There were 78 spoof news stories published in December 2017. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Drones Don't Get Invited to City's New Year's Eve Bash
Outrage was in evidence among drones (y'know, those flying thingies that come in all sizes and shapes) when they learned they were not invited to the massive party thrown by the city of White Plains, north of New York City. More specifically, the d...Read full story
NCAA Protests LaVar Ball's Proposed Basketball League
The NCAA today lodge a formal protest against an effort by LaVar Ball to create a new professional basketball league for high school graduates who have no interest in attending college. The plan, as outlined by Ball to SPOOF, would offer outstanding...Read full story
Florida Bar Owner Forced Into Lawsuit For Denying Access to a Trans-Aged Person
Larry Horowitz, a bar owner in the vacation town of Destin, FL,was forced into a lawsuit over the denial of a Trans-Aged child into a bar at a resort earlier last week. The Lawsuit Lasted just three short days and ended in a settlement of $12,000 for...Read full story
Youth Sumo in America
Sumo is a sport from Japan that spectators love to watch and also kids. A few weeks ago there was a youth Sumo league in L.A. that started from a man named Kim Jong Un. The kids are loving it and they love fighting with their foes and hopefully, t...Read full story
LuAnne Bawl, 6, Rescinds Commitment to Play Basketball for UCLA
Chico Mills, CA. LuAnne, the youngest member of the infamous Bawl basketball family, has rescinded her letter of commitment to enter UCLA in 2028 and play on the Bruins' women's basketball team. Her father, LaBore Bawl, announced the rescission ear...Read full story
Nashville Man Experiences What He's Pretty Sure Is a Feeling
Late yesterday afternoon, East Nashville resident Gregg Pardon experienced a markedly unpleasant tingling sensation deep in his gut, which he tentatively believes to have been a feeling. "I can't verify one hundred percent," stated Pardon, "but ba...Read full story
Trump Sneaks in an Executive Order Putting His Face on the $100 Dollar Bill and Plans on Charging Royalties
Mar-A-Lago, FL U.S. Secretary of the Treasury Steven Mnuchin was shocked when he went to inspect the new $100 bills and saw Trump's picture on them! But Mnuchin was even more shocked when he realized that Trump claimed he had the right to take a...Read full story
The Trump Economic Miracle Explained by His Followers Using One Easy Chart
Washington - Donald Trump and White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders have recently described the economic period established in February of this year under his administration as the "Trump Miracle", and his dwindling number of followers a...Read full story
Chinese pot noodles hit by pizza tsunami!
The basic diet of billions of Chinese is being swept from under their bare feet by an 'Italian tsunami' causing a 'Domino' effect on the nutritional foundations of the most populated country on the planet! Chinese pot noodles, eaten by the rich, t...Read full story
Do Your New Year's Partying Early This Year: Doomsday Clock Running Slow
Earth. According to the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists, the Doomsday Clock is set to two and one-half minutes before midnight. As one scientist put it, "That's just long enough to find a brown paper bag and hyperventilate into it until you pass o...Read full story
Homeless Should Pay Tax for Homes They Don't Have, Insist Republicans.
Enough of paying taxes for the things you have. How about paying them for the things you don't have? This message resonated at the recent gathering of the group of brave men and women, known as the GOP. They decided to stick it to the establishmen...Read full story
What Does it Take to Become a Good Private Investigator?
Private examination is a vocation. The individuals who mean to go into the activity are relied upon to have some formal preparing. In Los Angeles for example certain prerequisite must be met before one turns into a Los Angeles Private Investigator ex...Read full story
White girl to join Weird Black Girl reality series
In a controversial move, Amber Green, a white Caucasian woman, just registered to be on Weird Black Girl, a reality series showcasing unique African-American women. James Rosenstein, the producer of the series, says, "Our show values diversity, i...Read full story
Hillary: The Grinch Who Almost Stole Christmas
Seattle, Washington - As reported Friday, Hillary Clinton was arrested after an altercation in a Seattle downtown department store. As part of her never ending "What Happened" book tour, she was in Seattle giving speeches, signing books, and was caug...Read full story
The new Asspull Watch deliberately makes you late
Cupertino CA - Spokesperson Evilday Uckersay, of Asspull Computer, announced to a handful of reporters, assembled in a huge auditorium, that the new Asspull Watch is deliberately designed to slow you down and make you late after one year of use. H...Read full story
Lempit Opik to give Donald Trump careers advice
Beanpole, former stand up comedian, harmonica and spoon player, politician and surprisingly popular with the ladies, Lempit Opik is to give Donald Trump careers advice. In January 2018, Donald Trump will be taking lessons in re-invention from Mado...Read full story
Strange Man Shoots Innocent Bystander In The Middle Of 5th Avenue In New York And Gets Away With It.
A man stood brazenly in the middle of 5th Venue yesterday and shot someone dead. And got away with it. To most eyes it was just another homicide in a city inured to violence. It, however, had a few different twists than your usual murder. First...Read full story
Steve Jobs' death was fake!
The death of Steve Jobs had a lot of people crying and depressed, but just a few hours ago experts confirmed his death was a fake. When rescue teams found him he claimed that he faked his death because he didn't know how to tell his wife he cheat...Read full story
Santa Claus converts to Islam
F.B.I. Headquarters - Children around the Earth will be disappointed to learn that Santa has converted to Islam and will not be visiting this year. In fact he is being held by the F.B.I., according to our source, agent Smith, on complaints of animal...Read full story
Major Television Networks fight for the Award of Worst Primetime Line-Ups of 2017
Christmas has now come and gone. The year is wrapping up and many people across the nation are getting ready for their end of the year celebrations. 2017 was a year that many wish they could forget, and well, what better way to forget about what is r...Read full story
Hillary Exposed Again Masquerading As Department Store Santa
Seattle, Washington - As I reported last year, during the Christmas holidays and after the presidential election, Hilary Clinton was caught masquerading as Santa in an iconic downtown New York City department store and arrested. Store management got...Read full story
Donkey saved in Lincolnshire claims he's Jesus's donkey!
Christmas always provides us with miserable and wonderful stories, and this story has hit the hearts of donkey and Jesus lovers in the UK! A donkey, that appeared from nowhere tied up on a supermarket forecourt was on its last legs until a donkey...Read full story
Sucking on a banana in Egypt is forbidden in pop videos, sucking hairy coconuts is OK though!
Female Egyptian pop stars have been banned from eating, sucking, or peeling bananas in their videos after a young, Egyptian, female pop singer, feeling hungry on set, decided to suck on one, and was imprisoned for the pleasure! The Egyptian author...Read full story
Proclaimers fan gives up after a mile
Wayne Hemmingway, (no, not that one) a life long fan of popular singing twins The Proclaimers has given up on his pledge to walk 500 miles for his ex-wife after only one mile, and two blisters that are absolute agony. The overweight love rat met h...Read full story
Penis Pumps: Draining The Swamp In Washington
BILLINGSGATE POST: Drifting under the cover of shadows that share the darkness enveloping the Beltway in Washington, the organic throb of millions of penis pumps might someday be utilized to drain the murky swamp that smothers everyday political re...Read full story
Candidate for US judicial position did not know who Charles Manson is!
After searching high and low for candidates to slip into the US judicial world, naturally trimmed in the philosophy of the current US president, it seems that knowledge of the system requires only one thing; to say yes to Sir Donald! One candidate...Read full story
Trump Judicial Nominee Petersen: "District 9" Was a Great Movie
Washington - Matthew Petersen, Donald Trump's nominee for a judicial appointment to the Ninth District Court of Appeals, was forced to withdraw his name from consideration after failing to answer basic questions about law from a congressional committ...Read full story
Dicken's three ghosts now doing everything by email
The ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and yet to come now do all of their work by email, it has been revealed. Speaking to us, for the first time since 2008, the three ghosts have told us that due to the amount of greed, and lack of basic humanity,...Read full story
Vladimir Putin Top Secret Meeting With Oliver Stone
The Kremlin, Moscow. President Vladimir Putin is at it again, ladies and gents. And this time it involves a secret movie project, super hush hush, sealed in absolute hermetism. US President Donald Trump is on a need to know basis only. And so are oth...Read full story
Buckingham Palace is not listed on Trivago
There was consternation today at the White House, when it was revealed that Buckingham Palace is not listed on Trivago. Wotsit Madeyernameup, a spokesman for the White House said:'It is quite shocking really. There I was looking for a place for Pr...Read full story
Local Man has bad Dreams, turns himself into Police*
Portland. A local man, Carl Schlipty, a faucet hinge cleaner, turned himself into to police custody recently after experiencing several "unsettling" dreams involving tornadoes. "I was afraid I'd be a danger to myself and to others. I just couldn...Read full story
Trump Gets Wiping Papers
While the rest of us were sitting down for Christmas Dinner, our Commander In Chief was working out a tough situation in the White House bathroom. After hours of pushing, it seemed the deal was just not going to gain the necessary backing to meet th...Read full story
World Rejoices - Hillary Book Tour Finally Ends
As the world is about to celebrate one of the most momentous events in human history, the birth of Jesus Christ. An equally extraordinary event, the end of Hillary Clinton's "What Happened" book tour which has lasted month, after month, after painsta...Read full story
Donald Trump doesn't understand whole concept of Pantomime
Donald Trump doesn't understand whole concept of Pantomime US President Donald Trump doesn't understand the whole concept of Pantomime, reveals former White House whipping boy Sean Spicer. Apparently, the practice of seeing former television st...Read full story
Infowars' Alex Jones Takes Weekend Course in Law, Gets Trump Nomination as U.S. Judge
Austin, Texas - Alex Jones, controversial conspiracy theorist, alt-right radio host and internet personality, has been nominated by the Trump administration to a federal judgeship for the U.S. Fourth District Court of Appeals. "I am a longtime fol...Read full story
Trump Eliminates Seat Belt Requirement as "Burdensome"
MAR-A-LAGO, Dec. 25. From the Christmas White House, President Donald J. Trump today signed an executive order removing all federal regulations requiring automotive seat belts. At the same time, he ordered the Justice Department to begin legal procee...Read full story
Kim Jong-Un Will Not Allow North Korea Christmas Unless He Can Be " Christmas Kim"
Pyongang, North Korea In a move which surprised no one, Kim Jong Un announced that there would be no singing or drinking allowed on Christmas Day. There would also be no joy or happiness allowed on December 25. Most of the North Koreans figured it was just business as usual. But they found out how serious it was when new rules were posted: 1. First instance of singing or drinking would be...Read full story
Mainstream Media Found to be Biased Against Narcissistic, Incoherent, Divisive Pathological Liars
Washington - A new Pew Research report, issued yesterday, has concluded that most mainstream media outlets like CNN, New York Times, Bloomberg, and CNBC are totally biased against Presidents and other government officials who are mumbling, hateful je...Read full story
Wrapping Paper Is the Dark Lord's Gift to the Holiday Season, a Bowed and Ribboned Middle Finger to Humanity
You want presents? Ha-ha, first you must skillfully fold this multi-colored sheet of wrinkles into an immaculate presentation worthy of the gift it conceals. Good luck fucker! Gather round my legions of the damned and look on as this fool tries to cr...Read full story
First Day Of Christmas, Trump Out Of White House
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Trump out of the White House, and a Partridge in a Pear Tree. On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Trump out, Hillary in, and a Partridge in a Pear Tree. On the third...Read full story
Ilsa's One Day Back on Earth
Ilsa stood before St. Peter, wringing her hands nervously. She had been reluctant to make the request, and now that she had, she worried that a denial would also come with a black mark against her name on the roll book. Surely her request would be viewed as something other than selfish. She only wanted to return for a day to bring some joy to her husband, not for anything that would primarily b...Read full story
Mama Llama's Fried Chicken from game Simcity becoming reality
The game Simcity was a hit game on P.C. and as a mobile app. So if you want to build, hmm I don't know maybe a fried chicken place then you could build Mama LLama's Fried Chicken. But who knew that this masterpiece would become reality. The place...Read full story
Brexit Internet turkeys flying off shelves were rancid!
A UK supermarket flogging "Brexited" turkeys over the internet were 'not gobbled up' after discovering many of them were rancid! Irate Christmas Dinner lovers in many families all over the UK had their feast ruined by non-EU turkeys that obviously...Read full story
Dennis the Menace is no longer a Menace, he's a 2018 Hoodie Thug!
Since 1938, Dennis the Menace, has been entertaining kids all over the planet with his mischievous behavior, naughty pranks, and generally doing things that 10 year-old boys loved to do! Hiding frogs in mum and dad's bed, throwing paper pellets at...Read full story
Alabama Says It Will Secede from the Union Unless Roy Moore Is Seated in the Senate
Montgomery, AL--Gov. Kay Ivey announced, after Judge Roy Moore's loss to Democrat Doug Jones, that unless Moore is seated in the Senate, despite his electoral loss to Jones, Alabama will secede from the Union, and expects other southern states to fol...Read full story
White House Doctors Find Putin's Glove Inside President Trump's Anal Cavity
What started out as a routine physical,turned into quite a spectacle Monday morning when Bethesda Maryland urologist Dr.Tuchifilli was performing the annual colonoscopy as part of a standard cancer screening for the 70 year old president. "At firs...Read full story
World warned not to download software from Russia, Iran or North Korea
Britain's cyber chief has warned governments across the globe to beware of Russia computer programs that may damage their operating system. The head of the National Cyber Security Centre revealed that the Polonium Utility, marketed by Spetsnaz Sof...Read full story
Flynn Suspected by Mueller of "Doing a Tenth of All the Bad Things Hillary Did"
Washington - Former Trump Administration National Security Advisor Michael Flynn has come under suspicion by Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller's team of criminal activity totaling roughly 10 percent of the similar misdeeds Flynn had attributed to Hil...Read full story
Girl injured by Disney-themed shampoo writes parody that goes viral
Tiffany Johnson has recovered from her injuries from the Frozen shampoo and has written a parody to the Frozen theme song, Let It Go. According to her lyrics: It's funny how this shampoo, makes everything feel cold. The places where it injure...Read full story
Franken Decides Not to Resign, Will Instead Switch Parties and Become a Republican
Washington - Senator Al Franken, under extreme pressure from members of the Democratic Party to resign his post because of admitted sexual misconduct, has announced this morning that he will remain in office, and also that he has changed his party af...Read full story
Massed Mumblings signify the beginning of 2018
Around the country, families, friends and work colleagues are currently planning for the massed mumbling of Auld Lang Syne. The song, written by Scottish Poet Robert Burns is only really known for its first verse and chorus (much like the national a...Read full story
Republicans, Jubilant Over Tax Win, Draft New Bill Allowing Only Large Donors to Vote
Washington - Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, flush with success after the House narrowly approved the tax cut bill, a version of which also closely passed in the Senate last night, is said to be considering even more unpopular initiatives in an attem...Read full story
Leaked transcript from secret meeting between Donald Trump & Roy Moore
Donald Trump: "You're going to do amazing things for the great state of Alabama, Roy. Now get out there and grab em by the pussy!" Roy Moore: "Oh I get it now! You meant it as an expression! Like 'go get em' or 'break a leg.' This damn Fake News i...Read full story
Trump Beheads Bears Ears, plans partial decapitation of Mount Rushmore
Somewhere in Utah. After chopping off the head of Bears Ears National Monument, Utah, Trump is now honing his Trump© axe, according to several unnamed high-ranking sources, to hack away at just about all of this country's national parks. "It...Read full story
WH Secretary, "Mueller's Office Extremely Rude"
White House receptionist claims that Robert Mueller's Office is very rude and unprofessional. Moments after Michael Flynn turned himself in, Mueller called Trump, who was unavailable. Michael Flynn has been cooperating with authorities and has be...Read full story
Don't Let Al Franken Resign
Democrats are eating their own. Forcing Senator Al Franken out of elected office due to improprieties performed before becoming a Senator or during a USO tour, appears to be a knee-jerk reaction to Harvey Weinstein's repetitive predatory behavior. Cl...Read full story
Trump's Miracle Bone Spur Cure
Mar-A-Lago, FL Doctors remarked about Trump's extraordinary good luck in having a full recovery from the bone spurs that kept him out of the service. "It's truly a miracle" said the head doctor. "He was able to play football, tennis, golf and squa...Read full story
GOP Leaders: Voters Will Reject Us at the Polls Unless We Pass Really Unpopular Legislation
Washington - Republican House Speaker Paul Ryan and joint committees of the House and Senate worked feverishly into the evenings this week to product a tax reform bill in the next few weeks. The urgency of getting a bill to the President's desk by t...Read full story
High Danish Druggie jumps in a taxi driven by police!
In a state of "Man this is so cool and I'm really floating, man!" A Danish pot smoking, high as a kite, gentleman, became so disorientated after spending all afternoon, and evening, puffing pot, he ordered a taxi to take him back to Christiana. An ar...Read full story
John Conyers: HANDS UP! (Her Thigh In Church) DON'T SHOOT!
BILLINGSGATE POST: In the aftermath of the shooting of Michael Brown by a police officer in Ferguson, Missouri, protesters would confront cops by screaming "HANDS UP! DON"T SHOOT" whenever there was a demonstration in cities throughout the United St...Read full story
Al Frankenfarter resigns from Senate to run for POTUS
Washington D.C. (NYT) Al Frankenfarter sobbed through an emotional press conference yesterday where he revealed that he is God's gift to women. He revealed that he has been fighting so that women will be respected everywhere. He claims it is u...Read full story
Al Gore Releases 3rd Movie, "An Inconvenient Bitch Session"
Tennessee Somewhere - Al Gore has just released his 3rd movie regarding climate change, and people are really buzzing about this latest effort, "An Inconvenient Bitch Session." In this movie (if you can call it that) Gore takes a bit of a left tur...Read full story
Britain's post-Brexit EU role confirmed to be that of "annoying friend"
Britain is leaving the EU, but that doesn't mean for a minute that it is going to disappear. It is going to hang around the EU and hover over their conversations like a ghost. Prime Minister Theresa May has admitted as much when she said that she wou...Read full story
Alabama Voters"Not Quite as Creeped Out" by Roy Moore After Watching Steve Bannon
Mobile, AL - After viewing news reports featuring a speech by former White House Chief Strategist Steve Bannon at a campaign rally in support of U.S. Senate candidate Roy Moore, many Alabamians interviewed afterward said they were not quite as distur...Read full story
If Trump Only Had a Brain
Dorothy: What would Trump do with a brain if he had one? Do? Why, if Trump had a brain he'd . . . . He would while away the hours Conferin' with white papers And consultin' with his aides. And his hair he'd be scratchin' While solutions he was hatchin' If he only had a brain. He'd not waste his time on Twitter, Attacking every critter, In trouble or in pain. With the thoughts h...Read full story
Ivanka, We Need to Talk
Ivanka, it's Jared. We need to talk. It's about your dad and this whole Russia thing. I can't do what you're expecting me to do. Flynn just turned himself in, and you know, I'm the one who told Flynn to cut the deal on the sanctions. Your dad made me. But now your dad says he can't recall that, and he's going to throw me under the bus. He promises a pardon, and says I will never go to j...Read full story
Trump Reshapes World
After arbitrarily deciding to change the location of the U.S. embassy for Israel from Tel Aviv to Israel, Trump announced other changes to be implemented right away. "I will be changing the capital of North Korea from Pongyang to Seoul, where it should have been anyways. I am changing the capital of Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, and Uzbekistan to Moscow, because...Read full story
Mystery Surrounds Disappearance of Far Side Cartoonist Gary Larson
Mysterious was the disappearance of Gary Larson, the famed and beloved creator of the popular cartoon series The Far Side. One day a successful, widely popular genius behind one of the world's top selling daily cartoons, the next day missing without a clue. Conspiracy theories abound as to what became of him, but perhaps no one will ever know the answer. Witness accounts vary. His neighbor, Car...Read full story
Lost Star Trek Episode Found - Sulu Socks It To Spock
Captain's Log Stardate 2265 - Sulu Socks It To Spock Captain's Log: Stardate 2265- Captain James T. Kirk speaking- The following disturbing incidents occurred verbatim as I have recorded them here below: At 18:45 and 33 seconds Caldushian time I was approached by Science Officer Spock with a report- Spock: Captain, I wish to discuss with you a disturbing development. Myself: Yes Spo...Read full story
Reflections on Real Life - Brit Nitwit cements microwave to his cracked head hoping for some warm vibes!
The extent of British eccentricity is renowned around the planet, thank you Mr.Bean! However, sometimes the boundaries of Brits being totally bonkers (I also am quite a nutter) are taken a step too far as in the case of one total crank who cemented a...Read full story
Oh little town of Bethlehem, why must thy children die? - A sad reflection on the Israeli/Palestinian turmoil
Bethlehem, West Bank. In response to violent Palestinian protests against President Donald Trump's decision to move the U. S. embassy in Israel to Jerusalem, Israeli tanks and other military units have moved into Bethlehem, resulting in several civilian deaths, including that of a young girl. The incidents, at Christmastime, cast a shadow over holiday celebrations. Above the din of exploding b...Read full story
"No, Henry, We Won't Publish Your 'Liberty or Death" Op-Ed"
SUBJECT: OP-ED SUBMISSION: "LIBERTY OR DEATH" FROM: oped@Richmondgazette.com DATE: March 20, 1775 To: Henry@Burgesses.va.gov ---------------- My Dear Henry: Pardon my informality with regard to your name, but I am a recent hire here at the Richmond Gazette, having just arrived from New York where I was editorial page editor of The Times, [the New Amsterdam Times] and I am unfamiliar with...Read full story
Brexit is a "biscuit game" to the Tories
The UK government consists of many ex-public school toffs, so it comes as little surprise to learn that foreign secretary Boris Johnson believes that the Brexit negotiations are like "a game of soggy biscuit". He explained further, "the people ba...Read full story
Liverpool fashion addict believes a cold crotch in winter is better than a warm pair of woolly knickers!
Liverpool, UK: A young lady spotted walking down a Scouse street without knickers, and nothing else apart from a fur coat and ear muffs, flashed her rosy-colored bum to the neighbours and they called the cops believing there was a loony on the loose...Read full story
Trump's Jerusalem victory will turn the tide in the war on Christmas
The war on Christmas is eternal, and will only be won when Jesus Christ himself returns and everyone in the world is dead. Today that glorious day came a step closer when Donald Trump effectively reclaimed Jerusalem as the capital of Christianity, pr...Read full story
Nick Clegg says 'You'll address me as Sir, you little gob-shite'
Newly Knighted, former deputy prime Minister Nick Clegg has told his former boss, David (Dave to my mates) Cameron, 'You'll address me as Sir, you little gob-shite'. The altercation took place in a part of London, where the former colleagues met,...Read full story
We at Back and to the Left news were unable to avoid eye contact with Ed Sheeran today and we ended up conducting an interview with him. I've just written the theme song to the new James Bond Movie! Ed we couldn't give less of a shit. Nobo...Read full story
Bing Crosby Chrissy classic banned at Brit University!
"I'm dreaming of a WHITE Christmas," a Bing Crosby Christmas classic pop song, has been classified as "RACIST" by students dreaming of a romp in the snow! It seems a snow blizzard entered the heads of the students as they inquired into whether the...Read full story