Written by Aspartame Boy

Thursday, 23 November 2017

image for Al Franken accused of touching himself inappropriately but not what you think!
Franken did something nasty

Washington D.C. - Comet Pizza regular, Edray Uttbay, called our pervert hotline in our newsroom to report yet another sordid case of inappropriate touching. The perpetrator? Al Franken. The victim? Al Franken.

Comet Pizza regular, Edray Uttbay, called our pervert hotline in our newsroom to report yet another sordid case of inappropriate touching. The perpetrator? Al Franken. The victim? Al Franken.

And it wasn't his frankfurter!

Edray described the sordid scene in great detail.

Edray described the sordid scene in great detail.

"He was eating a cheese pizza and the sauce was all over his face and hands. Then he started sneezing and sneezing. He covered his nose with his hand and got pizza sauce up his nose. Then he took his little finger and tried to remove it but only got more sauce up his nose. I was outraged. There were children present."

TheSpoof.com will give you regular updates on this story as we assigned our top investigative reporter to what we now call NostrilGate. We expect to find a whole network of nostril abusers amongst the elite.

Franken was last seen by our undercover reporter giving his nose a blow job.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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