Written by Gail Farrelly

Sunday, 14 September 2014

image for Ice Bucket Shortage Plagues U.S.
A little leaky, but it'll do.

Okay, the ice bucket challenge HAS been a boon to ALS research. But how about the poor folks who are just in need of ice buckets? Y'know, like to carry ice. They're out of luck! There's not an ice bucket to be had. They're all being used for The Challenge.

The situation is becoming dangerous. Ned Noluck of NYC was walking home with a borrowed ice bucket when he was mugged by thugs who demanded that he hand over the bucket. He offered his cash and/or the keys to his Mercedes instead, but the thieves just laughed and said no, that the ice bucket had a lot more value in the market.

When a local hardware store in Iowa offered a special promotion -- free ice buckets to the first ten customers who showed up on Saturday morning -- ten thousand people arrived. Fist fights broke out, and riot police were summoned.

In an attempt to "make do," some folks are grabbing up any old thing with which to carry their ice. Mixing bowls and colanders (like the one pictured here) have been brought into service. Many kids at the beach has been left screaming in the sand because someone grabbed their pails to serve as makeshift ice buckets.

Oh, and unless you have plenty of cash, don't plan on getting an ice bucket on eBay. The last one sold there for over $50,000!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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