Written by joseph k winter

Friday, 10 November 2017

image for Japanese prime minister falls down in sand trap after nineteen second handshake with Trump
Video of the presidential entourage covering this event no longer available

Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe has been photographed in a prolonged handshake with President Trump--followed by falling into a sand trap when the two played golf accompanied by an assortment of aides and press.

Mr. Abe is not sure that the record-holding 19.3 second handshake with Mr. Trump is at the root of his problem with the bunker.

He has told his therapist, hence to Spoof Investigations, that ever since his gift of a golf club with solid gold head to Mr. Trump last February, he has been expecting a sign of the US president's appreciation.

Apparently this came on the President's recent visit to Japan, where a record-breaking nineteen second handshake is now established as a challenge to future diplomatic meetings between heads of state.

In contrast, Mr. Trump's closest effort previously in length of hand-shaking was at sixteen point five seconds with Prime Minister Netanyahu of Israel.

At the other extreme, his handshake with President Putin weighs in at one point three seconds, kept deliberately brief to avoid further evidence in the Russia-gate case.

Contact with Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov is in dispute as to whether the two actually made contact with their hands.

They appeared in the process of a handshake, but video on this matter is blurred (and now withdrawn).

Mr. Lavrov's therapist states that in the Trump-Lavrov case the hands started toward one another, then swerved away at the last avoidance opportunity.

Mr. Abe's nineteen second handshake with Mr. Trump has led to a controversial video capturing his facial expression a moment after the hand holding terminated.

It is not clear whether Mr. Abe is disgusted or overwhelmed with appreciation in his facial response at this point.

Breaking: world news services are about to be advised this video will be withdrawn or "unavailable" due to issues with "dignity" in world relations.

Mr. Abe's therapist posits that on the golf course following the handshake Mr. Abe was distracted when removing himself from a sand trap due to the lengthy hand-holding initiated by Mr. Trump.

He slipped and fell onto his rear end but in a remarkably agile recovery completed return to his feet within 2.5 seconds.

Mr. Trump was fist-bumping with another member of the entourage at the time, and did not witness this tumble.

This video has already been withdrawn although witnessed (and twittered about) by millions throughout the world.

Mr. Abe has indicated the hand-shaking in itself with Mr. Trump was not the problem, but the look on Mr. Trump's face--which suggested a possible interest beyond "bromance" to "romance."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
73 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more