Written by D. L. Hawkinson

Monday, 27 November 2017

image for North Korean Restaurant Opens Next to Trump Tower: Receives Worm-Free Reviews
One of the favorite dishes (guaranteed to be worm- and explosive-free, up to a 90% certainty)

New York. In an unprecedented move, a North Korean restaurant called the Fire and Fury opened in a vacant building right next to Trump Tower last weekend to massive, hungry crowds.

Some of New York's more sophisticated diners undoubtedly were drawn in by its menu, which brags the fine cuisine is "like nothing the world has ever seen--and is mostly/completely free of worms and worm byproducts."

The opening, however, was briefly marred by controversy.

One protester, Ed Perk, carried a sign saying, "Put out the Fire. Silence the Fury!"

The owner, Han Il Uh, had no idea what the sign meant since he didn't speak English. Through a U.N. interpreter, Il Uh did say that after offering Perk some free samples of Egg Foo Young he put down the sign and immediately applied for a job.

He starts on Monday.

According to area food patrons, the food at the Fire and Fury matches its hyperbolic, overheated rhetoric. One young woman admitted, "I'd row a boat to Guam through seas of fire for another serving of their Moo Goo Gai Pan."

"Don't forget about their prices," a college student chimed in. "They're so low you'd think they'd have to use slave labor!"

"You can quote me on this," said an experienced restaurateur, butting in line. "The Kong Pao Chicken leaves your taste buds devastated. It's like an ICBM exploding in your mouth."

"KA-BOOM!" exclaimed Han Il Uh's five-year-old son, Hunh-Il.

Central to the ambiance, the five-year-old spends most of the day riding his bike on the sidewalk, spitting at and threatening the patrons, who find his threats "more than a little amusing, if not downright adorable."

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Editor's Note: Although this story was slipped under the door by LeRoy Ephers, he insists that he is still on strike against The Spoof (see his manifesto) and simply found the story lying on the ground. As a good citizen, he delivered it to its intended destination. Mr. Ephers is also requesting that if anyone knows how to remove long worms from his lower intestinal tract, he'd be mightily thankful. Living in a camper on the edge of town, he admits, does not always foster the best hygiene.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Food, North Korea




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