11-Year-Old Attacks Obama In Schoolroom

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Tuesday, 16 September 2014

image for 11-Year-Old Attacks Obama In Schoolroom

President Obama, taking a break from his war against ISIS, visited Oakmont Charter School in VA. to show his support for innovative education. The school enrollees include children of diplomats, one of whom is 11-year-old extremely precocious Janna Bright.

Obama, surrounded by reporters, smilingly chatted with Bright's classmates yesterday. The grin faded as Janna told the President that he used terms like "national interest" and "core interests" to defend spending "billions, added to $3 trillions already spent, to defend Iraq against ISIS" without defining the "requisites."

"The U.S. never had a national interest in invading Iraq. General Abizaid - who led all forces in the Middle East - admitted the war was for oil. 'National interest' means safeguarding U.S. security and prosperity. Propping up the government of Iraq against ISIS doesn't do that. We don't even get much oil from Iraq," said Ms. Bright.

"ISIS is a threat to das U.S. muterland," the President retorted. They could come here and kill you and your little amigas," he said, using several languages.

"But the leader of ISIS has thanked America for the attack on Iraq, saying it would not exist without it. Now you, Mr. President, are going to bomb these vicious and vile ISIS people all over the Middle East, kill innocent civilians, and -in the process - gain angry recruits for the Iraq-created terrorists" said the brilliant girl.

Osama responded in Indonesian (he went to Indonesian schools for four years), "Akan mencoba untuk mengalahkan isis kelompok teroris di amerika jika kita tidak menyerang mereka membunuh tangga sasaran. "

Roughly translated, the President was saying that ISIS will try to outdo other terrorist groups in attacking America if we don't wipe them out.

But Janna, who lived in Indonesia and Saudi Arabia with her father responded in Arabic," والدي كان السفير الأمريكي لدى إندونيسيا وأفهم you\ ما تقوله. ولكن هل تفهم لقد تم دراسة اعجابكم الصيني الذي يقول لك can\ ' ر الثلج لي؟"

President Obama, shaking his head, left the schoolroom amidst laughter from the students and press.

Roughly translated she had said, "You're not the smartest person in the room. Stop bombing the Middle East, creating ISIS recruits, and really protect Das Muterland."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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