Written by D P Whitehead

Friday, 26 September 2014


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For the 700th time this year "The Most Remarkable and Kindest Person You Would Wish To Meet" has sadly died.

This comes after the recent 475th death of "He was a great Man" and comes hot on the heals of the tragic demise of "He was the best son ever", who has now died 332 times so far this year.

Other multiple deaths include "She did so much for the community" (117 deaths) "He will be remembered for his smile and kindness" (83 deaths) and "He was a hard worker and great father" (29 deaths).

"It is amazing how many times these people die," said one confused man, "I mean every time I read the news I hear about them; isn't it about time "He really was a bit of cunt" died? Or how about "He really won't be missed as he did nothing of any consequence"?

At time of press the following people have not yet died "He was prolific at masturbating", "he probably deserved to fall of that cliff" and "he liked nothing more than beating his wife and shooting BB guns at cats".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Death, Obituary, bullshit

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