Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 18 September 2014

image for Bonita Jackson spouts kiddie tough love garbage
Sitting on the naughty step

Spring, Texas - "When ya whoop someone you love, it's about love," the mother of benched Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson said today as pics of her grandson's injuries went viral on the web.

"That's how to prepare them for the real world," Bonita Jackson added in a good parenting rant echoing evangelical Christian bollocks spouted by neo-Nazis.

Her 'spare the A-Rod and spoil the child' comments come as Peterson described how getting his own ass whooped as a kid "never did me no harm" and maybe even "made me the man (sic) I am today."

He's now been benched and had sponsors Nike pull out of a major PR deal ahead of felony child abuse charges.

"This is gonna hurt us a whole lot more than it'll hurt Peterson," a spokesperson commented.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
52 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more