There were 103 spoof news stories published in November 2017. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
After IQ test results MENSA confirm Trump.com™ not a Moron - Didn't score enough points to reach Moron category
After the infamous MENSA Tillerson Trump.com™ IQ Challenge the test results have been published. Despite assurances from Tillerson that Trump.com™ was a moron it now turns out that Trump.com™ did not score enough points to reach...
Read full storyNorth Korean Dictator Kim Jong Un Seriously Injured by Generals Losing Balance From Giant Hats and Falling on Him
Pyongyang, NK North Korean hereditary dictator, Kim Jong Un, the man who helped put the "dic" in dictator, was seriously injured today. This has caused the North Korean people to weep and wail uncontrollably, while the rest of the world cheers and co...
Read full storyTrump Questions Dog Show Winner's Beagle Pedigree, Mockingly Calls Her "Snoopy"
Washington - The love affair between Miss P the Beagle, who won Best in Show at the Westminster Dog Show in 2015, and President Donald Trump, has come to an abrupt end. During the fifth visit between the canine hero and Trump, taking place at the...
Read full story"Higher Than Everest," but where's Mt. Hercules now?
Cal Tech, Pasadena, CA. In 1875, British sea captain and explorer John A. Lawson ascended a previously unknown peak on the island of New Guinea. Its enormous height and size prompted Lawson to name his new find Mt. Hercules, whose summit, according t...
Read full storyHuge asteroid zooming towards earth is carrying aliens!
NASA Scientists have discovered a huge asteroid, as big a Wembley football ground, zooming towards earth loaded with aliens! It was reported by a 'super Star' UK tabloid to the world, and alien spotters went nuts on the internet hoping to get info...
Read full storyTrump Gives Overseas Speech Blaming World's Problems on Evil Science and Crooked Hillary
Moscow, Russia President Trump has taken a detour from his Asian trip to visit, as he says, a "friend" of his that lives in Moscow. President Trump would not name the person he was visiting, just telling the press that it was "no big deal." While...
Read full storyGod Turns to Atheism After Reading Trump's Tweets
The rumor spreading around heaven is that the God almighty is questioning the existence of himself and the reality of everything around him. Several angels have confirmed seeing him wander between clouds, looking lost and confused. We asked th...
Read full storyMnuchin™ to compensate middle class for higher taxes with free Greenback Bathmats for the Rich
After the laborious task of raping the middle class Mnuchin™ and Marie took time out to inspect the new greenback Bathmat. Marie had complained that she was weary of all the arduous work in Washington and took a military executive jet to the...
Read full storyFDA Sounds Health Alarm: Nearly 25 Percent of Americans Are Pathologically Fit and Trim
Late last night, the Food and Drug Administration issued a public health advisory, warning that nearly 25 percent of Americans are pathologically fit and trim - victims of the newly-coined disorder known as "hyper-healthism." "We're at a turning p...
Read full storyDonald Trump admits he really is too old for this shit
The inventor of the word fake, the man with the plan and the very small hands, the Donald, the Don with the Most (except for Donny Most, from Happy Days) President of the New World Order Donald Trump has admitted that he really is too old for this sh...
Read full storyTrump's New Tax Plan Will Give New Hope to Indigent Millionaires
Mar-A-Lago, FL Trump announced, in between Hole 14 and Hole 15 of his private golf course, that his new tax plan is going to help some of the Forgotten Americans, like millionaires and billionaires that are right on the edge. "Most of all, the new...
Read full storyScience Has No Place in Our Schools Tweets Trump
Mar-A-Lago, FL Trump, in another obvious effort to take the American public's minds off the Russian investigation, lashed out at Science today, saying that it is taught too much in schools. When asked to elaborate, Trump tweeted: "Everybody knows...
Read full storyTight Race for "The Madman of the Year".
Who is this year's winner of the famous "The Madman of The Year" competition? The organisation called "Politically Incorrect Psychiatrist" (PIP), is a group of experts from around the world, who recognise and award distinguished individuals in the...
Read full storyIndian rubber man finds 12ft croc sleeping under his rubber tree!
The sight of a 12ft croc caused quite a shock to an Indian Rubber man when he woke up to unwind after sleeping with his legs tucked behind his neck. The giant croc had slipped in to the man's back garden in Orissa, India, and was sleeping under a...
Read full storyNutter rocket Scientist launches rocket to prove the world is flat!
Somewhere in a California desert (not Area 51!): A nutty proffesor, who drives luxury limo's to finance his "rocket science" projects, is about to launch himself in a rocket to prove to the world that the planet is FLAT! Off his rocks Rocketman, (...
Read full storyDiet of the Millennium? Unethical Veganism Overtakes Paleo (and Gluten-Free)
Decades following the publication of Australian philosopher Peter Singer's landmark treatise Animal Liberation, which prompted dozens (some say even hundreds) of morally-conscious Americans to adopt a vegan lifestyle for ethical reasons, experts have...
Read full storyPutin Tells Trump He Didn't Mess With The 2016 Presidential Election
Vladimir Putin, former head of the KGB and present head of Russia and good friend of oligarchs making money hand over fist, confided in Donald Trump saying that he, Vladimir Putin, had nothing to do with rigging 2016 US Presidential Election. Whew...
Read full storyVladimir Putin Be Like: WTH, man?
Hanoi, Vietnam - After a semi-successful tour of Asia, President Trump is again making headlines about his involvement with Russia, more specifically with Russian Federation President Vladimir Putin. What is it about these two, that they cause contr...
Read full storyPresident Forgets To Pardon 51,649,998 Turkeys
WASHINGTON, Nov. 22 -- In a joke-filled pre-Thanksgiving ceremony at the White House yesterday afternoon, President Trump continued a much-beloved American tradition and forgot to pardon approximately 51,649,998 turkeys. While USA Today estimates...
Read full storyA Thanksgiving Editorial: In Praise of the Common Turkey
As just about all educated people know, turkeys are among the smartest animals on the planet, perhaps in the galaxy. If they were mammals instead of birds, they would, in fact, be the smartest animals on the planet. (For some reason, known only to theoretical physicists, bird neural DNA seems to suffer from "leakage," also known as accelerated entropic seasoning syndrome. Because this is a hig...
Read full storyTop 9 lists about the bottom 4 blogs that describe the essential 7 things to do next year.
This article was initially meant to describe the "Top 9 lists about the bottom 4 blogs that describe the essential 7 things to do next year." but now that's become obsolete, and we'd rather talk about the end of the year lists of things to do before...
Read full storySilver Bells and a Derringer
Silver bells at Christmas no longer have that same old ring to them, at least not for me. Especially a set of bells packed with a Derringer. Yep, that's right - a Derringer! The trouble began a month ago when my wife and I had another argument. Once again, she was complaining that I didn't spend enough time with her, give her enough attention, or consider her feelings - yada, yada, yada. She w...
Read full storyWhy are conservatives so evil?
It is a simple enough question - why are conservatives so callous and indifferent to the suffering of their fellow humans? They always want to cut taxes, which helps their rich friends and punishes the poor and needy? Now finally, a historian may have uncovered the answer. Professor Geoff History of the University of Oxford has revealed that conservatives are actually not human at all. They arr...
Read full storyHumpty Dumpty pudding and pie has been allowed to die, claim Teachers!
Kids refuse to learn nursery rhymes these days preferring their smart phones, computers, laptops and are mesmerised by WhatsApp's, snapchat, instagram, and other social media networks, instead of learning a traditional nursery rhyme or two! "This...
Read full storyDuterte applies for Axis of Evil membership using Avatar Vigilante Assassin Buffoon Clown
It appears the latest Warlord to apply to join the Buffoon Clown Axis of Evil is Duterte. He has chosen the Avatar with the full title of Vigilante Assassin Buffoon Clown. His initial pitch to Dotard went well with a big screen love song recital...
Read full storyPrince William and Prince Harry Gear Up for Hollywood Stardom
Buckingham Palace, London Buckingham Palace announced today that, right after playing Storm Troopers in the Star Wars movie, the Royal Brothers had so much fun that they're now going to make a side-career of movies. Some of the movies they are intere...
Read full storyTrump Family Explains How Nothing in the Russian Election Interference Investigation Was Their Fault
Washington, DC The Trump Family held a press conference today that they only told Fox News about. Nevertheless, details of the family's press conference hit conventional media. Jarrad Kushner started out by saying that when they were contacted by...
Read full storyReport Shows Contestants in Miss Universe Beauty Contest All From Earth
An investigation into the Miss Universe Beauty Pageant has revealed that contestants are always from planet earth. Years of documents going back to the event's inception have reportedly been uncovered, all of which show a consistent pattern of exclus...
Read full storyFilm actors are not Superheroes, regardless of what they might tell you...
It has emerged that the actors who make a lot of money playing superheroes, aren't actually super-heroes, says a shock report. Actors of the calibre of George Clooney, Robert Downey Jnr, Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, Christian Bale, and Ben Affleck...
Read full storyBond 007 latest movie - The Russian Spy that didn't know he was a Spy until he became President of America
The latest Bond 007 thriller announced by the Eon production company is set to start filming soon. Given there are no more Ian Fleming books to adapt they are said to be contriving a modern story line from contemporary events. This time Daniel Cr...
Read full storyMutants at X-Men School Welcome the Rocket Man And the Orange Man.
After many years of pretending to be something they're not, the Rocket Man and the Orange Man have finally found their way home. They were welcomed by Dr.Charles Xavier, the school Headmaster. For those of you who don't know him, he is a top-notch...
Read full story"The Urinary Tract:" Did Comedy Songwriter Tom Lehrer write this?
Santa Cruz, CA. Musicologists rummaging through the Tom Lehrer manuscripts at U C Santa Cruz have found what appears to be an original humorous ditty that has never been performed. "The Urinary Tract," which consists only of lyrics and is without...
Read full storyTrump Explains How He Has Personally Saved Europe
Somewhere in Asia Donald Trump spoke at one of the Maldives Islands on the latest North Korea developments. "So Rocket Boy announced that Europe doesn't need to worry about being nuked because he is so scared of me that he's saving all his nukes f...
Read full storyCorker, Trump Dispute Leads to a Fruitful Discussion about the Merits of Adult Undergarments
Washington, DC. Tensions are running high--once again--between Capitol Hill and 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. According to multiple reports, corroborated by several sources close to Capitol Hill and Pennsylvania Avenue, and documented by video and au...
Read full storyPsychopath From a Country With Strict Gun Control Wonders Why He Can't Shoot Anyone
In the light of recent events in Texas, psychopaths from around the world, especially from the countries where guns are strictly regulated, have started wondering if they will ever have a chance to shoot someone. Our correspondent had an opportunity...
Read full story'Super Polluted Rats' under large global cities forming armies to conquer the world!
Huge, over-populated global cities smothered in pollution are causing the growth of a strange, underground creature; Super Rats (No not Supermen)! Rats fed on our crap are beginning to grow to enormous sizes, have huge teeth and tails, and are fri...
Read full storyWacko Jacko 2.0 gives the Melbourne Cup Birdcage a good lickin'
Invited by Myers as a Melbourne Cup Style Ambassador she soon found the exclusive Birdcage decor not to her liking and set about giving it a good licking to make herself feel more comfortable. However the Aussies in their predictable pubescent whi...
Read full storyTurkey Pardons Donald Trump At Thanksgiving.
In an unusual turnaround at the annual Turkey Pardoning festivity at the White House the turkey itself made a speech. The 48 pound white turkey Drumstick unexpectedly hopped up to the mike, cleared his throat and said "Thank you, Mr. President fo...
Read full storyWomen Not Harrassed by Weinstien Urged to Come Forward
Hollywood, CA There have been so many allegations of sexual misconduct by women of Hollywood and beyond, that women that have been sexually abused are asked to not come forward right at this time. The women, who have not been molested by Weinstie...
Read full storyFabulous F1 driver is so fast even the tax men can't catch him!
Being a fantastic F1 driver, and world champion, has its advantages whilst being chased by taxmen driving Skoda's or Hyundai's. The fastest man in the world sitting in his snazzy sports car has such an advantage in reaching his private jet in time th...
Read full storyBitcoin Named Hottest 2017 Christmas Present
Forget cabbage patch dolls, Barbie, hoverboards and Gameboys. The hottest gift for 2017 is Bitcoin. Whether you buy an entire Bitcoin (USD $10,000 at press time) or the smallest of increments, every kid (and adult) wants this exciting stocking stuffer. Bitcoins are purchased on Coinbase, an exchange for cryptocurrency. You can download Coinbase easily on your iPhone, transfer cash by credit...
Read full storyNorth Korea Conducts 3rd ICBM Test With Mixed Results
PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA (Replicant-D Headlines) -- North Korea conducts the third test of the Hwasong-14 ICBM, however, this test is a mix of success and failures. The reason why the test has a confusing outcome is due to the expected and the actua...
Read full storyKim Jong-Un Reveals His Threats to the U.S. Were Just to Keep Trump From Visiting
Pyongyang, North Korea A refugee from North Korea recently informed the press that the whole country of North Korea understands why fat-but-not jolly dictator Kim Jong-Un has been threatening the U.S., non-stop, ever since Trump became President.
Read full storyElon Musk Develops System to Transport Trapped Shoppers Out of Ikea Stores
Palo Alto, California - Elon Musk, the celebrated technology pioneer who founded and runs Tesla and Spacex, has announced a new startup that would develop technology allowing shoppers, burned-out spouses of those shopping, and others lost in Ikea sto...
Read full storyNorth Korean Restaurant Opens Next to Trump Tower: Receives Worm-Free Reviews
New York. In an unprecedented move, a North Korean restaurant called the Fire and Fury opened in a vacant building right next to Trump Tower last weekend to massive, hungry crowds. Some of New York's more sophisticated diners undoubtedly were dra...
Read full storyYikes: The North Koreans Are Coming
The Koreans are coming. The Koreans are coming? It used to be: The Russians are coming. The Russians are coming. Who knew? One might as well say: The Canadians are coming. During his campaign, the guy from Queens used to rage that the Mexicans wer...
Read full storyJapanese prime minister falls down in sand trap after nineteen second handshake with Trump
Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe has been photographed in a prolonged handshake with President Trump--followed by falling into a sand trap when the two played golf accompanied by an assortment of aides and press. Mr. Abe is not sure that the rec...
Read full storyWorld Series Marred by Fan Behavior, Breaks World Record by Creating Disgusting Messes
Editor's Note: It should be noted that the writer of this story has less interest in professional baseball than most Americans have in world football, known as soccer to Americans, whereas football, from the American perspective, is often confused fo...
Read full storyAlabamians Vote in Alleged Serial Killer Judge Roger Ray Morris as Their New Senator
AL--Alleged serial killer Judge Roger Ray Morris, who maintains the nine bodies buried in his basement were already there when he moved in, won an election on Tuesday against Democrat Doug Jones. Morris, who is out on bail pending an investigation...
Read full storyClimate Change Real Only if Obama Says it Is Not, Insists Trump
President Trump is having second thoughts about signing the Paris climate deal. Apparently, this sudden change of heart happened after private investigators, hired by the President, overheard former president Obama saying that "there's no such thi...
Read full storyTrump Administration Members Offering to Turn State Evidence and Testify Against Trump
Washington, DC Several people in Trump's adminstration have come forward to the FBI and offered to talk and name names in return for amnesty. "I'm not sure what Trump's even done, but I know whatever it is, it isn't good. I know I don't want to ge...
Read full storyMugabe No Longer Dictator in Zimbabwe After Military Tricks Him
Harare, Zimbabwe The Zimbabwe Military recently took over governing the country from the 93-year-old Mugabe. "I'm surprised it took us so long" said General Agreement. "I mean, the guy is 93-years-old. How tough could it be?" "What we did was...
Read full storySmelly fish restaurant owner wins AA restaurant of the year award!
A renowned UK fish restaurant has topped the AA charts after some splendid reviews claiming the place stinks! The owner, welcomed the fact that a reviewer told TripAdvisor of his experience there, and here it is: "Well, when you walk through th...
Read full story"Mmm, Tofurky!" Pleads Desperate Turkey in Final Week Before Thanksgiving
Clearly feeling the heat as he approached his looming slaughter at the age of six weeks, a bloated five-week-old teenage turkey desperately attempted to talk up the appeal of "mock meats" like the widely popular soy-based Tofurky. "Mmmm, Tofurky!"...
Read full storyNavajo Code Talkers in Controversial White House Ceremony, Hook Up with Melania
Washington, DC. At the White House, President Trump honored Navajo Code Talkers in a ceremony that even his staff admitted "was slapped together in ten minutes once we found out the old Indian dudes were in town," according to an anonymous, very seni...
Read full storyCreation Scientists Teaching Snakes to Talk
Having definitively proven the scientific accuracy of the first two chapters of Genesis, researchers Christian Fisch and Ina Diaz of Liberty University are well into a research program designed to validate the accuracy of chapter three. "Even the secular evolutionists know that snakes have vestigial hip bones", declared Dr. Fisch. "This proves that they were capable of walking on two or four l...
Read full storyPresident Trump Wondering What the Heck He Has To Do To Be Impeached
Sources close to the President say he's become increasingly unclear what he has to do to be impeached by Congressional Republicans. According to a White House insider, Trump originally thought that a simple, deranged inauguration speech would d...
Read full story"Mmmm, Tofurky!' Pleads Desperate Turkey in Final Week before Thanksgiving
Clearly feeling the heat as he approached his looming slaughter at the age of six weeks, a bloated five-week-old teenage turkey desperately attempted to talk up the appeal of "mock meats" like the widely popular soy-based Tofurky. "Mmmm, Tofurky!"...
Read full storyAl Franken accused of touching himself inappropriately but not what you think!
Washington D.C. - Comet Pizza regular, Edray Uttbay, called our pervert hotline in our newsroom to report yet another sordid case of inappropriate touching. The perpetrator? Al Franken. The victim? Al Franken. Comet Pizza regular, Edray Uttbay,...
Read full storyQueen Victoria Spinning in Her Grave is Suspected New Energy Source
Royal Mausoleum Visitors to the Royal Mausoleum began hearing a strange noise and feeling strange vibrations in the vicinity of the grave of Queen Victoria, who ushered in the Victorian Age. The Victorian Age was considered a time of virtue, reticenc...
Read full storyThousands of Service Personel seek Trauma counseling after Trump.com™ Thanksgiving Speech for the Troops
Medical Doctors are reporting a huge upsurge in active service personnel seeking psychological treatment for PTSSD (Post Trump Speech Stress Disorder) after Trump.com™ Thanksgiving Speech for the Troops. Doctors say they have not seen a sur...
Read full storyRoy Moore: An Entire Nation Bemoans Media Attack on Visionary, Insightful Leader
Mobile, Alabama - Republican voters, politicians and commentators in Alabama and across the country are stunned and disappointed by the Washington Post story detailing possible sexual abuse by Senate candidate Roy Moore of a young teenager 40 years a...
Read full storyLittle Known Stories of Remarkable U. S. Presidential Moments
George Saunders's recent book, Lincoln in the Bardo, recounts how the 16th President spent some time in a Washington cemetery mausoleum after the death of his son Willie, being pestered by quirky ghosts. Yet, this is only the latest in a long line o...
Read full storyIndian wannabe Mowgli teenager get's 'trunked' by chained elephant seeking revenge!
Kerala, India: Chained elephants in India look peaceful, loving, and really not dangerous until humans, believing they possess 'Elephant Whisper' skills attempt to mount them! After whispering in the huge ears of a chained elephant, and feeding...
Read full storyAmericant Arlines offering special travel package to pilots
Fort Worth, Texas - Americant Airlines spokesperson (she rides a bicycle to work) Marsheesha Aliboboosa announced today to a group of frazzled, jet lagged reporters a new travel discount program. Pilots and their friends, up to fifty of them, fly...
Read full storyDonald Trump's internal dialogue to be switched of
Following news of all sorts, it appears that the internal monologue that informs all of Donald Trumps tweets, vocal utterings and though patterns is to be switched of, at the suggestion of both congress, and the American public at large. Professor...
Read full storySunderland Struggle
In an announcement that has shocked no one Northern Ireland manager Michael O'Neil has said he's "not interested in the Sunderland job". Which came as a surprise to Sunderland as, up to that point, they'd not approached him. Michael joins a long...
Read full storyTrump Enjoys Layover in Vietnam, accidentally squashes several children
Editor's Note: Inasmuch as LeRoy Ephers (see his claim to fame (and note that inasmuch as is almost never used in today's journalism)) winces at the possibility of writing another story for The Spoof, and inasmuch as he detests all the fake news stor...
Read full storyTrump.com™ outsources Whitehouse Policy to Fox and Friends
After much derision against Trump.com™ rampant toxic outbursts at the 3am bewitching hour, the Whitehouse have decided to outsource all further Twitter Twatter outbursts to Murdoch. Murdoch made the announcement along side Trump.com™ a...
Read full storyTurns out that Trump was born in...
In June of 1946, Fred Trump and his very pregnant wife were traveling (ill-advised... imagine that) from South Africa back to New York. Their plane suddenly lost power in of the engines. The engine was malfunctioning and would work and then fail agai...
Read full storyNeighbor's Dog Files Harassment Complaint Against Harvey Weinstein
New charges in the Harvey Weinstein case show that Weinstein's neighbor's poodle, Rex, has filed a harassment suit against the former movie mogul. The poodle is alleging that Weinstein forced his way through a hedge separating the two properties a...
Read full storyTrump Announces He Will Resign and Join Church of Scamatology
Trump Tower, NY President Trump stunned the nation today when he announced that he was resigning the Presidency to join the Church of Scamatology. "I was just walking down the street and this scruffy child came up to me and handed me a flyer. It w...
Read full storyHarvey Weinstein moves to Alabama and immediately sets up gubernatorial election campaign
In preparation for the 2018 election, former movie mogul Harvey Weinstein moved his personal residence to Alabama and expressed keen interest in becoming the state's next Governor. The move surprised many, as Weinstein never showed much interest in...
Read full storyFeline Victim of Parisian Sexual Predator Comes Forward After 70 Years of Silence
Paris, France - Penelope the Cat, now 90 years old, has come forth with the stunning revelation that renowned French celebrity Pepe Le Pew assaulted her numerous times in the late 40s. The unwanted advances took place at several locations in Fra...
Read full storyThe Never-Performed Eighth Movement of "The Planets"
There was a time when my classical music station in Los Angeles, KUSC-fm, played Gustave Holst's "The Planets" more frequently than it does now. That was wen moon walks and Mars landings occurred more often than they do today. The Holst opus is one of the great symphonic compositions of the twentieth century, but after 1930 it was very much in need of an eighth movement. Until 2006, that is.
Read full storyCongress Considers a Ban on the Trophy Hunting of Sexual Predators
WASHINGTON, DC--Two representatives today co-sponsored a new Bill in Congress that would ban, in the United States, the trophy hunting of sexual predators. The bipartisan co-sponsors, Rep. John Conyers from Michigan and Rep. Blake Farenthold from Te...
Read full storyGod Sorry for Not Noticing Gunman Creeping Around Church
In a rare public appearance, God has apologized for not noticing Devin Patrick Kelley creeping up to the church armed with an AR-15 semi-automatic rifle. God says he was distracted by all the lovely prayers coming from inside the church. "The par...
Read full storyYale solves hanging portrait white race issue
Yale University - The Dean of Yale's Pierson College, Phallus Blanco, has responded to complaints surrounding his hanging portraits of white men in the residence halls. As reported previously (Click to read) "Yale college removes portraits of wh...
Read full storyVegetarian & Muslim prisoners in UK prison released because pork is on the menu!
A luxury UK prison in Boston, UK (logical), crowned as the 'cushiest' prison in the UK, only accepts meat-eating inmates because the canteen only serves pork from local pigs, and vegetarian or Muslim inmates cannot be allowed to go hungry! The pri...
Read full story"I Wanna Sue." Octogenarian Charges His Elementary School with Sexual Harassment
Lynwood, CA. An eighty-seven-year-old man has filed a sexual harassment suit against the Lynwood, CA., Elementary School District, charging failure on the part of the district to protect him from predatory female classmates eighty years ago. The liti...
Read full storyReindeer castration ruins Christmas shopping display
There was a serious kerfuffle at a shopping centre in Bangor, Wales today, when a reindeer became entangled with a wheelchair and had to be surgically removed from it. The problem began at Santa's Grotto, a temporary shop full of cheap Christmas g...
Read full storyThe News At Me
The world is awash with important breaking news stories that scream so loud they surely cannot be ignored. There's a endless parade of sexual assault claims in Hollywood. Ex-Generals claiming the US could lose a war against the tinpot dictatorship of...
Read full storySelf-driven bus crashes in fake city, Las Vegas!
Las Vegas, 08.11.2017: It was a gamble (boom boom) in the gambling mecca of the world to start experimenting with self-driving buses shuttling gamblers back and forward from their one-arm-bandits to roulette tables in the city! The thing crashed o...
Read full storyTrump Family Ranked by Trump
Trump visited Fox & Friends yesterday and was asked about how his family was adapting to Trump being President. Trump replied that some were doing better than others. He said that he liked all his kids equally especially Ivanka, who he equally liked the most. "Ivanka is always there when I need her. I like having her around so I make sure Gerald or Jarrad or whatever his name is, is kept bu...
Read full storyMRI Reveals Fallen Real Madrid Midfielder Suffered Actual Injury
Madrid, Spain - Constantino, world renowned footballer for champion club Real Madrid, has inexplicably sustained an actual leg injury, sources at the team revealed yesterday, after what appeared to be his customary routine when tackled by an opponent...
Read full storyDonald Trump told to start using his indoor voice
US President and chief ompalumpa Donald Trump has been told to start using his indoor voice when speaking, and not his outdoor voice. The leader is known for his shyness and self-effacing ways, but his outdoor voice gets him into trouble, and when...
Read full storyDifficult to See How Las Vegas Massacre Could Have Been Avoided
Republicans sifting through the stack of legally purchased guns that Stephen Paddock brought into his bedroom, half of which he'd converted into simulated automatic weapons, are at a loss to see how the massacre that killed 58 innocent people could h...
Read full storyQueen Knights Fleet of Corgis and Gives Them Their Own Coats of Arms
London, England Buckingham Palace announced today that the Queen's famous Corgis will all be Knighted. Also, the Royal Cocker Spaniels and Dorgis will receive MBEs, while the Queen's favorite two Corgis, Monty and Emma, will be made a Baron and a Mar...
Read full storyEx-servicemen forget about Remembrance Sunday
It has long been reported that the numbers of ex-servicemen who attend Remembrance Sunday events are falling. Now it appears that many of them are simply forgetting to turn up. We asked some of them to try to understand why. Geoff De'ath, 81, of M...
Read full storyFake news is fake news
For months now, world has been shocked by stories of fake news. People believe president is liar or idiot or Russia is bad country. Now news reports say fake news never existed. UK Government Leader Comrade May explain to press, "There no fake new...
Read full storyYorkshire village declares independence
"What a terrific week", said Fred Clout, Mayor of the hamlet of Millington in the East Riding of Yorkshire, England. "We may be leaving the EU, but they're still a great source of inspiration over there." Following Catalonia's move to break awa...
Read full storyTurning Their Guns Into Plowshares
In a surprising and eloquent speech before the media today President Select Trump offered new and unexpected opinions on the horrific mass shooting that shocked Texas and the world on Sunday. Going against the major part of his constituents he sai...
Read full storyBest States in the U.S. to Run For Office in If You Are a Sexual Deviant
A new survey arrived out of Science Town today about the mood of people across the country on the subject of sexual degeneracy. They found that: 1. One of the best states for sexual deviants to run for office in is Alabama, based on the states's acceptance of Roy Moore admitted dalliances with underage females. 2. Another state that is good would be California, where the former governator, A...
Read full storyQueen's Speech
Along with a disappointingly snow free Christmas morning, death and destruction in the socialist realist documentaries Eastenders and Emmerdale, the Queen's Speech is now as traditional part of the festive season as seeing Darren from the office phot...
Read full storyTabloid editors spreading Christmas rage
It is November, and as usual British tabloids are getting into the festive mood by searching the country for stories of people not celebrating Christmas properly. It is a yearly tradition to whip up readers into a frenzy of loathing, and will warm th...
Read full storyAmsterdam bans beer bikes because pot smokers can't relax!
Beer bikes, a common sight on Amsterdam's cobble-stoned streets, and seen riding alongside canals, are causing so much noise the coucil has banned them! The bikes are rented by groups of boozed up tourists celebrating anything. However, they are c...
Read full storyTrump would send California Secessionist to Gitmo
Following the lead of the Spanish president in jailing Catalonia's secessionist instigators, President Donald J. Trump tweeted this morning that he would prosecute Marcus Evans and other "secessionist agitators" if they continue to promote "Calexit,"...
Read full storyMood of the United States is Jubilant As Trump Leaves the Continent
Washington, DC According to recent polls, the country is at a very relaxed state-one that it hasn't been in since the last time Trump left the country. "Even though we of course are worried about what damage Trump might do by riling up our allies...
Read full storyRoyal Family Will Start Proceedings to Collect Royalties From The Crown, The Queen, Victoria and Abdul, and More
London, England The Royal House of England, including the members of the House of Windsor (Saxe-Coburg-Gotha), Stuart, Plantaganet, Spencer, and others. "Am I not royal enough to collect royalties?" asked Queen Elizabeth. "It is tragic that I am n...
Read full storyTucker Carlson Suffers Bout of Amnesia on Fox News Show, Recovering at Home
New York - Fox News Commentator Tucker Carlson was resting comfortably at his home in New York City, a day after he suffered temporary memory loss during his television show, Tucker Carlson Tonight. His hour long commentary began well enough, with...
Read full story