Written by Gringo Lobos

Wednesday, 22 November 2017

image for Bond 007 latest movie - The Russian Spy that didn't know he was a Spy until he became President of America
007 says this ones too big for a single Bond and has called in the other 007s for help

The latest Bond 007 thriller announced by the Eon production company is set to start filming soon. Given there are no more Ian Fleming books to adapt they are said to be contriving a modern story line from contemporary events.

This time Daniel Craig has got his sights on one of Blofelds Spectre subsidiaries gone rogue, The Buffoon Clown Axis of Evil. Originally designed as a minor distraction in the ongoing Spectre agenda of world domination by stealth, it has now become an embarrassing, confused vaudeville act. Blofeld is said to be displeased with the outcome of the Buffoon Clown Axis of Evil (BCAoE) as they were supposed to destabilize international politics and facilitate citizen enslavement, not render the international economy into a constipated lemming. What is the point at owning a economically impotent world? bemoaned Spectres central accounting team.

In The Russian Spy that didn't know he was a Spy until he became President of America, Bond ends up inadvertently doing Blofelds dirty work for him by hunting down BCAoE members. But after he realizes he is a pawn in the global domination game he calls the old 007's out of retirement to take on the Mother of All Spectre Battles.

Critics says this is a top 5 epic and old and young Bond fans alike will get a buzz out of watching them give the BCAoE a good dose of secret service karmic comeuppance.

However one weak spot was the kindergarten grade alleged super villains. Apart from Honky Cats Elton John Rocket Man on stage piano recital the rest of the villains are hardly believable. Critics say that Dotard Buffoon Clown is a grossly overplayed character with none of the usual gangland charm and lurking malevolent powers. Further more they say that nobody in the world can actually be as stupid as he is portrayed. No they are so cliche that seem to come from a kindergarten Harry Potter fantasy world were evil is heavily sanitized and airbrushed from life. It lacks the archetypal power of something like the forces of the Greek Pantheon of Gods, that we have seen Bond, the modern day Achilles, give us in movies like Skyfall.

Even Blofeld was unimpressed with the latest superficial array of super villain wanna-bes. In fact he was heard shouting Your Fired to quite a few of the aspirationals. Blofeld further complained that who on earth could believe the nepotistic greasy sleazy brush back kiddies as senior advisors thing and decried them as particularly caricature Whitehouse villains. He is terminating their franchise with maximum prejudice, forthwith. Critics say they have not seen such poor acting since the passing of 80's Southfork Larry Hagman cardboard cut-out Texas Oil Men cronies.

Critics were also outraged by the Mnuchin Greenback Bathmat™ gimmick. They claim that only a complete fool or a Trump.com™ voter would get sucked in by the Bathmat ploy. Though the critics were once again mightily impressed with Lintons ongoing Antoinette cameo. After depriving the masses of Champagne Popsicle's she has now become the internationally recognized doyen of the Rich Bitch Sneer™. Even her most ardent critics concede, nobody does the sneer downwards unto the peasants thing like that girl.

Without spoiling the plot, Dotard Buffoon Clown is unaware of his true identity until he is activated, unconsciously believing he is a happy New York Mafia Boss; then gets elected; then gets activated in a secret meeting with Putin; then superstitiously tries to return the world to a pre-history posture, ushering in a new era of neo-barbarianism. But all the while 007 scurries desperately in the background to prevent the end of the civilized world. This will be the collective Bonds greatest challenge, so stay tuned for developments as 007 hunts down the rogue Spectre departments Impeachment Smoking Gun, and once again saves mankind from themselves.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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