The News At Me

Funny story written by Backandtotheleft

Friday, 10 November 2017

The world is awash with important breaking news stories that scream so loud they surely cannot be ignored. There's a endless parade of sexual assault claims in Hollywood. Ex-Generals claiming the US could lose a war against the tinpot dictatorship of North Korea. And yet another mass shooting in the so called civilised Western World.
But we found one story so criminally ignored it made our blood boil.

Then we went to the Drs and he said we'd been standing too close to radiators again.

Joan Whetshef from Little Piddlington On Berk has discovered that you may not be storing your expensive perfumes correctly:

She said:

I've discovered that people may not be storing their expensive perfumes correctly.

That's exactly what we said. She went on with (hopefully something fucking original):

Expensive perfumes are like fine cuts of meat they have to be stored correctly or they'll spoil. It's a fine balancing act for most people because it can be difficult to comprehend that different perfumes need different storage spaces. Did you know that the average Britain only has access to one cupboard?

We didn't. We also thought that one cupboard was a fucking excessive display of wealth. So was there anything us normal people could do?

People just need to be more careful and really stop and take a look at how their storing their expensive perfumes. Have you put it inside a pie? Wrong. What about down the back of the bookcase? Wrong again. I once knew a woman who would store her expensive Dior scents at the bottom of a small fish pond. Come on people think!

She made some...good? Points. Well points were made.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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