Washington, DC. Tensions are running high--once again--between Capitol Hill and 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
According to multiple reports, corroborated by several sources close to Capitol Hill and Pennsylvania Avenue, and documented by video and audio (and which Trump promptly dismissed as "fake news"), Tennessee Senator Bob (the Bobster) Corker described the White House as "an adult day care center."
Though he wouldn't be specific, at least not at first, about who needed the care in the adult day care center, it was widely speculated that he was implying that the big, diaper-wrapped baby was in fact Trump.
A few reporters speculated early on that the big baby was actually Kelly Anne Conway, whose demented comments and twirling eyeballs suggest that she could easily neglect attending to her bodily functions. Those reporters were quickly fired and ushered back to Wisconsin, where they were assigned to cover new developments in bovine husbandry.
"Just like a nasty two-year-old," Corker added, "Trump could easily bring the U.S. into WW III. And I don't know about you, but that's not going to be good for anyone."
A reporter, distracted during the WW III comment, asked Corker, "When you say the White House is "an adult day care center," are you suggesting that Trump wears adult diapers that need routine changing?"
"Depends," Corker commented with a wink, "I'll leave that to you to speculate on, especially the part about the 'routine changing.'"
"Do you have any evidence," asked White House reporter, Andrea Mitchell, who's known for her marriage to Alan Greenspan, a man who's at least 102 and a veteran to adult diapers for the last two decades, "that Trump 'does his business' in adult diapers? I have some experience in this area, and I must say that I would be surprised if Trump wore adult diapers."
Corker laughed for several minutes.
Then, on a serious note, he continued, "Why do you think he plays golf with a sports jacket on? I mean, who does that? I'll tell you one thing: It's not just to cover his hippopotamus rump. It's to hide the 'occasional accidents.'"
"You mean--?" asked Mitchell.
"Yes," Corker confirmed. "Leakage."
"Do you see any drawbacks to Trump's wearing adult undergarments?" another reporter asked, slightly embarrassed.
"I do," Corker replied. "If he's not changed promptly, like extremely early in the morning, he gets fussy and takes it out on his Twitter feed. Why do you think his comments are so routinely hateful? Wouldn't you be nasty if you had a huge, fermenting load of last night's supper hanging down from your hinder regions? I know I would."