There were 118 spoof news stories published in October 2017. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
74 year-old Ninja cat burglar faster than Japanese police!
Osaka, Japan: A spate of robberies bamboozled Japanese police in Osaka as every time the cat burglar struck he was so fast nobody could catch him! Dressed in a Ninja outfit, the police thought he must be an upset Ninja warrior frustrated at not be...Read full story
After Trump.com™ challenge to Tillerson, MENSA design a special Moron IQ Test
After Tillersons outburst about the overall mental incompetency of the president, Trump.com™ has challenged him to an IQ competition. Early details of what MENSAs Special Moron IQ Test will look like have been leaked to this reporter exclusi...Read full story
Push up bra sales droop as big boob fashion sags!
It seems the days of huge silicone boobs, coconut like pairs of perfectly formed plastic surgeon tits bulging out of low cut dresses is over! London bra retailers are noticing a huge 'sag' in their sales heading towards the Christmas rush for larg...Read full story
All Men Will Now Be Required to Wear Body Cameras
WORLD- Following the explosive revelations about movie mogul Harvey Weinstein's years of predatory sexual behavior, the virality of assault victim hashtag #Metoo, and the growing number of other men being outed as sexual predators, the World has deci...Read full story
Donald Trump and Kim Jong-Un Trade Places
[Associated Press, October 17, 2017] In an event so secret that even the President's closest advisors were kept in the dark about it, Donald Trump swapped places with Kim Jong-un, the leader of North Korea. For seven days, the President basked in...Read full story
South African lesbians form rugby team!
Cauliflower ears, broken noses and limbs all belong to one of the most robust sports known to man, and now to lesbians! A group of South African lesbians felt it would be quite 'butch' to have a rough, tumble and scrum and prove to the world how manl...Read full story
Writer Refuses Spoof-ploitation, Quits, Plans March
Portland. Highly regarded yet little-known Spoof writer, LeRoy Ephers, has decided that enough is enough. After 300 brilliantly written stories, and two so-so jokes, for both the U.S. and the U. K., he's going to hang up writing for The Spoof, des...Read full story
A Psychic Reveals His 2017 Celebrity Predictions
The Amazing Fernando, a clairvoyant (and part time locksmith), has disclosed his latest celebrity predictions, making the world privy to the spooky insights of a man clinically proven to have the psychic ability of fourteen men and a horse. "And n...Read full story
Hey girls, here's 20 things to tell Harvey Weinstein to get out of his clutches -
1) Harvey, my boyfriend is a bodyguard for Vladimir Putin. On weekends, he bounces at biker bars. 2) Harvey, my boyfriend only plays chess with serial killers. The loser always gets hacked to pieces with a machete'. 3) Harvey, I have a headache...Read full story
Eminem and Kid Rock Battle!
Rapper Eminem and Rap Clown Kid Rock, both from the state of Michigan, are on opposite ends of the political cycle. Kid Rock has visited Trump in the White House and Eminem has released a scathing vivisection of Trump in a new rap. Eminem challeng...Read full story
Anthony Bourdain Accidentally Eats A 'National Treasure'
Anthony Bourdain, the star of CNN's "Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown" was criticized by the Chinese Government yesterday for accidentally hunting down and eating Ling Pao, China's most celebrated panda. "Well first off, I was really drunk," Mr.Read full story
Michelin Man's Comment Draws The Ire Of Fellow Corporate Mascots
The Michelin Man has always been synonymous with tires. He's also been mutual for being dramatically over-weight in a culture that worships 'the body beautiful'. But on Tuesday, the Michelin Man, during a press conference to announce Michelin's...Read full story
Former Child Star Receives Hollywood's Most Prestigious Award
Emmanuel Lewis, the star of the 1980s sitcom "Webster", was awarded the distinguished 'Dignity Prize' in Los Angeles last night by the National Academy of Self-Esteem, a rare honor bestowed upon former celebrities who have never appeared in a shamefu...Read full story
Leah Remini Abruptly Reverses Her Condemnation of Scientology
"King of Queens" star Leah Remini has fully recanted all the negative statements she recently made on A&E's "Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath", a program that criticized the religion for being devious, highly secretive and violent towar...Read full story
Trump sucks egg out of chicken during interview
As if the Trump presidency hadn't already provided us with enough surreal moments, an interview on the CNCB channel last night gave us a whole new dimension to his state of mind. While answering a question about trade embargoes with China, Trump...Read full story
Sex-Doll brothel called a "Bordoll" opens up in Germany!
Deutsche Fraulein's of the night are mega out as a new rage is flooding the underworld in Germany! Open-minded Germans (or perverts) are flocking to the latest trend in fetish satisfaction, plastic Chinese sex-dolls! Jaggedone previously reported...Read full story
A Superstar Pulls Back The Curtain
Superstar Rihanna recently granted exclusive access to a 'day-in-her-life', shedding an intimate spotlight on one America's most talented performers. But before the outing began, we first had to find our way through Rihanna's staff, which inclu...Read full story
We Dislike Morrissey
Being as open minded, charismatic and good looking as we are we at Back and to the Left news often change our opinions on things. Except Morrissey. Fuck Morrissey. We were informed that he courted controversy at a gig, we assumed it's because even...Read full story
In Defense Of Harvey Weinstein
Yes, Harvey Weinstein practiced some questionable office procedures during his successful film career at Miramax and The Weinstein company, but no one has described Harvey as an "F…ing moron" as Secretary of State (and top diplomat) Rex Tillerson is...Read full story
Newly Invented Pill Cures Hangovers
A group of scientist at Boozeyman Pharmaceuticals have developed a pill which cures hangovers. The pill, named Soberhop, is to be taken after one's last drink and takes no more than 2 minutes to completely sober up the recipient, regardless of how m...Read full story
Mattis and Kelly hire Kaepernick to tackle Trump.com™ if he goes for the nuke football
The Whitehouse generals are so worried about an accidental nuclear war that Trump.com™ might start in a fit of blind rage and spite they have hired Kaepernick to tackle the president if he lunges for the nuke football. They said he seemed a...Read full story
Penn State Banned from Post-Season Bowl Games
With the Nittany Lions headed for a championship bowl game with top-ranked Alabama following Penn State's trouncing of rival Michigan, the decision announced today banning the university's marching band from any post-season bowl performances was a re...Read full story
Trump Assigns Jered Kushner Job of Finding Out How to Control the Weather
Mar-A-Lago, Florida Trump's son-in-law and chief competition for the affection of his daughter Ivanka, Jared Kushner, has been assigned the task of finding out how to control the weather. This is added to Jared's other tasks including Middle Ea...Read full story
Moon Severely Damaged by Total Solar Eclipse
Mt. Palomar Observatory. Astronomers today confirmed what amateur moon gazers have been saying since late August: the moon is noticeably paler than it was before the total solar eclipse of Aug. 21. Offering an explanation devoid of scientific jargon...Read full story
Bill Cosby's Fat Albert to Return to Network TV as a Secret Sexual Predator
Network officials announced that the popular cartoon character of 40 years ago, Fat Albert, will be returning to the small screen. In his previous incarnations, Fat Albert was mainly just an obese, untidy, ill-mannered buffoon, but in the new cart...Read full story
"Workers are bunch of Nutters," UK scientists say!
A theory often quoted by "numero uno" Spoofer, Jaggedone, and top global Nutter, has been confirmed by Brit scientists in a survey confirming that people who work are totally and utterly insane! "The world is bonkers," claimed Jaggedone many years...Read full story
Gay tarantulas' behaviour revealed
Most people have heard of gay penguins, but gay spiders? Professor Quentin Webb of the University of West Ingtime has spent years studying them and has published his astonishing findings. According to Professor Webb, homosexuality is rampant among...Read full story
Concerns Escalate Over Hillary Clinton's Post-Election Behavior
The loss of a U.S. presidential election can be personally devastating. Yet even after the most heartbreaking defeats, most politicians seeking America's highest office absorb the blow, recalculate their strategy and set a path towards new political...Read full story
Bankrupt Boris Becker's sexy broom cupboard is on the market for 225.000 nicker!
An infamous ex-broom cupboard in Kensington, London, has gone on the market for a quarter of a million quid after being turned into an apartment where swinging cats should be avoided! Boris Becker, thrice ex-Wimbledon winner, and now the eternal l...Read full story
Fingerprints on condoms can get you locked up!
Scientists in the UK are doing tests that can prove men using condoms actually handled them by finding their fingerprints, even after use (unless she puts it on)! This knowledge will be invaluable for tracking down rapists or flashers, who never u...Read full story
Anthony Weiner Parlays His Fetish Into A Major Motion Picture
At first they were the catalyst for national embarrassment. Then the sordid events cost a rising democratic star his political future. And when the New York City tabloids were done with the sleazy imbroglio, the man behind the 'bulging' cell phone ph...Read full story
Hillary renamed book "I Fart"
In an effort to boost flagging sales, the notorious loser, Hillary, has renamed her losing 'book', from the insipid "What Happened?", to "I Fart". The new publisher selected for this new edition is a little known vanity publisher the name of which w...Read full story
Riverdale Season 2 Spoilers Leaked
Season 2 of CW's hit show Riverdale, based on the Archie Comics, is slated to begin airing on Wednesday, October 11, with all new surprises, including new cast members. Season 1 is available on Netflix. Information about the new season has been lea...Read full story
Sales of Bullshit detectors fall
Businesses have revealed a dramatic fall in the sale of Bullshit detectors over the past decade. Professor Smidgen from the Institute of fictional studies said: 'With the prevalence of social media, an idiot for a President, and the things your gr...Read full story
Under Trump Tax Plan, the Rich Will Get Tax Cuts and the Middle Class Will Get Snack Vouchers
Washington, DC In his heavily-promoted tax plan, Trump trumpeted how the middle class would be overwhelmed by the various snack vouchers they would get under the new tax plan. "I'm telling you, the middle class will totally freak out when they se...Read full story
Major League Baseball Denies Their Broadcasts Are Oversaturated With In-Game Advertising
Major League Baseball took a swing yesterday at baseball fans who felt too much in-game advertising was plaguing the sport. "Fans are inflating the issue", said Baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred while selling T-Mobile ad space on the hip of an obe...Read full story
Twitter tries to thin tempers through text tones
As well as doubling the number of characters that can be used in a tweet, Twitter has decided to change some of its colour as well. Mr Amstrad from Twitter said: "We have had a number of complaints from a few overly-sensitive types. You know, they...Read full story
Man reported shouting at a Sports Game on his TV. Suspecting possible self-harming, Police taser and kill him to protect him.
In Canberra Australia and man who was a bit drunk and was shouting in his lounge room was deemed to be a huge public risk and was tasered to death. Police say he was shouting nasty things at them, like get out of my house you pack of storm trooper...Read full story
Southgate V Slovenia
England's managerial waterboy, Gareth Southgate, has sensationally admitted that "some if not all" of his current squad don't deserve to be there! England are scheduled to play Slovenia tonight and Gareth is obviously worried about the threat the...Read full story
A Call From The White House Leaves Astronauts Confused
President Trump called the International Space Station today to congratulate Commander Peggy Whitson for spending a record-breaking 534 days in orbit over her entire career as as astronaut, and the astronaut became dumbfounded when Mr. Trump asked he...Read full story
Scientists Announce that Trump is Good for the Mood of the Country
Science Town, USA Although Trump seems to be an enemy of science, denying global warming, etc., social scientists tracking the mood of the country announced that Trump is good for the country, although he seems to be making lots of wrong moves, resul...Read full story
"Strictly come dancing" with the dead in Madagascar means "show time!"
Strictly come dancing, the show every senile person all over the planet loves to watch has a completely different version in Madagascar! Instead of admiring celebs, sport stars, ex-boxers, politicians, star chefs, etc, making tits of themselves at...Read full story
Hershey's Kisses Sold in China Include Fortunes
Beijing, China - Americans love their fortune cookies and consume nearly three billion fortune cookies each year. Americans who eat at Chinese restaurants typically read their fortunes aloud at the end of their meals. But citizens of China have n...Read full story
Jealous Japanese transgender fish kill both their male or female competitors!
It's a well known fact that female praying mantis and several spider species gobble up their male partners after copulation! However, scientists have now discovered a species of Japanese transgender fish that fight underwater fishy wars because they...Read full story
Melania Pens Trump's Resignation Speech
Donald, see my suggested speech below for when you resign. I saw it somewhere and all I had to do was change a few words around. I think it's sounds good: At a moment when it seems that our democracy is more defined by our discord and our dysfunction than by our own values and principles, let me begin by noting the somewhat obvious point that these offices that we hold are not ours indefinite...Read full story
Highlights from the newly released JFK Files Raise Eyebrows, Possibly Implicate Marilyn Monroe
As conspiracy theorists are frothing at the mouth to find a smoking gun in the many newly released JFK files, they may be side-tracked by details contained in some of the more obscure documents. A few of the highlights: (1) J. Edgar Hoover wo...Read full story
Elon Musk wants to watch people die on Mars
To some, he is an eccentric billionaire inventor who dreams of colonising Mars, cartoon-style transport systems, and other futuristic enterprises. To others, he is simply an arsehole. Elon Musk has said previously that he would like to send a huma...Read full story
Parents who get pissed in front of their kids could damage them!
UK scientists, after studying the behavior of kids witnessing their parents boozing have come to the conclusion; it is bad for them! This 'rocket science' discovery will rock the medical fraternity and hopefully teach binge drinking parents, who d...Read full story
It's Halloween morning. You're curled up in bed reading a book on your new Kindle. It's light as a feather and holds tons of books. Ah, the new technology. Isn't it wonderful? You get up and head to the kitchen for a glass of orange juice. Eek! There is none. Thank goodness you invested in a "smart" refrigerator, programmed to automatically inventory and re-order some basic items. You g...Read full story
L plated teenager of a muck-spreading tractor driver didn't need a Ferrari or Lamborghini to pull women!
A teenage tractor driver donning L plates whilst driving around the Irish city of Derry at midnight was pulled over by the police and asked, "what the hell are you doing out here in the middle of the night? The learner driver who was feeling quit...Read full story
Dotard Buffoon Clown finally responds to Honky Cats Big Hats™ and Gay Advocate Lumo Scarfs™, but Fashion Gurus less than impressed
After the extreme success of Honky Cats Big Hats™ and Gay Advocate Buffoon Clowns Lumo Scarfs™, Dotard Buffoon Clown has belatedly released his new line of Children's Terrorists Party Wear™. However despite the fashion industries...Read full story
Catweazle is alive and kicking!
Time-travelling, mesmerizing, magician, Catweazle, has informed Jaggedone through another time-travelling giant, Erskine Quint (renowned for his historical history-changing epic called, Journey to the center of the cerebral cortex published by a publ...Read full story
UK psychopathic doberman tennis ball killer has belly ache!
Doberman dogs are usually used as superb guard dogs, or Hitler's favorite animal for chasing "Untermenschen" if trained incorrectly! However, there is one dumb doberman residing in Geordieland, Sunderland, to be precise, that would not qualify to do...Read full story
Everyone Safe After Florida Man Guns Down Intruders
A Florida man and his family are safe, thanks to his quick thinking, and gunning down intruders on his front stoop. "I heard a knock at the door," says Robert, a thirty six year old white male from Tampa. "I grabbed my AR33 assault rifle and went...Read full story
New feminist org petitions FDA to stop manufacture of testosterone drugs!
A new feminist organization calling itself the..."Alt Pussy" has announced its petition to the FDA to curtail all manufacturing of testosterone drugs in the USA. The group is made up primarily of women harassed by Harvey Weinstein, Bill O'Reilly and...Read full story
Painful ingrown penis removal videos to trend online predicts doctor pimple popper
Los Angeles, CA - In an exclusive interview with Dr. Pimple Popper, who called our newsroom's deviant hotline, the next big thing in medical videos will be painful ingrown penis removal videos shot at home. The doctor would not reveal her sources, b...Read full story
Lady Sybilla Beheads Rex Tillerson as Blood Sacrifice to Vladimir Putin
Our ears are buzzing with rumors about the Russian scandal that never happened. Some call it #RussiaGate. Others call it #TrumpRussia, and yet others refer to it as "the Russia narrative." No matter what you call it, you cannot escape from the bl...Read full story
Trump Will Send Tiffany and Eric Trump to North Korea to Negotiate with Kim Jong Un
Mar-A-Lago, Florida President Trump commented from his golf course in Florida that he was too busy to try and solve the "North Korea" problem himself, but that he was sending his two wonderful children, Brittany and Barry, to work things out with Ro...Read full story
Trump sending a bill to congress to change the country's name.
Donald J. Trump has proposed to change the name of the country to the United States of Covfefe. His mysterious tweet that trended on social media was aplarently alluding to this bizarre event. We asked Sarah Huckabee Sanders about why he would do...Read full story
Putin trumps Honky Cat Buffoon Clown Big-Hats™ with Lumo-Hats™
After Honky Cats Big-Hats™ play for domination of the Buffoon Clown Axis of Evil, Bear Rider Buffoon Clown is making a big move from left field. He is releasing the Kremlins next secret weapon after the successful deployment of Twitter Twatter...Read full story
Five-legged lamb saved from butchers shop as it does a runner!
A sheep farm near, York UK, has hit the headlines after a lamb born with five legs was heading for the butcher's bench, but instead it did a runner! The lamb was then caught by a passing vet who thought it was quite odd seeing a rather wobbly five...Read full story
Unknown cook wins Chef of the Year award
A restaurant owner in Wales has won the prestigious Chef of the Year award for 2017. It is a trophy given by the International Food Tasters And Gluttons of Paris, and is highly regarded. The winner Geoff Fork, 46, of Swansea, was surprised at the res...Read full story
Trump Threatens to Nuke FBI Headquarters if They Don't Lay Off the Russian Investigation
Mar-A-Lago, FL President Trump insinuated that if the FBI and the fake news press wanted to see him start a nuclear war with North Korea, that they should just keep up the phoney Russian investigation. "I already gave them the perpretator of the w...Read full story
Dateline Washington: IQ Tests, Diapers, and WW III
NEWS BRIEF Washington DC. The White House. In an apparent moment of rare confusion, President Trump challenged Senator Bob Corker to an IQ test, saying, "You're too short to be smarter than me." Corker responded, "Oh, go have your diaper cha...Read full story
Pensioner beats the crap out of jewelry thieves with an umbrella!
Mayfair, London, yesterday: A bunch of moronic thieves attempted to break into a jewelry shop wielding sledge hammers, knives and anything else they could get their hands on. Then, after arriving on scooters, the latest trend in armed robbery in L...Read full story
Oliver Twist returns to haunt school in North London!
Charles Dickens depiction of life in Victorian orphanages, Oliver Twist, has now been turned into a 2017 reality horror show by a bunch of Scrooges who run a daily meal service in a Catholic school in North London! It seems as though little Oliver...Read full story
Homer Simpson beats Donald Trump in IQ test
The White House has reacted angrily to the result of an IQ contest which showed that Homer Simpson is smarter than President Trump. The cartoon hero scored in the low double digits and at least one point above his Presidential rival. It has been r...Read full story
Squirrel Bridge Construction Funding Eliminated, Squirrels now at Greater Risk
Spokane. The proposed "Squirrels at Twelve O'Clock High" overhead street bridge that would safely link squirrels from South Elm Street to North Elm Street may not be completed after all, due to a decision by the city council to eliminate all current...Read full story
Tragedy occurred in Lower Upper Middle Poppleton on Gastric By The Bypass as a parade to commemorate the 1956 tractor disaster ended in disaster. Back and to the Left news investigates......at the end of this sentence....from here.... In 1956 fort...Read full story
From Kim Jong-Un's Recipe Book - Stuffed Dotard With Orange Sauce
Here is my recipe for Stuffed Dotard With Orange Sauce: 1 large dotard, about 250 pounds* 1 Twitter account 1-2 quarts orange hair dye Drench the top of the dotard with the orange hair dye. Wait 20 minutes for it to set. Dress the dotard in a conventional suit, or in traditional golf attire, with a cap that says "Make America Great Again." Heat the dotard up with a message on twitter, o...Read full story
Trump holds press briefing, no questions from silent press corps!
In a bizarre press briefing today, the White House press corps remained totally silent after President Donald Trump finished a ten minute dialogue on the accomplishments and successes of his administration. The Associated Pres is reporting that a...Read full story
Trump to decertify Columbus Day as national holliday!
In a midnight tweet last night President Donald Trump tweeted: "I will issue an executive order tomorrow to decertify Columbus DAY...why should just one city get a national holiday named for them...SAD!" In a 3:AM tweet he wrote: "Why not a Clevel...Read full story
In Reaction To Most Recent Mass Shooting, Gun Nuts Retaliate That Las Vegas Doesn't Exist
In a reaction to the almost universal condemnation of the biggest mass shooting in U.S. history, so-called 'American' gun nuts have retorted that the whole episode is just another great liberal hoax and that Las Vegas doesn't even exist. The Gun Enth...Read full story
ISIS Hires A Global PR Firm To Rebrand Its Image
ISIS enlisted a top public relations firm yesterday to help them achieve their long term propaganda goals in the hope of remaining relevant in a world inundated with other radical groups vying for the same terrorism headlines. "Allah told us to up...Read full story
Gun Nut Layme DeRierre Says the Real Victim in the Las Vegas Mass Shooting Was the Much-maligned AR-15 Assault Rifle
Fairfax, VA--Layme DeRierre, CEO and Executive Vice President of the Gun Nut's Lobby, today said that the true victim of the mass shooting in Las Vegas was the AR-15 assault rifle used to kill over fifty people, in what is now the largest mass shooti...Read full story
Donald Trump. For legal purposes we have to point out, again, that this man is the current President of the United States. Mr Trump has decreed that 25 of the most endangered species in the world no longer need the USA's conservation efforts. Below we obtained the list and his reasons why. 1. Pacific Walrus: Quite like seals and we have loads of them. No one would wake up one morning and go...Read full story
The Famous And Now Forgotten Word Warrior- The Paperclip Guy!
Do you remember way back in the foggy mist of Internet time the first and most infamous troll of all, the Paperclip Guy? He would always be lurking around the corner of any Word document you were typing; just waiting for his chance to add his two bits about what you were writing, like a Stasi spy eager for a promotion within the ranks. He considered himself the main protector and overseer of...Read full story
UK hospitals ban chocolates and fizzy drinks claiming their food is healthier?
Stodgy treacle puddings lashed with sugar-ridden custard, fatty meat, gravy, over-cooked tasteless vegetables, fried egg and bacon breakfasts with sugar-dosed cereals, and other hospital delicacies, are more healthy claim UK hospitals than chocolate!...Read full story
Trump.com™ issues Pre-emptive Pardon for Stone and Cohen ahead of Senate Testimony
In order to offer his Russian Money Laundering Allies some air coverage Trump.com™ has today issued 2 Pre-emptive Pardons for Stone and Cohen ahead to their senate testimony. This has caused the usual outrage amongst the establishment but is...Read full story
Harvey Feinstein To Challenge Dianne Weinstein In Senate Primary
BREAKING NEWS: BILLINGSGATE POST Crack investigative reporter Slim Everdingle writes that three sources with inside knowledge revealed to him that beleaguered prevert Harvey Feinstein intends to enter California's 2018 Senate race against Dianne Wei...Read full story
Deep in the bowel of the stately building that houses the United States Congress lies the little-known CBR -- the Congressional Ball Repository. (The CBR is, in fact, actually located below the bowel.) The balls of incumbent Senators and Representatives are stored in a small, dusty, and damp concrete chamber where they roll around on rough pine shelves and wither and dry out over time. The long...Read full story
Mueller drops Russian Investigtion after Trump.com™ and Putin assures him there was no collusion with Russia - Meanwhile Trump.com™ prepares Pre-emptive Pardon for Manfart and Cohorts
Despite 12 indictments for Trump.com™ associates he denies any collusion with Russia and it was purely coincidental Manfart was his campaign manager the same time he was receiving payments from a foreign power. Muellers strategy was up to no...Read full story
Hillary Clinton Breaks Toe Kicking London Reporter
London, England - "Hillary's Pity Party - I'm Unapologetic and still Relevant Tour" continues on unabated - now torturing the people of Europe. Yes, Hillary Clinton's "What Happened" never ending book tour, 30 plus days and counting, is still going o...Read full story
Trump Explains Why He is Running the Country Like His Old TV Show
Donald "President" Trump sat down with Faux & Friends today and talked about and explained his governing style. "I try to be the person the American public wants me to be. I know most people know me from my TV program, the Apprentice, which is only a good show if I'm in it by the way, just look at the ratings when they tried to get AHNOLD to play me." "So, in my program, I always fire pe...Read full story
Melania Trump Announces Her 'First Lady Cause'
First Ladies in America have always had a 'national cause': Laura Bush launched "Ready to Read, Ready to Learn" to prime children for the world of literature, Nancy Reagan promoted "Just Say No" to keep young people off drugs and Michelle Obama estab...Read full story
Trump Lets Slip that He Won't Help Puerto Rico After Hurricane Maria Because There Are Too Many Puerto Ricans There.
Washington, DC Carmen Cruz, the mayor of San Juan, Puerto Rico, the largest city and capital city of the island, recently chastised Trump and the federal government for their slow response to the Hurricane Maria tragedy that devastated Puerto Rico. W...Read full story
Manafort Deluge Has Begun
Following the multi-count indictment unsealed this morning against Paul Manafort, US Postal Inspectors have initiated intense scrutiny of Mr. Manafort's conventional snail mail. So far, by 2:00 PM EST Monday, Mr. Manafort has received 20,640 solic...Read full story
Bernie drafts new healthcare bill
Washington D.C. - Bernie has done it again. His new healthcare bill draft is pure genius. And it's not what you think. Inspired by the British national socialist medical pogrom, and Prince Charles' desire to be reincarnated as an AIDS virus, deta...Read full story
Cooking For A Queen
Always at the forefront of breaking news (or at the very least listening in on other peoples conversations) we spoke to the Queens ex chef to find out what grub she loved! An exquisitely tall gentlemen, easily approaching 9ft 5, his arms the lengt...Read full story
The Pussy Grabbing President
Women are no longer sacred, says General Kelly. Women used to know their place. They were sacred. Their place was in the kitchen and cleaning house. The church said so, too. Women silently existed within those walls, finally diving hands first in...Read full story
UK council fine woman because wind blew litter out of her rubbish bin!
As every person on the planet knows, the UK is a very windy island stuck in the North Sea! However, North London garbage wardens (new one to me? Are they little Hitler's like traffic wardens?) are obviously not meteorological experts, and decided to...Read full story
The Increased Use Of The 'More Money Than God' Adage Prompts Jesus To Reveal His Net Worth
You've heard the slogan a million times - 'He's got more money than God'. And every time you listened to the saying, there was never any documented funds to refer upon to support the outlandish claim. Well, now there is, thanks to Jesus officiall...Read full story
Steve Bannon Explains 'Grand Wizard' Visit At The White House
Steve Bannon, President Trump's former Chief Political Strategist, explained yesterday that the 'Grand Wizard' he invited to the White House Rose Garden was in fact 'Harry Potter'. "It was a complete misunderstanding," he said while ironing a Co...Read full story
A New Chair Helps Politicians Avoid The Issues
IKEA introduced a new chair yesterday specifically designed to help Washington, DC politicians pivot to another topic when asked an important question they have absolutely no intent on answering. And the chair, a Highback Evasion Elite, can easily...Read full story
Trump Wants to Meet With Queen About How to Become Royal
Mar-A-Lago, FL Trump tweeted today that he is having his staff try to arrange a visit with the Queen. Although previous inquiries have been ignored, Trump is certain she will respond this time due to the important cause of his visit. "I wish to co...Read full story
Hunter-Gatherer Adjusts Well to Office Work, Wins Employee of the Month
Editor's Note: Some so-called Brits are claiming this fake news story is a fake fake news story, due to its American English and colloquialisms, not to mention a total ignorance of the English countryside. Nothing could be further from the truth. It'...Read full story
Boy Scout's Diabolical Plot To Corner Girl Scout Cookie Market Revealed
ONLY IN AMERICA - The Boy Scouts of America last week announced that it would allow girls to participate in Cub Scouts and eventually earn the coveted Eagle Scout rank. A spokesperson said: "Families today are busier and more diverse than ever. Most...Read full story
Elderely spoof writer ponders science.
I am eighty-six years old and realize I have never known a great deal about science. When I was in high school I enrolled in a biology class. The first day of class we were informed that our first project would be to dissect a frog. I immediately qui...Read full story
NFL Woes Escalate: Cheerleaders Sue For Equal Pay and Grass Stains On Their Panties
ONLY IN AMERICA - During Week 6 of the National Football League season, players continue to take a knee in protest during the playing of the national anthem. Gosh, the season only started 6 weeks ago? Seems like this controversy has lasted forever! Y...Read full story
Bannon Calls for Boycott of Pledge of Allegiance
The boycott of the National Anthem by some NFL players has gained an unexpected ally. Steve Bannon, formerly of the White House staff and once again head of Breitbart News, announced today that he would no longer participate in recital of the Pledge...Read full story