NSA Institutes New Program, MEMGONE

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Tuesday, 23 September 2014

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A program called "MEMGONE," which erases the political memory of the American people who watch, read, or hear the mass media as been instituted by the National Security Administration or NSA. Major newspapers, network and cable news are cooperating with the effort to induce collective senility.

The media will not have much to comply with as they presently rarely mention past news events and provide no framework of reference for current news events. We write this as the events in Ferguson fade into memory.

The following is a transcript of a conversation between officials of MEMGONE who discuss the importance of Americans not remembering facts about the President's decision to war on ISIS. An unknown "whistleblower" has released it to the Associated Press.

C. Colson: When it comes to ISIS in Iraq, It is difficult to think of any examples in history when a military almost a million strong, including 14 army divisions, have crumbled so immediately after attacks from an ISIS enemy force that was then estimated at between 3,000 and 5,000 strong. Jeez, fellows! Never happened, never happened, we'll see to that!

J. Erlichman: Right, baby, this fact - that the US not only assembled an army but a huge army, armed it with the latest equipment, and trained it, spent billions and billions on it, and watched it fall to pieces against ISIS - has to be treated as an irrelevancy in the mass media, a little something to be sucked down the memory hole. So, when the going gets tough, the tough. . .

H.R. Haldeman: Yeah, yeah John, we know, but this time says Obama, we're going to train an army, a huge army of 5,000, from various moderate Syrian terrorist groups on our side - oops, I meant freedom fighters - and this army, which will have had no experience, is going to be vastly well equipped, and it will just roll ISIS like a heavyweight KOing a featherweight. Well, it doesn't matter; when they get their Asses kicked no one will remember that That POTUS said this.

Collectively: [all chant] Down the memory hole! Down the memory hole! MEMGONE, MEMGONE!

C. Colson: The same Iraqi guys who melted before ISIS are being "re-trained" to "get it right" according to the Chair of The Joint Chiefs. I've got some swampland in Florida to sell you! Anyway, they'll join the Syrian "moderates" were backing.

H.R. Haldeman: Right, the "moderate" insurgents in Syria who are rarer than a mythical unicorn. Hello! The "Moderates" that we back who have a non-aggression pact with ISIS. These "Moderates" who captured an American journalist and sold him to ISIS, who beheaded him?

R. Nixon: My God, suppose the American people, when it comes to politics, could add 2+2 in present time! MEMGONE would be of no use

J. Erlichman. True, but it is the icing on the cake of stupidity, Chief.

Collectively: [all chant] Down the memory hole! Down the memory hole! MEMGONE, MEMGONE!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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