Washington, DC The Trump Family held a press conference today that they only told Fox News about. Nevertheless, details of the family's press conference hit conventional media.
Jarrad Kushner started out by saying that when they were contacted by Russia's Fusion GPS, they thought it was a global positioning company dedicated to giving directions. They had no idea it was Russian.
Ivanka talked about how she didn't get to go to the Russian Conference, as she called it, because she was working on her Scuba Dress line. She then went into a spiel on the dresses, their low prices but high quality, and how that just because they are called Scuba dresses they aren't meant to be worn scuba-diving.
Donald Trump, Jr. explained that he didn't know the Russian he met with was a spy because she said she was a pen pal he once had and he said his butler always wrote his pen pal letters so he didn't know the difference. Then he launched into a rant on how Crooked Hillary caused any problems there might be.
Eric Trump stated that he wasn't at the meetings although he wanted to be but no one told him. Then he kind of looked like he was trying not to cry, turned and fell, hit his head on the podium, and knocked himself out.