Nude celebrity statues to be added to Statuary Hall

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Sunday, 7 September 2014


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In search of tourist dollars, Statuary Hall offers X-rated "art" exhibits

WHITEWASHINGTON, AC/DC -- In 1864, Congress allowed each state to contribute two statues of prominent citizens to be displayed in the building's Statuary Hall. There were only two qualifications: the citizens to be so "honored" had to be white and male. Among the honorees are George Washington, Dwight D. Eisenhower, and Andrew Jackson, and, from the Confederate States of America, Jefferson Davis and Robert E. Lee.

Over the years, as political correctness became more important than history, some statues were replaced with others, Ohio, for example, replacing William Allen with Thomas Edison and Michigan, reluctantly, substituting Gerald Ford for Zechariah Chandler.

When women were allowed representation, Alabama allowed Helen Keller to replace Jabez Lamar Monroe Curry, of whom no one, including Alabamans, had ever heard.

Now, Congress has decided the Hall needs more female representation than that of a blind woman, and the legislature has called for statues of celebrities. There are only two qualifications: the celebrities to be so "honored" must be female and nude.

So far, sculptures of Kim Kardashian (preggers) (California), Britney Spears (giving birth) (Mississippi) , Angelina Jolie (California), Selena Gomez (Texas), Hillary Clinton (Illinois), Oprah Winfrey (Mississippi), and Michelle Obummer (Illinois) have been delivered for "exhibition." Many of the works are by famed sculptor Daniel Edwards, who is "not afraid to carve any woman."

Since adding the statues of nude female celebrities, the number of visitors to Statuary Hall has declined by 98 percent.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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