Obama Found To Have Terrible Disease

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Wednesday, 17 September 2014

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WASHINGTON - President Barack Obama will consider sending US military advisers into combat in Iraq on a "case-by-case basis," said General Martin Dempsey, American military's top-ranking officer told senators on Tuesday.

Dempsey indicated he had discussed the possibility with the US president, who has so far ruled out sending any ground troops into combat. But Dempsey's remarks cast doubt on Obama's publically stated position.

In a conversation leaked by a NSA private contractor, House Minority leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) said to her friend. the noted psychotherapist Tim Leary, "This guy [Obama] kisses the feet of the military. They got him to 'surge' thousands of extra troops into Afghanistan slaughtering our troops even though he knew it was a lost causeā€¦"

Leary then interrupts Pelosi in the transcript and says "all you need to know is that Obama cowers before the Joint Chiefs and wants to appear to be strong for them. That's why he'll start an endless war against Isis that could cost us a billion a day like in Iraq, just what Dempsey wants."

The psychotherapist then explains to Pelosi that "military uniform fetish syndrome" causes the President to "grow week in the knees while the thinking centers of the brain are deactivated when he sees and hears the military brass advocate endless land wars. It's a terrible disease," exclaims Leary.

"The President doesn't care that the vast majority of the American people don't want another ground war in the Middle East. I understand that he doesn't even know why we're there in the first place. But this "military uniform fetish syndrome" indeed includes the need to appear strong, to be a sort of civilian General Jack D. Ripper," concludes the noted psychotherapist.

"Damn, when you've got hundreds of planes, smart bombs, and cruise missiles, the whole world looks like a target set where you can try out your latest war toys. That's the military mind that controls Obama," interjects the former Speaker.

"The U.S. doesn't need a military coup. It's already happened. Obama treats them as deities, so does the congress, and the public really has no say in what happens the way the political system is set up. Besides, we all worship the uniform, don't we?," asked Leary.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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