Written by Auntie Jean

Monday, 15 September 2014

image for New Year Celebrations To Last Until The Following Christmas Every Year After Scottish Independence

New Year celebrations in Scotland will last at least into March and probably through to Christmas each year in a stealthy plan by Scottish Nationalists to boost Whiskey Sales and T.V. advertising revenue.

New Year, one of Scotland's most popular exports will be made exclusively Scottish, rebranded and extended starting with New Year 2015. Thousands of Scotsmen and women will dress up as chimney sweeps and take lumps of coal next door. Fancy dress will be compulsory for everyone during the National twelve month celebration period and each twelve month celebration will be followed by twelve months off work to recuperate.

Guts and turnips will be served up for each daily meal and repeat T.V. series will be more widely tolerated while the celebrations are in progress.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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