita Jackson spouts kiddie tough love garbage
Spring, Texas - "When ya whoop someone you love, it's about love," the mother of benched Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson said today as pics of her grandson's injuries went viral on the web. "That's how to prepare them for the real w...
Read full storyU.K's Prince Philip Looking Forward To Shooting Syrian Hamsters
With Syria on the shortlist for counter terrorist strikes, Syrian war hamsters, or Golden Martyrs are being radicalised and trained by I.S. executioners to gnaw off the heads of sleeping American and British aid workers according to Spoof's secret A...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Buys Kim Jong-Un's Comic Book Collection From Craigslist
Pyongyang, North Korea Pop star and professional law-breaker Justin Bieber has contacted roly-poly dictator Kim Jong-Un and purchased his massive comic book collection off from Craigslist. The icing on the cake was supposedly Kim throwing in an autog...
Read full storyOnce Again Grief, Sadness And Anger - Then Thousands Of Comments On Social Media As Joan Rivers Dies - Meanwhile Ebola & Terror Grips Planet
Social media was a buzz with outpourings of immense grief, a sense of universal loss and then feelings of anger; after it was announced comedienne Joan Rivers, had died. She was 81. I will say that again...she was fucking 81. "Devastated" t...
Read full storyThief in red van steals letters from post boxes
POLICE have launched a man-hunt following the theft of letters and parcels from postal Pillar Boxes across the UK. Members of the public reported to Police a red van drawing up at double yellow lines, shortly vacated by a blue-capped man in his 40...
Read full storyJustin Bieber and Miley Cyrus Form Group To Allow Everyone to Be Naked All the Time
Hollywood, CA Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus, two celebrities known for being naked in public, have come out for total nudity, all the time. "Wearing clothes is just yucky" said Cyrus, the former Hannah Montana, who has been trying to ditch the squ...
Read full storyLocal Teen Wants More People To Not Get Him: Wants to be more mysterious
Cumberland, MN - A local teenager is frustrated that not more people don't get him and don't consider him a brooding deep-thinker who they find intriguingly mysterious. Austin Smithers, 17, who is a junior at Walter Mondale High School in Cumberl...
Read full storySarah Palin Sues Church of Scamatology
Wassilly, Alaska Former governor of Alaska Sarah Palin was dismayed when trying to enter the Celebrity Centre of the L.A. branch of the Church of Scamatology. "They told me I wasn't a celebrity!" shouted Palin. "I said, 'Do you know who the #@%$ I...
Read full storyFast-food customers safe "for now"
DEE TROIT, MI - Disgruntled fast-food workers have united, in Dee Troit, of all places, walking off their jobs in support of unionization, after union reps, armed with baseball bats and megaphones, promised them $15 and benefits for cleaning restroom...
Read full storyDespite Setting Off Store Alarm Man Allowed To Leave Store Unchallenged
Despite setting off his local grocery store's store alarm Wednesday, Fort Lauderdale shopper Duncan Whitehead was allowed to exit the store unmolested by the store's security staff who merely glanced at the exiting man before returning to doing nothi...
Read full storyAll Married Men Have Less Sex Than All Married Men
Blue Balls, WI - A group of researchers comprised of the best minds in modern physics have directly proved part of Albert Einstein's Theory of Relativity as it applies to human existence. The experiment and associated findings are focused on married...
Read full storyLondon vicar turns church into post office, quotes Euro/Sterling/US Dollar exchange rates for 30 Pieces Of Silver
London, UK - A North London vicar who has clearly never read the part of the New Testament about Jesus throwing the money changers out of the temple has opened up his own little bit of heaven in London NW6. The Rev Andrew Cain, vicar of St James'...
Read full story30 Foot Long Thousand Oaks Cobra 'Is Radioactive'
Thousand Oaks, LA - A 30 foot-long white cobra found menacing the streets of a LA suburb has tested radioactive according to reports. Tonight the deadly male serpent was being detoxed at a secret government laboratory amid fears a bulge in its abd...
Read full storyRas Al Khaimah Horticultural Society 'twinned with Colorado Springs Pot Club' says local gardening enthusiast
Ras Al Khaimah, UAE - A stunning floral bouquet that scooped the Ras Al Khaimah Horticultural Society Autumn Show first prize has been impounded by local police after testing positive for 100% Cannabis Sativa blossom. Distraught competitor Mrs Fa...
Read full storyThe iPhone 6: A Review
The new iPhone 6 (or 7 or 8 or maybe 9 we're not sure no-one tells us much these days) came out the other day (yeah we know we're behind with the story, shut up) with people queuing for up to ten days to buy one. Knowing we couldn't afford one and la...
Read full storyPremier League Deny Writing Own Scripts
English Premier League Chief Executive Richard Scudamore has came out today to strongly deny claims that the organisation have been employing Hollywood directors to script the outcome of matches. Following yesterday's incredible drama where Chelse...
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