Ibrahim ibn Awwad ibn Ibrahim ibn Ali ibn Muhammad al-Badri al-Samarrai, more commonly known by his nom de guerre Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, or BIll, is the Caliph of the self-proclaimed Islamic State-previously the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL) or the Islamic State of Iraq and al-Sham (ISIS)-located in western Iraq and north-eastern Syria.
This, of course, is the group of moral monsters and phony Muslims that President Obama has vowed to "degrade and destroy."
Yesterday, al-Baghadi was accidentally beheaded by one of his lieutenants, Muhammad al-Obtuse. Abu Bakar was scheduled to make a videotape and, in order to protect himself, put on a convincing disguise.
But al-Obtuse, not recognizing him as he came into room to be videotaped, shouted, "Death to the imposter! God is God. God is great!" With that he swung his straight-bladed sword, hit the mark and left the head of al-Baghadi dangling from his neck.
When informed of what he had done, just before he himself was beheaded in retribution by two other lieutenants to the ISIS chieftains, Aban Abbas Abdul-Fattah Hadizz al Estupido Muthanna and his fellow ISIS warrior, Ralph, al Obtuse said his last words. Looking at his blood-soaked sword hands,he shouted, "Out, damn'd spots! out, I say!-Who would have thought al-Baghadi to have had so much blood in him? Shoot, I guess I won't get to see those heavenly virgins after all."