Washington DC -- Under fire for long harboring a racially inappropriate team identity, this city's NFL franchise has changed its logo from the silhouette of a Native American warrior to the image of a potato.
"This should make everybody happy," a team spokesman said. "What could be less controversial than a Redskin potato? It's nutritious. Delicious. And not so fattening, as long as you keep it away from the sour cream and mayonnaise."
But not so fast. The ethical group PISSD, People for the Integrity of Sensible Side Dishes, has reopened the identity battle, pointing out that Redskin potatoes are much too delicate to participate in the National Football League.
"You've got your Idahos. You've got your Baking Potatoes. These are spuds that can withstand the concussions and the body blows," said PISSD President Stanley Bullock. "The point is, the side dish they choose has to make sense in terms how it fits in with the entire meal."
PISSD has already filed a cease and degrease order at Washington's largest Foodcourt. "That's the one right next to the Target, just off the Beltway," Bullock said. "Our action freeze dries the issue, giving everyone time to examine it fully and fairly."
But the NFL's Washington team is not taking PISSD lying down. "We've already signed Mr. Potato Head as our new mascot," the team spokesman said. "We are confident that the chips will fall our way.
"Plus, if you look at this logically, there is no better logo to inspire our fans. After all, the potato is a root vegetable."