Written by Backandtotheleft

Friday, 17 November 2017

In an announcement that has shocked no one Northern Ireland manager Michael O'Neil has said he's "not interested in the Sunderland job". Which came as a surprise to Sunderland as, up to that point, they'd not approached him.

Michael joins a long list of people who have publically stated they want nothing to do with the cursed club including Neil Warnock, Neil Armstrong and Neil Young.

Of course Sunderland are desperately searching for a new manager, or a win at home in 2017, after Simon Grayson was let go. He was found locked in a toilet crying and begging to be let go. Sunderland owner, Ellis Short, agreed and Grayson was freed from the mire of the Mackams. They lie in the relegation zone of the Championship and with every passing game look like a team from a comic strip who haven't won a game for ten years. Desperately waiting for a previously unknown striker to come in, score the goals and drive them up the table. Unfortunately no such striker who could stomach the city or the locals is likely to be found in the English game these days. With the level of racism gliding through the city as high as it is we doubt they'll find one from abroad either.

The only decent manager the city of Sunderland has seen in 20 years was Rai Patel down at "Patels Newsagents" but due to the cities views on Brexit he's decided to take his business elsewhere.

The problem facing Short now is to find a white, English, Brexit voting manager who hasn't ever heard of the city of Sunderland, has no connections with the city of Newcastle and won't use words with more than three syllables. It shouldn't be too difficult for them.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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