Gay student won't stand in straight line

Funny story written by rimisaC

Tuesday, 16 September 2014


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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When Dylan White's 4th grade teacher, Cheryl Glands, asked him to stand in a straight line before gym class last week, he answered her: "No."

White, who is openly homosexual, said he refuses to be, "Coerced into societally-constructed sexual compartments."

That response, according to the U.S. Department of Education, is the most complex sentence ever articulated by a 4th grader, giving Dylan yet another accolade in addition to him being the only kid his age who walks out of closets, instead of being afraid of them at night.

Other kids in White's 4th grade weren't sure what to make of their classmate's stand.

"What's ho-mo-sex-aul mean?" asked Timmy Smits, a fellow 4th grader of White's.

Denis White, Dylan's mother, was surprised to hear the news about her son. "I'm not sure if I'm more shocked that he's gay, or if that he knows what the word 'Coerced' means."

The most interesting response to all of this, though, came from Ron White, Dylan's father.

When asked how he's going to support such a political gay son, Mr. White replied: "Are you sure it's too late to get an abortion?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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