LAND o' OAKS, CA - Known for their sleazy uniforms, the Oakland Raiderettes, who claim to be cheerleaders, have something to cheer about: they were awarded $125 million dollars in a lawsuit, agreeing to "settle" for representing the Raiders rather than other NFL teams whose members, after seeing the X-rated movie Debbie Does Dallas, were interested in recruiting them for "more tangible" rewards.
"We thought we were stiff competition," a Cowboys player gushed, "but the girls weren't too sure of our machismo after our manager hired the gay guy, What's-His-Name."
For the season, at least, the 90 "ladies" who make up the Raiderettes will remain on the Land of Oaks, which is located in California, the Land of Nuts and Fruits.
The cheerleaders say their win has inspired them, and they plan to put not only their shoulders, but their "boobs and buns" into their work as well.
Some fans cheered the cheerleaders' "victory," but others were less than thrilled.
"These bimbos should learn to read; then, they'll know the terms of their contracts before they sign on to strut their stuff.," one of the team's followers declared.
"If they want more," another suggested, "they should show more."
"If they were more in demand," a third fan observed, "Hugh Hefner would have called them by now."
The Raiderettes were "offended" by such "sexist" talk. "We put everything we have on the line every single day," one of the ladies whined, "and we're worth every penny we can get."
Maybe, a member of the Raiders team ventured, "they should join the 49ers and change they name to Gold Diggers."