64% of Colorado cannabis users don't remember where they put their pot, says study

Written by rimisaC

Friday, 19 September 2014

According to a recent study by the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment, 64% of the state's cannabis users can't remember where they put their pot.

30 people, who admitted to recreational marijuana use at least once day, were analyzed by the study, which was conducted over a one month span.

"Our findings were interesting," said study lead-author, Dr. John Rambis of the University of Colorado Boulder. "We think we may have found the real driving force behind Colorado's budding industry."

According to Rambis, rather than make the effort to actually find their misplaced pot, most cannabis users in Colorado simply go out and buy more of it.

"Yes, the raw popularity for marijuana in Colorado is undeniable," said Rambis, "but the real catalyst behind high sales is simply the fact that users are getting so high they forget where they placed their pot. Then they wake up in the morning, can't find it, and rather than look a little harder, they just go down to their local pot shop and pick up some more."

The study is good news for the state's cannabis industry, but there are some marijuana-purists in Colorado who are worried about the findings.

Kathy Hanks, president and co-founder of Colorado's nonprofit group called Save the Buds, was especially troubled to hear so much good pot in her state is going missing.

"It really is a tragedy," said Hanks. "So much good pot is just out there not getting smoked."

Therefore, Hanks established Save the Buds, a non-profit group aimed at helping Colorado cannabis users remember where they put their pot.

Save the Buds offers a weekly class at their Steamboat Springs, Colorado location, during which Hanks and her staff tutor and demonstrate forgetful cannabis users on how to remember where they stored their pot.

"One of our most popular methods is the sticky-note system," revealed Hanks. "Which is when you just grab a sticky-note after you get high and write on it where you put your pot."

Even with the support, though, some of Save the Bud's students still struggle to find their pot.

"I just, like, forget where I put it, man, you know?" said Ryan Lewis, who sought advice from Save the Buds on how to keep track of his pot. "And I tried the whole sticky-note thing, but just when I was, like, about to write it down, I couldn't remember what I was writing."

On the other hand, there are forgetful cannabis users in the Centennial State who look forward to forgetting where they put their pot.

Nick Parker of Aurora, Colorado, said he smokes pot every day, even sometimes at work, but he also admitted that he sometimes can't remember where he put his pot.

"It's just something that happens," said Parker. "I see it as a good thing, though. I mean, you misplace some, and then on a rainy day when you don't have any, you run into a gram or two hiding in your coat pocket, and all of a sudden your whole day has turned around."

Parker said he wasn't at all worried about misplacing his pot, and that he wouldn't attend a Save the Buds class, unless maybe he was looking for people to smoke with.

"I like misplacing a little bud every once in a while," said Parker. "Some people say it's good to find a few dollars in your pocket, I say it's good to find a little weed in your pocket you didn't know you had."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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