Written by queen mudder

Saturday, 6 September 2014

image for 30 Foot Long Thousand Oaks Cobra 'Is Radioactive'
A hush-hush military program may be breeding these to attack Al Qaeda and their fan base

Thousand Oaks, LA - A 30 foot-long white cobra found menacing the streets of a LA suburb has tested radioactive according to reports.

Tonight the deadly male serpent was being detoxed at a secret government laboratory amid fears a bulge in its abdomen showed it 'had swallowed something nasty'.

"We're hoping it's not a vile (sic) of lethal Polonium 210," the curator of reptiles and amphibians at Los Angeles Zoo commented.

Apparently a container of the lethal stuff went missing last week from a nearby Pentagon weapons testing lab causing widespread hysteria all along the West Coast.

So when a 911 emergency call claimed a 'glow-in-the-dark' snake was on the loose at a Thousand Oaks shopping mall local FEMA agents were taking absolutely no chances.

Armed with electronic stun guns and a Geiger counter tricorder first responders fought the beast for over an hour before luring it out from the mall's storm drain.

"Could be a secret new weapon against Al Qaeda," the curator added, "just heard the military's breeding the critters to attack those damned Islamic State insurgents."

More toxicity tests follow early next week.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Snakes, Radioactive

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more