Written by rimisaC

Saturday, 27 September 2014

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image for Skincare manufacturer to sell lotion bottle with built-on screen for porn-viewing
Just rub it in

Junguns Skincare Products announced that they will soon release lotion that comes in a bottle with a 4 ½ high-definition screen attached to it.

Additionally, the bottles will have audio and Wi-Fi capabilities. They will be an industry first and are expected to reach shelves across the U.S. by mid-October.

A recent survey conducted by an adult website revealed that Junguns hand lotion was the most preferred lotion by men to aid masturbation.

In response, Junguns, which is owned by Kao Corporation, created a product that they thought would appropriately suit their newly identified customer base.

"We really wanted to put our product in the customer's hand," said Junguns chief product engineer, Bob Tilly. "And so far, initial results gathered from product testing have been shown that people really like it."

The bottle with a screen attached, said Tilly, gives men the utmost convenience during masturbation.

"No longer will guys have to go and look through their girlfriend's or even their mom's toiletries in order to find some lotion to masturbate with," Tilly pointed out. "And likewise, now men will have everything they need in one spot to get the deed done."

Tilly also revealed that Junguns plans to test a bottle that has a screen and an attached tissue dispenser to completely aid men with self-pleasure.

However, that project is still in its incipient stages, confirmed the company.

Furthermore, Tilly asserted that the new bottles aren't just for men. "Some early-product tests have revealed that women really like this product, too," he said. "Now, if their boyfriend or husband wants a quick hand-job, women can use this screen to keep watching a movie or TV show they were watching, while at the same time, still satisfy their man."

In similar news, a farmer in California recently announced that he will soon sell cucumbers with Wi-Fi-capable screens attached to them for women to use during self-pleasure.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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